I really like the Barista, what to do?

[backseatboy]

I need a second opinion on this..

There is this local barista that i'm really feeling. I'm not sure if he is into me but he always speaks to me and asks me am 80's trivia question and if I get it right I get my drink free, lol, and if i get it wrong i get my drink free too. I know it isn't much, but even at the drive through he recognizes my voice. this could all be normal behavior, but I want to let him know that I like him. Since he is on the job I know there are certain things you can't do..

He is African-American and he doesn't have the urban personality, like me, which is perfect. Where I live this is RARE, so I'm determined not to let this pass without a try.

My friends suggest that I leave my number on a java jacket or a receipt. OR find him on Facebook. I think they are kind weird options. My plan was to just strike up a conversation and actually tell him my name and ask where he goes to school and hope that will be enough to spark some curiosity and see how he reacts... THEN maybe find him on Facebook.

A penny for your thoughts?
-Broke Straight Boys

 

[joeG23]

I think you have the right approach - ask him if he wants to go for a drink or cinema or something after work.

 

[backseatboy]

thanks, joe!

 

[Horschallen]

I think you have the right approach - ask him if he wants to go for a drink or cinema or something after work.

And tip him generously, too.

 

[TX-Beau]

You don't need a second opinion, you need moral support. You already know what to do.

Myself, I almost always opt for the direct approach, saves time angst, and drama; ask him out, make it clear it's a date, then the ball is in his court.

 

[backseatboy]

dang, i forgot about tips! i'll keep you all posted. hopefully i will run into him next week..thanks!

 

[underthebigtop]

Write your phone number down on a piece of paper and hand it to him as you walk out....

 

[backseatboy]

Well. I haven't seen him in a few days but my friend knew of him told me his name..

I found him on Facebook and he had an honesty box. So I kinda anonymously told him that I got good vibes from him. He wrote back flattered and wanted to know who I was.

I'm about to write back, but I just don't know what to say. But, I have this crafted:

I'm ____ _____. You might not remember me but I've seen you off and on for like 2 years at Starbucks and I've always wanted to know who you were. I was talking to my friend about the barista who asked me a trivia question @ the drive-thru and he knew of you, and you had an honesty box, so yeah. Hopefully this isn't entirely too creepy..lol

good, bad?

 

[underthebigtop]

Well. I haven't seen him in a few days but my friend knew of him told me his name..

I found him on Facebook and he had an honesty box. So I kinda anonymously told him that I got good vibes from him. He wrote back flattered and wanted to know who I was.

I'm about to write back, but I just don't know what to say. But, I have this crafted:

I'm ____ _____. You might not remember me but I've seen you off and on for like 2 years at Starbucks and I've always wanted to know who you were. I was talking to my friend about the barista who asked me a trivia question @ the drive-thru and he knew of you, and you had an honesty box, so yeah. Hopefully this isn't entirely too creepy..lol

good, bad?

I would take out the "you might not remember me" part. I think it shows self-doubt about yourself... and instead of "I've always wanted to know who you are" I would say "I've always wanted a chance to get to talk to you/know you" something along those lines... "So yeah" = self doubt again.

Just my thoughts! Good luck!

 

[backseatboy]

aw man, thanks for the response but i already sent it. we are having an honesty box conversation so I guess I didn't do terribly.. We'll see how this turns out.

 

[backseatboy]

I think i lost him :/

He said he also found my missed connections ad on craigslist because he was looking around "for fun" (i forgot i posted it) and that he "appreciated" it. The last time I heard "i appreciate the message" used it meant there was nothing there to pursue... But who really looks on CL for fun, you know?? But, he hasn't written back in almost 24 hours so I don't know what he is thinking.

It would be kinda awkward to run into him again at Starbucks now.. but maybe that is what he is waiting for? I want to remain positive, but the light is dimming :/

 

[amyleeisjesus]

The CL & FB combination may have been a little much. You might be right about him using the "appreciation" as a polite exit. He knows you're interested, so it's up to him now if he wants to reciprocate it. If you don't hear from him I'd leave him alone.

Your initial idea of conversating more with him and feeling him out that way was better. Nerve wracking as it is, you may want to go the more direct route and avoid the CL/FB channels next time. Confidence is always hot. Plus, even with rejection at least you can respect yourself for toughening up and making yourself vulnerable. CL/FB are really the easy way out. And for a (flirty?) barista, no less? Come on, odds were in your favor anyway .

 

[backseatboy]

FlowBot, thanks! I'll try and remain positive. I've been trying to date up and both attempts have kinda ended up like this. Dating down is easy. Amyleeisjesus, this is what I do to my self GRRR! I will one day have the courage to stand up to a guy. I did take the easy way out.

 

[TX-Beau]

What exactly do you mean by dating up or down?

 

[backseatboy]

What exactly do you mean by dating up or down?

I read it in Cosmo all the time. A-lot of gorgeous girls date "down" and date people that they consider less attractive than themselves. They don't date up because they don't have the confidence to secure an interest in someone who they perceive to be hotter than they are.

I'll admit that my past boyfriends I don't consider to be as good looking as I am (I know that sounds really conceited) and I am very afraid to pursue someone who I see as hotter than me because I don't handle rejection well.