Yeah, I need to stop posting blog at 2 AM in the morning, this is not good, even if it's a Friday. Actually it's bad that's it's Friday night, when I'm supposed to be out there hanging out or something... However, I set a rule for myself not to do anything on Friday nite besides being a lazy ass bum on my computer. 
There is a strange thing about me. I do not usually write blogs, but every time I did, it's long. Don't think this one will be that long though. /end rambling.
Today, as a typical Friday, I had 7 classes, which is really tiring when I'm done with the day. I had a big test in one of the classes too, it's scary, but I think I did well on it. Yay for me. For the most part, classes are going fine. Just have to spend a little bit more time studying even though I will get thru fine without, but I want to actually learn the concept, because understanding the concepts is important, not passing the tests.
I should start to get fit physically. For the last few weeks, I have terrible diet (not nutritious, not frequent enough, or too much) b/c I'm stressing out for school most of the time. I think that's the reason. The thing is, I know, I will shatter whatever goal I plan out. But this time I will try harder.
Goal: go the the rec center 3 times per week, maybe 1 hrs each. And eat healthier.
Mental goal: go and see a counselor at the Counseling Center. I think he/she might be able to help me to relieve some of the stress/anxiety/depression that I might have. It's free, but I'm always hesitate to go there, b/c I don't want people to know too much about my personal life, but I want someone to talk to at the same time. lol
Right now, I think I'm still in the denial phase of my life. I sometimes wonder "Am I gay? Am I really gay? or just bisexual? or just curious?" I would say my upbringing has some impact on that. I'm not hating myself. It's just not 'convenient' (can't find a better word right now) to be gay in my situation when you want to be who you are, but you can't.](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
Girls in my culture are being like untouchable. In high school, I wouldn't even think about get their attention (not often anyways 
); however, same goes with guys, b/c I didn't want to be in a relationship ('b/c my mom said so' ) Now in college, after more exposure to JUB and the gay world, I actually find myself frequently looking at other hot guys 
and rarely at other hot girls (my type, not the blonde cheerleader type). I want a relationship, but I also want to wait until I got a stable job and can support myself first. No wonder my mom/relatives always told me not to get my head in those relationship thingy now, b/c it's so complicated. But if I know it now, it will benefit the future, right? Oh well, I'm gay or not, the answer is in the future me...
There is a strange thing about me. I do not usually write blogs, but every time I did, it's long. Don't think this one will be that long though. /end rambling.
Today, as a typical Friday, I had 7 classes, which is really tiring when I'm done with the day. I had a big test in one of the classes too, it's scary, but I think I did well on it. Yay for me. For the most part, classes are going fine. Just have to spend a little bit more time studying even though I will get thru fine without, but I want to actually learn the concept, because understanding the concepts is important, not passing the tests.
I should start to get fit physically. For the last few weeks, I have terrible diet (not nutritious, not frequent enough, or too much) b/c I'm stressing out for school most of the time. I think that's the reason. The thing is, I know, I will shatter whatever goal I plan out. But this time I will try harder.
Goal: go the the rec center 3 times per week, maybe 1 hrs each. And eat healthier.
Mental goal: go and see a counselor at the Counseling Center. I think he/she might be able to help me to relieve some of the stress/anxiety/depression that I might have. It's free, but I'm always hesitate to go there, b/c I don't want people to know too much about my personal life, but I want someone to talk to at the same time. lol
Right now, I think I'm still in the denial phase of my life. I sometimes wonder "Am I gay? Am I really gay? or just bisexual? or just curious?" I would say my upbringing has some impact on that. I'm not hating myself. It's just not 'convenient' (can't find a better word right now) to be gay in my situation when you want to be who you are, but you can't.
Girls in my culture are being like untouchable. In high school, I wouldn't even think about get their attention (not often anyways ); however, same goes with guys, b/c I didn't want to be in a relationship ('b/c my mom said so' ) Now in college, after more exposure to JUB and the gay world, I actually find myself frequently looking at other hot guys and rarely at other hot girls (my type, not the blonde cheerleader type). I want a relationship, but I also want to wait until I got a stable job and can support myself first. No wonder my mom/relatives always told me not to get my head in those relationship thingy now, b/c it's so complicated. But if I know it now, it will benefit the future, right? Oh well, I'm gay or not, the answer is in the future me...