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I need your input on this..

J

JABEEE

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So I dated this guy for about a year. Things ended on horrible terms. The relationship ended in cheating and abusively. We both did things we shouldn't have done to each other and I did something extremely horrible to him afterwards. Something you shouldn't do to anybody. He's forgiven me though (keep in mind most sane people would not forgive the things I did). Anyhow, he has continued to pay my cellphone bill since the 7 months we've been apart now.

The 2 months following the break up we were still fighting and I couldn't handle it anymore so I moved across the country to get away from it all. Before I left I met up with him to say bye. It was a nice goodbye. He made me promise before I left that I would see him again. So I did.

I've now fallen out of love but I do still have strong feelings for the guy. He insists on it that he has no feelings for me etc. etc. Anyway so the past month we started talking quite often again and the promise about seeing each other came up. Now his plane lands in 2 weeks. He's staying with me... my question is what do you guys make of this? I don't want feelings to resurface but I miss the guy alot.

Is it normal for say him to be flying over here to see me for 5 days? He says hes not worried about anything happening but I don't know if hes putting up a guard. I've apologized to him for everything that has happend. Everything is great now I just don't know what his intentions are.
 
I think it is just a matter of lust! I take it you had some hot sex in your year together! Watch out for the sparks to fly again! :D
 
It's not sex. It was never like that. We had a bond a really tight one which hit the fan. Sex was never the biggest thing or even one of the biggest things we had.
 
Things ended on horrible terms. The relationship ended in cheating and abusively. We both did things we shouldn't have done to each other and I did something extremely horrible to him afterwards.
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I think it is great that you might be able to repair some of the damage and still be friends.

But leave it at that.

And start paying your own cellphone bill for heaven's sakes.
 
In cases where a person posts about a now-ended relationship, mentions the cheating and horrible fights but doesn't mention anything about good times... well, it's a pretty good indicator that the relationship was unhealthy and toxic.

He can visit. You can talk. But perhaps he should stay in a hotel. And you need to do some thinking about why you haven't moved on from an unhealthy relationship that barely lasted a year.
 
It was great for the first half, perfect but I ended up stumbling on a msn conversation which made everything go south. It was toxic and shiteous the last half. I tried to make it work but I couldn't see past what happend. We've both forgiven each other for the shit that went down. We're on really good terms now. We speak as if nothing happend and we've agreed to not speak of what happend in the past.

we're trying to keep that stuff underwraps. it happend, we both know it happend but it's in the past now and we don't speak of it.
 
Trust is hard to rebuild, and keeping things under wraps usually means they fester and boil and explode later on. Good luck.
 
He'll be here Sunday and I'm excited. I really have no resent or anger anymore. The time we've had apart has seemed to totally heal the bad past. We refuse to even speak about it. I couldn't picture myself mad at the guy. I feel like I did when we first met. The innocent feeling.

Talking to him had made me miss home alot more also. He's making me realise I miss my friends and family alot more than I thought I did.
 
Stumbling upon this thread I feel as if I've landed in a tawdry soap opera. Good luck with everything.
 
JABEEE said:
He'll be here Sunday and I'm excited. I really have no resent or anger anymore. The time we've had apart has seemed to totally heal the bad past. We refuse to even speak about it. I couldn't picture myself mad at the guy. I feel like I did when we first met. The innocent feeling.

Talking to him had made me miss home alot more also. He's making me realise I miss my friends and family alot more than I thought I did.
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There's several worrisome comments in your post but it's doubtful that anything will change your mind at this point.

Good luck
 
I'm not trying to get back with the guy. I've started my life here in Vancouver and I'm glad with my progress. I just don't know what to think of all this. Even I realise it's not normal whats happening.
 
Is he only coming just to visit you? If so, I feel like somethings going to happen.

And, what was so bad that no sane person would forgive? Was it that bad?
 
Yeah, he's coming just to see me. He's staying with me but I've made it clear someone sleeps on the futon and someone on the bed.

It was really bad, like something I can't even comprehend I did. Something I can't even forgive myself for doing. He has a big heart though.

We were talking on the phone last night and he told me the only reason he forgave me is cause he could sense remorse. He knew I was truly sorry.
 
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