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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

I need some advise on what to do!

What more advice do you think you need?

I think that people have parsed this crise to the greatest extent possible and given you every possible angle to play

If he hasn't asked you to fuck by now, move on.
 
Age is not just a number when you are 19 or 20. At 25 you may not be looking for this type of guy. Try meeting men.
 
You were going to see if you could get to know him better by speaking to him, perhaps asking him to coffee.

Instead you observed him from over several CD racks away and are coming up with excuses why he may not be the one for you.

Coffee isn't a lifelong commitment. What are you afraid of?
 
Hey Mattcharles,

Mate, only you can answer this question now... but for what its worth my advice is give it one last shot.

First impressions can be wrong. So can second. So which do you beleive? The things that attracted you to him in the first place or the things that suddenly turned you off.

The guy was probably as nervous as you, saw you approach and thought - I'm gonna impress this guy by being in charge. He just may have thought that was turning you on not off. Who knows - that may actually be he role in the store.

Mate, you are never going to know unless you speak to this guy one on one. I go back to the first posts mate... dont waste your life wondering. Find out. Ask him for a coffee... talk to him...find out what hes really like.

Then decide. Not before. Dont waste any more time on the what ifs and I wonders. You could be missing out on spending time with a guy whos got so many layers and things to share... thats what you need to find out.

Its your call Mattcharles. Its time to satisfy your curiosity and discover whether your instincts and attraction was right all along.
 
Part of the reason you get hurt is because you agonize about everything so much that it takes on a huge dimension in your mind.
 
You: Hey man

Him: Hey.

You: OK, I was going to waste all sorts of time flirting with you, but how about we skip that and I ask you to a movie?

Him: (speechless at how hot it is when a guy is so relaxed about being attracted to him) well.. um.. yeah.. sure.. I was kinda waiting to get the chance to ask you out myself... glad you did.

You: Cool. Friday night. Maybe beer first?
 
(oh.. and getting hurt is part of life. The only reason I'm happy is that I got used to getting hurt and wasn't scared of it any more.)
 
I have to say that sometimes people act a certain way because they are trying to impress someone, or they are trying to throw someone off the track.

I have acted like a jerk a couple of times when hot guys would ask me something, or when there is a hot guy around.. I don't mean to at the time, and afterward I'm like ](*,) ... It's just something that happens to me weither I want to or not.

You probably shouldn't judge him until u actually talk with him I would think.
 
Part of the reason you get hurt is because you agonize about everything so much that it takes on a huge dimension in your mind.
Click to expand...

Exactly. The world is too full of egocentric drama queens who take every little rejection and hurt and make it into a life threatening crisis. I think it is a problem of the young; no desire to fail and then lear from the experience.

Learn to accept that failure to have someone fall passionately in love with you is not a failure of character but simply a failure to connect.

Diffidence is no excuse. Practise. Learn to smile and be friendly when someone is drifting you. You'll be the centre of attention before you know it.
 
thank you guys! you all have said enough. it's just up to me not to screw things up lol. I just pray things turn out ok, and if it doesnt work out I would have a new friend. :)
 
Ok here is an update on this situation lol.

I dated a guy for 2 months. the guy i was with wanted to break up with me, long story! :(
Let's not get into that.

But anyway, so I haven't seen this guy the WHOLE time I was with my b/f for 2 months at the store he works at. Now that I am single again, I had seen this guy again LOL. I swear something is telling me to go up to him but I am just to shy!!!!

I saw him last thursday and I was walking into the store. I was looking for a toy for my nephew for his birthday, guess who I saw standing on the side isle of me? yup, HIM lol. We both made eye contact and he was giving me the eye again, I ran LOL. I got so nervous. I don't have the guts to go up to him! :(

then I went down the snack isle and I felt someone looking at me, and it was him and when I went to go look down the isle he went in the back.

Ughhh, I still don't know what to do! :cry:
 
Can you express what it is you're scared of? Sometimes the act of putting it down in writing helps you to put things into better perspective.
 
Ok, so I go to the store where he works at today right?
I look like HELL mind you lol.
I recently got my gallbaldder taken out and was like BLAHHH all day so I wanted to find this new DVD to see if I can buy it. Sooo, I go by the CD rack to look at the new releases today, and guess who cames walking threw the back door pushing a cart? Right "HIM" I got all nervous lol. So I turned around and I looked at him,

and he SMILED AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was still walking though with the cart when he did that. It wasnt a shopping cart because he works in the back most of the time.
OMG, I looked and put my head down lol.
I hope I didn't give him a dirty look because I was in shocked that he smiled at me lol.

If he was only standing their like the other times I see him, I would have went up to him, but I didn't want to follow him to the other side of the store and into the back lol, although the thought did cross my mind. ;)

UGHHHHH, I am getting closer and closer, I can feel it!
 
This is crazy!!!!! I would give my right arm to be in your situation...

Well, maybe not my arm... I'm going to say this again... DO SOMETHING!!!!
 
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