TheLoveableLoner
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There's a lot of snarky asshole responses in this thread, and for what? The OP sons like such a nice guy and going through a tough time. Be nice, people!
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I think i just ruined the best thing I've ever had
- Thread starter Danny
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mcbrion
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That is hardly "the truth, NRG." It's mostly the truth from people with not so great childhoods.
The truth is that many people choose someone not based, as Martin Luther King, Jr said, on the content of his character, but because of something that reminds them of one of their parents. It's called the Imago. And frequently, we haven't recognized that we are re-creating lose-lose scenarios based on what we didn't get growing up (which feels normal).
Healthy relationships are great. But it's clear that some of us haven't reached a state of consciousness where we realize how to choose the good guy.
Danny, at two months, you don't know someone. You're in the "I'm-in-Love" state of mind, which is also sometimes the I'm-in-love-with-the-IDEA that I've found the right person and you stop being observant. Many of the unhappy responses come from those who stopped paying attention to someone's behavior (such as the wife who realizes her husband likes men, not women. The signs were there, but she was too invested in it working to let Life show her it wasn't really working unless she forced the square peg to fit into the round hole).
You did nothing wrong and ignore the "relationships are nothing but poison" comment. That sounds like the comment of someone whose growing up wasn't happy or stable. We go thru life - if we're smart - using each experience to teach us more about ourselves. The problem is NEVER the other person: it's us. We either don't really know what love looks like, or we just want to "have" love, or we're lonely, or_________ (fill in the blanks). I'm sorry this happened to you.
The truth is that many people choose someone not based, as Martin Luther King, Jr said, on the content of his character, but because of something that reminds them of one of their parents. It's called the Imago. And frequently, we haven't recognized that we are re-creating lose-lose scenarios based on what we didn't get growing up (which feels normal).
Healthy relationships are great. But it's clear that some of us haven't reached a state of consciousness where we realize how to choose the good guy.
Danny, at two months, you don't know someone. You're in the "I'm-in-Love" state of mind, which is also sometimes the I'm-in-love-with-the-IDEA that I've found the right person and you stop being observant. Many of the unhappy responses come from those who stopped paying attention to someone's behavior (such as the wife who realizes her husband likes men, not women. The signs were there, but she was too invested in it working to let Life show her it wasn't really working unless she forced the square peg to fit into the round hole).
You did nothing wrong and ignore the "relationships are nothing but poison" comment. That sounds like the comment of someone whose growing up wasn't happy or stable. We go thru life - if we're smart - using each experience to teach us more about ourselves. The problem is NEVER the other person: it's us. We either don't really know what love looks like, or we just want to "have" love, or we're lonely, or_________ (fill in the blanks). I'm sorry this happened to you.