I need Help! someone give me some advice

[daman23]

This is the 1st time I posted but i've had this situation for a while. I am bi, and I think my roommate might be too. He is really really hot and i think he likes me too but i dont know how to "put things in motion."

Here is the story and the problem. It started out in class about 6, 7 months ago. This guy I noticed he would take glances at me in class and he's a really attractive guy so i started doing likewise. As classes went on HE started to befriend ME, hence inviting me to parties or to come and drink or smoke and chill. We both ended up dating the best two looking girls in the class and probably the school so he doesn't know i'm bi, i think... So anyway, This dude is freaking hot and i can't help but to check him and sometimes i wouldn't even hide it. I know hes caught me checking him out a couple times and i caught him checking me out too once or twice. We would sit by each other in class and sometimes he would sit so close that if i turned my head too fast i might kiss him by accident. literally, that close. This continued to go on until recently when we both we're getting closer to graduation. Fisrt he start subtly suggesting that we become roommates and as time passed he straight up just asked me to be his roommate. so a couple months later now we're roommates. The thing is him and his girlfriend are inseparable, i mean attached at the hip, bad. If i see him I see her... She moved into her new apartment a week before we moved into ours. So now i'm thinking if they are that close why didn't he just move in with her in the first place? and why me? HE asked ME to be his roommate. and other than smoking and class we don't really have too much in common. I would think its all in my head except I know for a fact his best friend is gay, (but in the closet sorta only a few people know) he has some gay tendencies, he has a couple of friends who off first glance could be misconstrued for gay. everytime anything gay is brought up he takes the defensive. ...Oh i forgot to mention, he always wears these shorts around the house, i dont know what type, but you can see the imprint of his cock in them. head and everything. he always wears them. and i know he has seen me looking at his cock before. so just as a test one day i wore my shorts with no boxers so you could see my dick head. i went to the kitchen and he was on the couch with his girl. i poured a glass stood there and drunk it. a few moments later he stood up to get something and was sporting a semi... I could see it clearly, if his girl wasnt there i would have said something it was so obvious, especially with those shorts on.
... But in the end I dont know if he is gay, bi, or none of the above he could easily be str8. I dont know how to go about bringing this up with him or should i let it alone? what should i do? should i wait for him to make a move?

 

[hotatlboi]

given that he has a girlfriend, I don't think you should be in a rush to get him to cheat. just be his friend unless he decides to change the situation.

 

[racer2438]

given that he has a girlfriend, I don't think you should be in a rush to get him to cheat. just be his friend unless he decides to change the situation.

^^^ yes, well said. You best off to let this ride a bit and see if it develops but not push it...

 

[CudDULL]

I think there might be something there between you two, he def shows some interest and come one you are roommates. I'm sure he would trust you and be open enough with you since he asked you to be his roommate.

 

[spencer]

go through the list of things and apply it to every other straight guy you know and those are all things any straight guy can do. especially the shorts, especially choosing a guy as a roomate over his girlfriend (guys need space, they fear commitment and moving in is HUGE). You're taking every thing he does and spinning it in your head to make it a gay sign in your favor when it's not.

if he caught you staring at his dick he'd make his move by now.

but if you really want to test him, dry yourself nekkid when he's in the bathroom and really see if he looks.

 

[rareboy]

Sorry.

He may be trying to have it both ways.

But it is entirely up to him to change things and make the move. Like ditching the gf.

As usual, the advice still stands. You're part homo? then tell him sometime. Be honest with yourself by telling someone else. If he tells you he is too, then you can decide which road you're both going to take. Cheating on your gf/bf? ... or committing yourself to one relationship at a time.

Otherwise, get out there, get yourself a bf or gf and stop fantasizing.

 

[G-Lexington]

Rareboy has the right idea. Stop with the "tee-hee-OMG-maybe-he-likes-me" stuff. That's fine for high school. You're supposed to be an adult, so perhaps you should go about it in a more adult way. And the best thing to do is tell him you're bisexual. It doesn't have to be a confession or a hint. Just tell him. That'll be his opening to come out to you if HE's bisexual. And if he doesn't take it, you can assume that means he's not interested in you like that, and you can get on with your life.

Lex

 

[daman23]

thanks for the advice. that's probably what ill do. when the time is right ill just let him know that i am bisexual and if he wants to take it any further we can go from there

 

[Spensed]

^ It's funny how this old chestnut never seems to go far away from this forum.

As far as I'm concerned, the is-he-or-isn't-he-gay-friend stuff never works because it's based on a false premise of male sexuality, which other folk and I have posted about ad nauseam:

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4845517&highlight=spensed#post4845517

The good news is that he's at worst a forerunner. When and if you're more available yourself, there are thousands of guys out there, with whom you wouldn't need to play this unhappy game.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I agree with Lex and Rareboy. Honesty is important. So many men worry themselves about how other guys feel because they're never bold enough to tell the guy they like their true feelings. If you're bi, say it! Who cares? He's your friend and roommate. He'll understand. And if he doesn't? Then you'll know there never was a connection there both physically and/or in friendship.

Also, he is very much into his girlfriend. If he's bisexual too, he may find you attractive, but he also finds his girl both emotionally and physically attractive. Since she came first, you've gotta respect the relationship. I wouldn't do anything with him unless she knows about it and is cool with the situation. Or he dumps her and is single again. It's just being fair and you'd expect the same level of respect from any bf/gf you'd be with.

 

[Lewis1]

all circumstantial evidence lol

(bangs gavel)

I think we all have a lil bi in us

 

[sheep]

all circumstantial evidence lol

(bangs gavel)

I think we all have a lil bi in us

Not true. I don't like gurlz

 

[Lube]

He defends gays and has several gay friends.

Why on earth don't you come out to him? What are you afraid of?

And, really, she's with him 24x7? He doesn't do anything just with the guys? Sounds like a fag-hag more than a girlfriend. Most straight guys would be suffocated by a girl like that.

 

[sheep]

Are you physical with each other? Hugs? Bumslaps?
You could *ply* him with alcohol some night when she isn't around. U might not do dirties but u might both feel comfortable talking about feelings for each other. God knows what might happen after that

Other than trying to open the door for a heart to heart, I wouldn't make anymore assumptions about his possible sexual desires. You guys, after this length of time should be very open with each other. Coming out to him would be a very honest gesture. You can add that little bit about that you are totally in love & lust with him but work your way up to it depending on the feedback you get from him, for instance if he has torn all of your clothes off and is riding your cock, its pretty safe to tell him you are nutz about him

 

[daman23]

I would like to tell him but i have no clue as to how to go about it without him or me feeling uncomfortable. I am not really out to anyone and would be really really nervous. He told me one day how his other friend came out to him and said he basically just told him in a random conversation.

I dont know how i would feel afterward I dont want him to think of me any different. Im one of those guys that always been in the in crowd and girls always flirt with me i dont know if this would like shatter his image of me.

And yes he is with his girl 24x7. when they are available they are together, but that could mean they just really really like each other. On the other hand I know from experience (from myself and others i been with) that having a girlfriend doesn't really mean anything (as far as being gay, bi, or straight)

...We aren't that physical together but im not a touchy feely type of guy. however i did notice as a test i started kinda like patting him on the chest or things like that when i would tell a joke and he seemed to like it but people in general gravitate and respond positively to touch so that doesnt necessarily mean anything

IDK i just think i would feel like he biggest bonehead if i do tell him and i conformed all this stuff in my head. I know for a fact he either thinks i'm cool as hell or he is into me at least a little bit........ but im stumped



oh yeah Hellosir i recently broke up with my gf.....

 

[nautiboyjeff]

Use the girlfriend....do you all do things together? Ask the girlfriend when you are out or watching TV, "do you think that guy is hot?". Then when she says yes, you can say "yeah - I think so too". Make sure he can hear you. Or tell her, "you and X make a great looking couple, you are both HOT". If you know if he's got hot junk, you can even let her know, you know, she's got it good.

 

[Lube]

I wouldn't tell him (right away, anyway) that you had the hots for him. I would just come out to him. "Yeah, that girl is hot, but some guys are pretty damn hot, too!".

There's nothing embarrassing about that, especially when he already told you a gay friend came out to him. I think he knows you're gay/bi and that's why he told you that story.

 

[daman23]

ok Just to give an update i definitely know its gonna be something. The other day i just came back from the gym and i was chillin in the front room watching tv with my shirt off. He comes in and i notice him checking me out but not heavily.... but still looking when he gets the opportunity. The he goes back to his room to change from his shorts and change his t when he comes back out he's halfway putting on his shirt so i can see his pleasure trail... of course i'm gonna look. But then what i notice through his jeans is this guy is sporting Freaking wood! right in my face like bam! it was so surprising i didnt even have anything to say... but it helped give me more confirmation.... (it leans to the right.lol) I think now i will just wait for him to make his move and try to make it a little more obvious that i'm into him too. Also surprisingly yesterday, (that was in the morning) I didnt see his girl that whole day and we ended up chillin on the couch watching about 3 dvd's back to back last night just me and him. Without his girl........

Another thing i noticed is when it was just me and him he sat kinda close to me on the couch not so close to where we are touching, but close. his friend came over for about a half hour or so and i noticed when his guy friend was here he sat kinda further away... may be something maybe not. idk

either way its a little progress ill still wait for him to make his move.....

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, go ahead, fuck over the girlfriend, he's fair game for you right? She's just a twat and your feelings for him trump hers.

You know you'd be totally fine with some guy trying to bang your steady if the situation was reversed.

You have an ethical problem here. What kind of guy do you plan on being?

You can ignore her existence all you want, but I'm pretty sure you'd have kittens if you were in her place. Why do you think it's OK to screw her over like that?

Look at what you're doing. You're sitting around hyper analyzing this guy (which is usually a bad sign - if he's so interested you'd think he'd a. not be spending all his time with his girlfriend, and b. have done something by now), in the hopes he'll cheat on his girlfriend with you. You're uncomfortable telling him you like guys, but you expect him to make a move. You know he'll figure out that you like guys after he's got his cock in your mouth. And if you think things will be awkward if you TELL him, aren't they going to be even worse after that? SO why not say something now? Why wait?

Because you want this to be all on him. HE makes the move, HE fucks over his girlfriend, HE says something before you do. What kind of friend do you want to be? Even if you start routinely cheating with him that doesn't mean he's gonna leave her. If anyone ever finds out, you're the home-wrecking slut and he's the cheating asshole, will your relationship survive that?

He's told no one he like guys - in fact you don't even know if this is the case. But even if it is, he's hiding it, and what does that tell you about how he feels about it. You're hiding the fact that you like guys so obviously you also have issues with it.

Is there anywhere in this situation that you can find a happily ever after? Or even a no strings attached fuck buddy?

 

[Blueboy369]

If your friend is not engaged, married or living with his girlfriend, all indicators of a serious relationship, I don't see a problem. Life is short. Let things happen naturally. Have fun with him, be playful, flirt and enjoy! A good pillow fight is a nice ice breaker.