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I need some advice guys

M

More_guy2004

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I have a friend that is hot as hell. Up until a couple of weeks ago he was engaged to this chick And she herself even told me that he was bi. And she has found gay porn on his computer. I don't think he knows she found it.

Anyway, they have now broken off their relationship and I'm very interested in him. And I've tried to let him know it in very obvious ways but he just brushes them off like nothing.

I started out doing it in a joking way. When he was engaged to her (the night she told me he was bi), I started hitting on him jokingly right in front of her even. She thought it was all in fun and went along with it. Hell, I even went as far as to play with his nipples that night...and he didn't mind and made no effort to get me to stop.

But all efforts since that night have been fruitless. We've exchanged dozens of emails online and I always find a way to "hit" on him in the emails..some of which have been very obvious...all to no avail. He wouldn't even comment on my advances.

We have met twice for lunch..once we were with other friends..I even hit on him then; but I did it in a joking way so the rest of the guys wouldn't think anything of it. And then he and I met last week alone for lunch to discuss a business issue. This time I didn't hit on him at all . But I came home and emailed him and thanked him for lunch and then told him how cute he looked. No repsonse from him as far as my advances.

Last night we chatted on messenger for the first time. And everytime I'd hit on him...he would get quiet. I sensed that and I was afraid of scaring him off so I told him I was only playing around and to let me know if I ever went too far. He replied "it's okay....you could never scare me."

So its like he doesn't mind me making advances toward him but he is either not interested in me or is too shy or afraid to say anything or do anything.

I want to think that his "you could never scare me" remark is his way of letting me know he enjoys it or is interested in me as well. But I don't know.

So, I thought I'd seek advice from you guys before I made my next move...so HELP!!! :D
 
Does he know you are gay? He certainly doesn't sound threatened by your gay advances. If he doesn't then maybe he's interpreting your flirtations as merely joking around which will get you nowhere. He could also be keeping his options open with his girlfriend as far as going back to her.
 
I was in a similar situation for years. We flirted alot via e-mail but he never wanted to bring it up in person. He said that he did not want to ruin our friendship. Sometimes I pledge that I would not call him again and then he calls me instead wanting to have a little get-together. We still meet now and then and keep incontact but he nor I have never persued our attraction for eachother. Shame, I would really have like to.
 
1st,

that could be a possibility that he don't know that Im gay. I've never told him; but surely to Goodness his gaydar works...LOL. I'm very discreet and masculine but guys have told me they knew I was without me ever telling them.

As far as keeping options open w/ his GF, that is highly unlikely. She is now with someone else.

I just ran into him earlier. He was working and there were other customers there and I had bought some stuff and was telling him about it. And right in front of everyone he said "what are you going to buy me?...surely after everything we have gone through you are going to buy me something" and just grinned. I was shocked to say the least.

I'm confused here so I'm open to any and all suggestions from you guys!
 
G'day More,

Well mate, if this guy does see you for who you are, obviously a good caring loyal friend maybe he doesnt want to jeopordize that...and in the long run that maybe the best thing too if you really stop and think about it.... or he simply is having trouble accepting himself and the possibility that you know about him. Its something to that you might want to share with your fiance to be honest and open with her...but maybe he just cant face the whole world yet....

Either way more....if you want this guy in your life in anyway, treat him and yourself with the respect and openness that good friendships really deserve. Talk to him. Open up to him about being gay. Tell him you know he's bi. Do it with no strings attached and see how it unfolds. Friendships are built around trust and honesty.

Dont risk it by playing games. Talk to him....
 
You've tried everything you can think of to let him know you want him. Unless he's in a coma, he's figured it out by now. Obviously, he's not interested. When he says "you don't scare me" he means your advances mean nothing to him one way or the other.

Sorry to be so blunt, but the sooner you forget about him the better. Move on!
 
Ugh, seems like a lot of gay playing for little return to me. Personally, I'd probably start focusing my efforts elsewhere.
 
You're wasting your time. He's clearly not interested. Either that or he's not brave enough to tell you he likes you. Does that sound familiar? Yeah, thought so. If you can't muster the balls to tell him straight up, then you haven't got a chance IMO. Maybe you're not his type? A few questions should solve that issue. Tell him what you like in a guy. If you don't come out to him he won't know for sure.
 
I know Soilwork would tell you to keep playing games (NOT), but I think you just need to be direct. Tell his gf told you he is into gay porn and that you would like to go out with him. The gf angle gives him a chance to deny it and you both save face. I think he is interested, but afraid of anyone finding out his secret. If he knows you already know, maybe he won't be so afraid. By the way, there is a possibility that his gf's gaydar works and she made up the gay porn stuff as a way to get back at him.
 
More_guy2004 said:
I have a friend that is hot as hell. Up until a couple of weeks ago he was engaged to this chick And she herself even told me that he was bi. And she has found gay porn on his computer. I don't think he knows she found it.

Anyway, they have now broken off their relationship and I'm very interested in him. And I've tried to let him know it in very obvious ways but he just brushes them off like nothing.

I started out doing it in a joking way. When he was engaged to her (the night she told me he was bi), I started hitting on him jokingly right in front of her even. She thought it was all in fun and went along with it. Hell, I even went as far as to play with his nipples that night...and he didn't mind and made no effort to get me to stop.

But all efforts since that night have been fruitless. We've exchanged dozens of emails online and I always find a way to "hit" on him in the emails..some of which have been very obvious...all to no avail. He wouldn't even comment on my advances.

We have met twice for lunch..once we were with other friends..I even hit on him then; but I did it in a joking way so the rest of the guys wouldn't think anything of it. And then he and I met last week alone for lunch to discuss a business issue. This time I didn't hit on him at all . But I came home and emailed him and thanked him for lunch and then told him how cute he looked. No repsonse from him as far as my advances.

Last night we chatted on messenger for the first time. And everytime I'd hit on him...he would get quiet. I sensed that and I was afraid of scaring him off so I told him I was only playing around and to let me know if I ever went too far. He replied "it's okay....you could never scare me."

So its like he doesn't mind me making advances toward him but he is either not interested in me or is too shy or afraid to say anything or do anything.

I want to think that his "you could never scare me" remark is his way of letting me know he enjoys it or is interested in me as well. But I don't know.

So, I thought I'd seek advice from you guys before I made my next move...so HELP!!! :D
Click to expand...
Gett off the internet. It creates too much drama.
This is not a situation that is easy face-to-face. The internet just makes it worse.

I suggest you give up on him though. He's likely in no mood/shape to give you what you need/want.
 
slobone said:
You've tried everything you can think of to let him know you want him. Unless he's in a coma, he's figured it out by now. Obviously, he's not interested. When he says "you don't scare me" he means your advances mean nothing to him one way or the other.

Sorry to be so blunt, but the sooner you forget about him the better. Move on!
Click to expand...
I agreee with slobone. He isn't reacting to your advances. Take the hint.
 
He is just off a broken engagement, you keep hitting on him, and he goes silent and doesn't respond.

I agreee with slobone. He isn't reacting to your advances. Take the hint.
Click to expand...
 
Sometimes a good friend is worth so much more than a sex partner. Accept your relationship, & if (down the road) something happens, it it was meant to be (Damn that sounds so trite).
 
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