I need some emotional support!

[Twistedup]

Wow. Typing that thread title made it really hit home. Some of you may remember; I had a thread a while back--I can't seem to find the link. It was about my roommate at the time, who was one of my oldest and best friends. Well for a very very very short period of time we had what, to me, was a dream come true going on. It was what I had wanted for years and years. Well it was too good to be true and after it escalated he flipped out and hurt me really bad. He cost me my job, my home, a ton of money, my pet, and countless sleepless nights between now and then.

Well I have moved on, came out to many people, had one short relationship, started a new job, moved to another end of the city, etc.

But I guess I haven't really moved on. I have been watching a bunch of sappy gay movies lately...poisonous I know...and can't stop thinking about him...even though he hurt me so bad. By all means I should hate him...if fact I do. I even quit drinking...well for the most part...just because of my urges to call him.

It is getting sooo bad, though. I have met great guys...I have talked with old friends, with my sisters and classmates...I have done everything right, and I have made for 6 months now. But I don't think I can wait any longer. I have to call him. I have to go over there.

I need help. I need distractions. I need suggestions. I need counseling...I need them all. Please, JUB, give me these things. Help me through this crisis as you helped me through it when it began... I would never have made it this far without your help, and now I need it again.

I know many of you have been in a similar situation. How have you dealt with this...this...this...fuckfuckfuckfuck

 

[Horschallen]

Recovery from heartache is a long and slow process. While it is there at the end of the tunnel, the journey through the tunnel is going to be painful and taxing. Just do your best by diversifying yourself, fight the urge to contact him or stalk him (internet, phone, in person, etc.), learn to love yourself and seek professional counseling services. I have gone this same journey myself and even after 8 years, I still catch myself thinking about it, only it is much less painful. Best of luck to you.

 

[spencer]

meeting new people is a good distraction. the grieving really sucks, I hate it too.

 

[backpacker]

I remember your thread. Sounds like everything is going much better for you now, with one notable exception. Is there a no contact order in place with him? If so, you really should avoid talking to him for legal reasons. Barring any legal reasons, the best thing for your emotional and physical heath is to avoid him.

Let me say it's very common and understandable that you would still have feelings for him. While he did many bad things to you, it's actually a good thing that you don't hate him. Hate does nothing but cause you to hurt more. I'm sure part of it is that you want your old friend back and part of it is that you want your dream come true back. Unfortunately you can't roll back time or un-ring the bell. The relationship would never be able to go back to what it was. Unfortunately there is no magic pill to let you get over him. Over time things will get better. The best thing you can do is forgive him and forget him.

You need to keep yourself busy. Sounds like you have been doing that, but you may need to step it up a notch. Join so gay groups. You should ask a couple of your friends to be available whenever you need them for support. When you get the urge to call him, call your friends instead. Good luck!

 

[Twistedup]

Hey thanks for the advice, guys. I don't know why I've been so fucked up today. It has never happened before. It seems like everything I see and hear is getting thrown at me...

Geez, I feel so lame and emo. I've been through a number of relationships, and what we had was hardly a relationship at all in that sense...yet I easily shrugged all but this one off. Maybe it is cause they were all straight relationships that I never put too much faith into anyways...I don't know.

It is so pathetic. I absolutely don't know what to do. I'm 25 years old. I feel like I'm 14.

So this is heartache. It fucking hurts. I had done so well to protect myself from it all this time.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

 

[amyleeisjesus]

Imagine yourself incurring more medical bills if you go over there. That should be enough of a deterrent. Tell yourself you have more respect for yourself than to go get your face beat in, or even risk being the target of another "outburst." If nothing else be strong for the puppy that surely wouldn't approve of you reuniting with his attacker.

Consider the ruin he brought to your life. When your mind wanders to sweet thoughts of him, shift back to the reality of what he's done. If I remember correctly he didn't even express remorse.

Just out of curiosity, how do you still have his number? Is it stored in your phone? If so, deleting him would be the best option at this point. That helps to put a period and move on, as well as stifle those pesky urges.

 

[Twistedup]

yeah...i never had any medical bills...but vet bills i do have...and plenty of reasons to get the fuck over it.

phase 1: delete number and old text/picture messages. how can i have been so stupid as to have kept them anyway? lol i have been reading that shit almost daily.

aaaaand....done.