I think I have a problem?

[yeeeaaahhh]

So, my friend was telling me about eating disorders, and disordered eating. And I think I have something like disordered eating, which apparently leads into eating disorders and body dysmoprphic disorder and such.

I don't eat very much, because I think I am fat. I am 5'6" and I weight 120 pounds. I've been working out, so my abs are starting to peek out (I just posted some pics on the other forum to show them off... see if they were looking good) but I still feel like I am overweight.

But, I don't think that the anorexic look is hot. Like, I think that showing a little rib is good, but not like where your ribs are sticking out.

And I guess I just feel like my idea that I am fat is being validated by the fact that I can't seem to find anyone who is that interested in me who is 1) my age (I am 20) and 2) is at least built like me.

I guess I just feel all these pressures from everywhere, telling me that I need to be more skinny. And if I don't, then no one who I am attracted to will be interested in me.

But I am afraid that this is dangerous, and that I am going to end up with a full-fleged eating disorder. I already don't eat much. And I have started to enjoy that feeling of being hungry. It makes me feel more sexy. Which probably isn't normal?

I want to be healthy, but I want to be attractive also.

I don't know where one draws that line?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

I just took some pictures so that I could show you how I look right here.

From my perspective I could shed some pounds, but I don't know?

 

[codeerror]

You look great!
No need to lose a pound.

 

[puka-pride]

your really not fat... in any way...

and i will hit you if you say otherwise again

 

[cityboi]

You are not fat at all. I understand where you're coming from because tho I'm taller than you I was once your weight and my build looked like yours. I also thought I was fat. Now several years older I am actually heavier but working at losing the weight. I go to a gym for cardio and weight lifting.

No need for you to lose any weight!

 

[KaraBulut]

To give you a different perspective. Your problem is not fat, your problem is muscle balance. You need to do work on developing your upper body and balancing your upper body to your lower body.

What you're seeing as fat (you're NOT fat, by the way) is actually a more pear-shaped body. If you will eat a more normal diet and really work your arms, chest and shoulders, you'll bring your body into a more V-shaped shape which will look more balanced.

You've got the genetics for a nice upper body- your shoulders have the frame to support mass. But with the way you're focusing on calorie restriction and your abs, you're not taking advantage of the developing your upper body.

 

[martin6]

If you lost another pound, you'd waste away. But please don't, because you look good.

 

[cosmicblue]

Going by the photos above your fine the way you are babe... maybe you lack in self confidence but in the body size and shape your just pretty darn hot the way you are.. Dx

 

[darkscorpion82]

You don't need to loose any more weight. You are very thin as you are. If you loose more weight you will be skinny and that's not good. You look great as you are, so please don't starve yourself.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

To give you a different perspective. Your problem is not fat, your problem is muscle balance. You need to do work on developing your upper body and balancing your upper body to your lower body.

What you're seeing as fat (you're NOT fat, by the way) is actually a more pear-shaped body. If you will eat a more normal diet and really work your arms, chest and shoulders, you'll bring your body into a more V-shaped shape which will look more balanced.

You've got the genetics for a nice upper body- your shoulders have the frame to support mass. But with the way you're focusing on calorie restriction and your abs, you're not taking advantage of the developing your upper body.

Well, how should I go about doing that then? I have dumbells, and I use them every day. Doing flat chest presses and shoulder presses. And I also do a lot of push-ups, crunches, and leg raises.

Is that routine fine? Or should I change it to work out my upper body more?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Also, a few of you guys have said stuff about if I lost more weight I'd be skinny or thin or whatever.

Isn't that what guys like? Thin, defined, sexy guys?

 

[KaraBulut]

Is that routine fine? Or should I change it to work out my upper body more?

Take a look at BHS' thread. He's a good example of a thin guy who went from undereating to a balanced diet combined with a good workout plan. Notice that his plan is rotational- he's doing different body parts on different days. The pictures tell the story.

Also, a few of you guys have said stuff about if I lost more weight I'd be skinny or thin or whatever.
Isn't that what guys like? Thin, defined, sexy guys?

Different guys like different things.

For the most part, guys like guys who take care of themselves- physically and mentally.

What most of us are telling you is that you have a bit of a distorted self-image. Most of us see you as average to slightly skinny.

My comment to you is to find balance- instead of focusing on what you see as "fat", instead focus on getting more balance by strengthening and toning your upper body. And to do that, you've going to have to find a happy medium with your diet.

 

[lyconthrope]

120lbs?!

jeez dude, in my language that makes you 8.5 stone, which would actually you put you close to being underweight for your height.

i would say firstly, as everyone else has pointed out, YOUR NOT FAT!

secondly, you might have a weeny self image problem (anyone who looks like you who looks in a mirror and thinks "i am fat" must have one)

oh, and there is a differance between "Thin, defined, sexy guys?" (the word normally used is slim though) and being dangerously close to damaging your health.

you need to focus on what YOU want yourself to look like, and not how you think others want to see you

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Take a look at BHS' thread. He's a good example of a thin guy who went from undereating to a balanced diet combined with a good workout plan. Notice that his plan is rotational- he's doing different body parts on different days. The pictures tell the story.




Different guys like different things.

For the most part, guys like guys who take care of themselves- physically and mentally.

What most of us are telling you is that you have a bit of a distorted self-image. Most of us see you as average to slightly skinny.

My comment to you is to find balance- instead of focusing on what you see as "fat", instead focus on getting more balance by strengthening and toning your upper body. And to do that, you've going to have to find a happy medium with your diet.

Hmm, very nice. I don't want to look THAT muscly. I tend to think that guys who are slim and defined, not bulky are really hot. That is how I want to look.
I guess I feel kinda lost still though, because, I am a college student, going to a really expensive school.
I don't have the money for a personal trainer, or a gym membership. I have dumbbells. I use those, I do push-ups, I do crunches.

I guess I just feel like I don't have the resources to be more muscled, so being thin is my only option.

IDK?

 

[versatastic]

Who is telling you to be skinnier than you already are??

Anyway, since you don't really want to bulk up you don't really need a gym at all, just some dedication to keep working out. You can do a lot with just your dumbells, pushups, and crunches, and a little creativity for more specific exercises.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Who is telling you to be skinnier than you already are??

Anyway, since you don't really want to bulk up you don't really need a gym at all, just some dedication to keep working out. You can do a lot with just your dumbells, pushups, and crunches, and a little creativity for more specific exercises.

Hmm. Okay. Well, I do about about 3 sets of 10 or 15 crunches and push-ups about once or twice a day. And then I do 3 sets of 10 or 15 crunches, chest presses, leg raises, and shoulder presses. And I do that once or twice a day also.
And then probably once a day I'll just go do as many crunches and push-ups as I can.

Does that sound like a good routine for becoming more defined? Especially in my upper body?

 

[versatastic]

Hmm. Okay. Well, I do about about 3 sets of 10 or 15 crunches and push-ups about once or twice a day. And then I do 3 sets of 10 or 15 crunches, chest presses, leg raises, and shoulder presses. And I do that once or twice a day also.
And then probably once a day I'll just go do as many crunches and push-ups as I can.

Does that sound like a good routine for becoming more defined? Especially in my upper body?

That's a very good start. How much do your dumbells weigh? You should also try to increase the number of reps per set that you do of push ups and crunches. Also, you can try different grips or hand positions for the pushups, i.e. widen out the distance between your hands or narrow them. There's several different variations for crunches ass well. For shoulders, you can add some lateral and front raises with the dumbbells either with straight arms or slightly bent if the weight is too much. Other good ones are upright rows, bent rows, calf raises, deadlifts, different triceps, squats, and lunge exercises. You don't have to do them all and make a huge workout out of them until you get a lot stronger and you might want to do them all. Just do different things every now and then for each muscle group to get some variety and be more well rounded in your toning.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

You're not fat, just baby fat.

Try and build more muscles upper body. That is what you're lacking, thus creating the illusion of fatness around the waist.

If you have a great upper body, bigger arms and chest, more of a V-shaped, the waist will look tiny and small.

Your body lacks definition and tone, it is not fat and you shouldn't lose any weight. In fact, put on a few more pounds and work that upper body.

Remember... weight loss = muscle loss...

You want more muscles, you need to gain more weight.

Unless you're someone like me, who constantly uses my upper body and arms (I'm a massage therapist)... I weigh around the same 120 lbs, but my body is toned with lots of definitions...and that is what you're lacking...

You need to lift weights to achieve such effects.

 

[JayTen]

Okay im going to be completely honest with you, one of you're first signs of anorexia is you're development of an hour glass figure....thats not what you want as a man, thats more likely for what a woman would aim for...but what you want is a figure that gets wider as it nears you're head, then smaller as it gets to you're waist and then legs. (note) muscle mass has pretty much nothing to do with it, thats just extra for people who want it.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Other good ones are upright rows, bent rows, calf raises, deadlifts, different triceps, squats, and lunge exercises.

Okay. Well..... I only know what a few of those exercises are :/
So, I am not sure that that helps me much.

Try and build more muscles upper body. That is what you're lacking, thus creating the illusion of fatness around the waist.

If you have a great upper body, bigger arms and chest, more of a V-shaped, the waist will look tiny and small.

Your body lacks definition and tone, it is not fat and you shouldn't lose any weight. In fact, put on a few more pounds and work that upper body.

Okay, so how do I achieve definition and tone and that wonderful V-shape specifically?
Should I just stick to my push-ups, crunches, and leg-raises?

(note) muscle mass has pretty much nothing to do with it, thats just extra for people who want it.

Okay. How do you have definition and a good shape without having muscle mass?


What I really want is a slim body, a good shape, but I don't want to be a muscle head. I'd love to have abs that are defined, but not abs that are like super intense (body-builder style). And I love to have some nice pecs that look sexy and kinda stick out, but not like straight up man boobs.
And I have no idea how to achieve that?

I wish I could afford a personal trainer, lol.