I Really Don't Like Men on the Down Low....

[DiamondSkin]

So I went to a gay club last night, and sat at the bar watching my friends perform acts of unnatural perversion on the dance floor (I was the DD....) and a guy, say about 27, came up to me to chat. Here's the abridged version.

Me: So, you're married...? *points at wedding band*

Douchebag: Yep. Got two kids too. One's in preschool and the other is a toddler.

Me: Does your wife know you're here?

Douchebag: Of course not. I'm on the DL. I'm man who likes to have sex with men.

Me: You mean you're gay

Douchebag: No, I'm straight.

Me: But you said you like to have sex with men.

Douchebag: Yes. I'm straight man who likes to have sex with men.

Me: ............................

Douchebag: Here's a picture of my family. *takes out pictures in his wallet*

Me: Wow...they're.....nice-looking.

Douchebag: Yes, thank you. So, um, you interested in having some fun?

Me: Not interested, thank you. I don't have sex with married gay men.

Douchebag: But I'm not gay.

Me: Yes, you are.

Douchebag: No, I'm not. I'm man who on occasion likes to have sex with men. Like you.

Me: Ugh. No. No, thank you.

Douchebag: Why not?

Me: I just think it's wrong. I won't help you cheat on your wife

Douchebag: I'm not cheating on my wife. If I were cheating on my wife, I would have sex with another woman. Since I'm having sex with a man, it does not constitute to cheating.

Me: UGH! Goodbye, my friends wanna dance.

Douchebag:


I truly despise gay men on the downlow. They're delusional and in a bit PROUD of their cheating. It really sickens me....

 

[Alpha1851]

This man whipped out a picture of his wife and kids? Talk about a mood killer.

 

[DiamondSkin]

*standing ovation*

*thunderous applause*

Some men woulda taken him into the bathroom and given him a midnight special while he talked to his wife on the phone. I like the way you handle thangs.

I think he found a club slut to have 'fun' with. I feel sorry for his family. Especially his wife.

 

[DiamondSkin]

This man whipped out a picture of his wife and kids? Talk about a mood killer.

Yes, he did. Like it was a goddamn trophy. I think he thought I was one of the nasty gay men who have a fetish for sleeping with married men....

 

[Alpha1851]

I think he found a club slut to have 'fun' with. I feel sorry for his family. Especially his wife.

Pffttt....She's probably screwing his best friend.

This is the face of traditional marriage. Back off gay people.

 

[Fucker29]

He's may be a douchebag but not every men on the "down low" is like that. Don't you dare put me in the same sentence as him. Kthx.

 

[Muscles4daze]

So I went to a gay club last night, and sat at the bar watching my friends perform acts of unnatural perversion on the dance floor (I was the DD....) and a guy, say about 27, came up to me to chat. Here's the abridged version.

Me: So, you're married...? *points at wedding band*

Douchebag: Yep. Got two kids too. One's in preschool and the other is a toddler.

Me: Does your wife know you're here?

Douchebag: Of course not. I'm on the DL. I'm man who likes to have sex with men.

Me: You mean you're gay

Douchebag: No, I'm straight.

Me: But you said you like to have sex with men.

Douchebag: Yes. I'm straight man who likes to have sex with men.

Me: ............................

Douchebag: Here's a picture of my family. *takes out pictures in his wallet*

Me: Wow...they're.....nice-looking.

Douchebag: Yes, thank you. So, um, you interested in having some fun?

Me: Not interested, thank you. I don't have sex with married gay men.

Douchebag: But I'm not gay.

Me: Yes, you are.

Douchebag: No, I'm not. I'm man who on occasion likes to have sex with men. Like you.

Me: Ugh. No. No, thank you.

Douchebag: Why not?

Me: I just think it's wrong. I won't help you cheat on your wife

Douchebag: I'm not cheating on my wife. If I were cheating on my wife, I would have sex with another woman. Since I'm having sex with a man, it does not constitute to cheating.

Me: UGH! Goodbye, my friends wanna dance.

Douchebag:


I truly despise gay men on the downlow. They're delusional and in a bit PROUD of their cheating. It really sickens me....

More Gay men need to have those same values

 

[Alpha1851]

We have a few JUBBERS who easily could've been the douche bag. You know, wife and kids at home, all of which have no clue that daddy likes to get a little dick on the side. And it's all okay since what the family doesn't know won't hurt them. And there's no way they'll ever find out. And he always uses protection. And it's not cheating anyway.

It would be hella funny if you were actually propositioned by a JUBBER. I'm going to watch the Straight/Bi and Coming Out Sections for the next few days. I'll die laughing if this same story appears, but from the douche bags perspective.

If it does appear, I'm betting that the douche bag will refer to the OP as "the flaming queen," who insists on parading his "lifestyle" around.

 

[treanir]

I would've been weirded out at first. Seeing a pic of the wife+kids would have been a wake-up call. And I think I died laughing when I read the 'it's not cheating' explanation.

Hmmm... I have a friend who had sex with a married man just yesterday. I don't know much more than that (could be an 'open marriage' between men, which sounds odd to me), but I am curious now.

 

[StlKj]

God, what kind of foreplay is showing off pictures of your kids?

To me, that would be like dipping my balls in icy hot and duct taping my asshole closed.

And Moe, sweetie, no "straight" guy who wants to cheat on his wife with a dude is going to buy Chardonnay for his conquest.


He might pick up a box of Franzia on the way there.

 

[StlKj]

He could pick up a 40 oz of malt liquor for all I care. My whole point was to give the guy the runaround, but like Marley pointed out to me dipshits like that usually have back-ups.

I still enjoy getting the DLs all excited and at the last minute dump a bucket of cold water on their deceitful asses.

Oh, I know what your point was. I just didn't want you to give him too much credit for taste.

 

[mega]

Pretzel logic. People like that make my skin crawl.