I think I messed things up

[hanzosword]

This is a long complicated story, but I think I'll feel better at least writing it down because I have nobody to tell it to...


I started chatting online with a guy from a4a who lives about 30 minutes from me. At first I thought he just wanted sex but he recently told me he wants a relationship too. He is 23 and I'm 27 and he's slim, cute and athletic, not out.

We talked on the phone for the first time recently and we got to know each other a little and he is a really nice guy and I think he could make a great boyfriend if we clicked and everything. He's been trying to meet me for a while now so I finally went to meet him yesterday and I didn't know exactly where his house was but I knew the street. So I went to a Mcdonalds and called him to meet me there so I could follow him to his house.

Then he said he had to drop someone off at work, and he asked me to give him some time so I said ok. I waited for over an hour so I thought he was flaking on me. While I waited though, some strange guy started texting me like he knew me, sending me a pic of his face and pic of his dick. I didn't recognize the guy and I asked over and over how he got my number. This guy said I gave it to him from another gay site, but I was sure I didn't.

The strange guy said he was in the same town I was in at the time and said he saw me there on the same street where I was waiting for my guy. He said he knew what I looked like, even though I never saw him before. The strange guy also had the same area code which was in another state, same area code as the guy I was meeting. This creeped me out and made me very nervous.

I couldn't figure out what was going on so after over an hour of waiting I told my guy I was leaving. I also asked him if he knew this guy who was texting me who knew where I was and how I looked. My guy said he didn't have a clue. He took so long because the person he was dropping off worked out of town and it was raining pretty hard. He asked me to give him some time to get there. I decided to leave anyway because I was creeped out too much. I didn't know if him and the strange guy knew each other or what. There was no way that guy could have spotted me out in my car in the rain like that, even if he knew my face.

I don't know if that made any sense lol, but I think I might have messed things up with a good, really sexy guy. We exchanged a ton of texts yesterday and I apologized to him, but now I'm afraid he won't talk to me anymore or give it another shot . That whole thing yesterday reminded me of some kind of suspense/thriller movie where somebody (me) was gonna be abducted or something lol.

 

[altlover85]

I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't give this guy a second chance if I were you. The whole thing sounded really strange.

I started chatting online with a guy from a4a who lives about 30 minutes from me. At first I thought he just wanted sex but he recently told me he wants a relationship too. He is 23 and I'm 27 and he's slim, cute and athletic, not out.

We talked on the phone for the first time recently and we got to know each other a little and he is a really nice guy and I think he could make a great boyfriend if we clicked and everything.

I don't know if that made any sense lol, but I think I might have messed things up with a good, really sexy guy. We exchanged a ton of texts yesterday and I apologized to him, but now I'm afraid he won't talk to me anymore or give it another shot . That whole thing yesterday reminded me of some kind of suspense/thriller movie where somebody (me) was gonna be abducted or something lol.

I'm not sure how he would be boyfriend material if he's not out. Why waste your time with a closeted guy, when you could be with someone who is out? If you aren't out of the closet maybe he could help you become more comfortable with coming out.

I really see almost no advantages to dating closeted guys.

Anyway, good luck and I'm glad you trusted your instincts.

 

[syoBsUtsuJ]

Rings too loudly of "Matthew Sheppard" for my tastes.

 

[pat grimshaw]

??
Was it a coincidence or are the two men linked to each other?

 

[Glafna]

All I can say is be careful. Stick with meeting them in public places if you do want to meet them. Don't go anywhere private with them like a house, until you've met them a few times, and it's been a good period of time. Also, ignore the 'other guy', Block his number.

The situation sounds fishy, but it may just be a coincidence.

 

[paatreides]

Glad to hear you listened to your gut instinct and left!

I wouldn't be willing to meet that guy anywhere - even in a crowded MickeyD's, let alone follow him to his house, or hotel, or whereever the fuck this dude had planned.

You say he's cute, slim, ect, etc... How do you know - from him putting some kind of "stats" on a web site or in an email?

Steer clear of anyone playing these kinds of games.

If he was an honest (closeted) guy, wanting to begin a relationship, you wouldn't have been apologizing to him, and he would've immediately told you he couldn't make it and asked to re-schedule.

Please be more careful in hooking up with guys on the internet!

 

[altlover85]

I'm not sure how he would be boyfriend material if he's not out. Why waste your time with a closeted guy, when you could be with someone who is out? If you aren't out of the closet maybe he could help you become more comfortable with coming out.

I meant maybe dating a guy that's not in the closet could help you with coming out because that guy has been through being closeted and might be able to help you become more comfortable.

 

[hanzosword]

I think you did the right thing. I wouldn't give this guy a second chance if I were you. The whole thing sounded really strange.



I'm not sure how he would be boyfriend material if he's not out. Why waste your time with a closeted guy, when you could be with someone who is out? If you aren't out of the closet maybe he could help you become more comfortable with coming out.

I really see almost no advantages to dating closeted guys.

Anyway, good luck and I'm glad you trusted your instincts.

Thanks altlover85. I hope I did the right thing. Better safe than sorry. We are both not out, but I'm not planning on staying in the closet forever. I'm not sure what his reasons are but I think it could work if people just thought we were friends. I'm living with family right now and it would be too uncomfortable for me.

 

[hanzosword]

??
Was it a coincidence or are the two men linked to each other?

I still don't know for sure. I questioned them both and can't get any answers. The stranger who texted me says I gave him my number after talking to him on another gay website, but I'm positive that didn't happen. I guess it will remain a mystery.

 

[hanzosword]

All I can say is be careful. Stick with meeting them in public places if you do want to meet them. Don't go anywhere private with them like a house, until you've met them a few times, and it's been a good period of time. Also, ignore the 'other guy', Block his number.

The situation sounds fishy, but it may just be a coincidence.

Yeah we were gonna meet at the Mcdonalds and I planned to get out of the car to have a good look at him to be sure. Then I was gonna follow him to his house, but he took so long getting back from dropping off his relative that he asked me to just go to his house. At that point I decided to just leave. He got kind of upset but oh well.

It's just seems like such a rare thing to meet anybody around my small town who is actually attractive to me lol. The guy I was gonna meet hasn't responded to me since yesterday so I'm sure he thinks I'm pretty crazy if he is innocent. I'll find somebody else one day I guess...

 

[hanzosword]

Glad to hear you listened to your gut instinct and left!

I wouldn't be willing to meet that guy anywhere - even in a crowded MickeyD's, let alone follow him to his house, or hotel, or whereever the fuck this dude had planned.

You say he's cute, slim, ect, etc... How do you know - from him putting some kind of "stats" on a web site or in an email?

Steer clear of anyone playing these kinds of games.

If he was an honest (closeted) guy, wanting to begin a relationship, you wouldn't have been apologizing to him, and he would've immediately told you he couldn't make it and asked to re-schedule.

Please be more careful in hooking up with guys on the internet!

Thanks and I agree. The ideal situation would be to meet somebody in person so there is no mystery about what they look like and stuff, but I can barely get out of the house, until I get a new car, so I'll make sure to be extra careful.

I did ask the guy to send me a picture of himself to my phone and he never did so who knows who he really is. The guy in the pictures was hot though lol.

 

[looseliam]

Mom always says, "that little voice inside you is there for a reason." I never told her about the other voices...

I would have done the same thing. When in doubt, there is no doubt.

 

[altlover85]

Thanks and I agree. The ideal situation would be to meet somebody in person so there is no mystery about what they look like and stuff, but I can barely get out of the house, until I get a new car, so I'll make sure to be extra careful.

I did ask the guy to send me a picture of himself to my phone and he never did so who knows who he really is. The guy in the pictures was hot though lol.

No picture, no meetup. It's safer that way.

As to you still being closeted, do you have plans for moving out at some point in the future?

 

[hanzosword]

No picture, no meetup. It's safer that way.

As to you still being closeted, do you have plans for moving out at some point in the future?

He did have pictures up on a4a. I could see his face and everything. I just wanted another one sent to my phone to be sure. I actually found his myspace page and what he told me about himself seemed to be true.

I have no shame abut my being gay but I do plan on moving by this summer. Once I move I will definitely be open about it, especially once I get serious with a guy. I liked the guy I was gonna meet so much that I wanted to out myself and tell a few people about him lol. So I believe I will naturally tell people about someone I'm in a relationship with once I move.

 

[CHUCK905]

hanzosword: You sound like a very sweet and trusting but totally naive 27 y/o. First he had you waiting for over an hour in a McD's and didn't even call to say he was going to be longer, you called and you think you should apologize. Then the bizniz with the other "coincidental" texter.

If he's not a psycho-killer (probably not, but who knows) he's def inconsiderate and rude and no matter how slim and cute he is that does not spell good BF material.

 

[hanzosword]

hanzosword: You sound like a very sweet and trusting but totally naive 27 y/o. First he had you waiting for over an hour in a McD's and didn't even call to say he was going to be longer, you called and you think you should apologize. Then the bizniz with the other "coincidental" texter.

If he's not a psycho-killer (probably not, but who knows) he's def inconsiderate and rude and no matter how slim and cute he is that does not spell good BF material.

Thanks for the compliment and maybe I am a little naive, but it's not to meet people in the small town I live in and I'm just recently became comfortable with my sexuality. He did text me regularly to let me know that he was gonna be late and asked for me to give him some time. He didn't tell me at first that he was taking his relative out of town to work, so I guess he's not that bad of a guy.

I'm a nice guy, but not too nice lol. That's why I left even after he asked me to wait a while longer on him and asked me to just go to his house.

 

[hanzosword]

maybe he gave you fake pictures and the second guy was really "him," but with his real pics... trying to like create an elaborate scenario to explain away using fake pics ("well, my hot A4A guy can't make it, I may as well meet up with this ok-looking guy that just texted me")

You know, I never thought of that. That is a sick thing to do. Somebody tried that with me before but it all happened online. I can't believe the lengths people will go with their lies . Would somebody really go so far as to use 2 different numbers like that?

 

[altlover85]

Would somebody really go so far as to use 2 different numbers like that?

Yes. Someone would do that.

People can be jerks.

 

[backpacker]

maybe he gave you fake pictures and the second guy was really "him," but with his real pics... trying to like create an elaborate scenario to explain away using fake pics ("well, my hot A4A guy can't make it, I may as well meet up with this ok-looking guy that just texted me")

Bingo! We have a winner!

 

[Seasoned]

Instincts kick in for a reason. You absolutely did the right thing. Move on and keep to public venues.