i think i was raped...confused?

[The_Reaper]

I'd say that constitutes rape where I'm from...

Of course, there's a number of things to do now from your standpoint. You can seek legal action against him, which could be a problem if you're 'not out' and ready to come out, considering the way things had happened.

Or of course, you can just move on, which is easier said than done I suppose.

There's also option C, which is destroy the hell of the guy online by making sure everyone knows exactly what he is like and what he did, so that other guys just starting out there on the 'scene' don't have to experience what you did.

What he did was wrong, and that's not up for debate. So, it's up to you what to do next.

 

[silentalk]

That A******, the Son of *************,**************,**************.


Sorry, but I've never been this angry for sometime. And I was in a good mood today.

I think you should go to the police. DO NOT HESITATE! You should do it or he might just do it to someone else again... and again... and again! And he threw you out of the house??? Man, you should not accept that. He used you and you shouldn't accept being used. Go to the police, or at least tell someone who cares about you and would tell the police!

I'm sorry I sound bossy, I don't mean to.

And how are you feeling now? Are you okay? We're here for any kind of support you need!

 

[bokan800]

last night i finally met someone i had been talking to online for about three months. i was a virgin to anything with guys and he knew this. he picked me up from my rents house around 11 o'clock and took me back to his place. on the way over he could tell i was really nervous and he was rubbing my thigh and moving his hand over the junk. we got to his place and he sat down on his sofa and had me sit beside him. there was a porn playing on the tv. he continued to rub my thighs and moved his hand up to my stomach and put his hands down my pants. i was really nervous and just let him do what he was doing. after about twenty minutes he took my hand and put it on top of his bulge and i started to rub it. next thing i knew he had his hands around my head and he was pushing me down onto his dick. i didn't know what to do so i just went along with it. after about ten minutes of that he got up and took my hand and took me to his room. he threw me on the bed and yanked my shorts down and flipped me over and started to play with my ass. he turned me back over on my back and lifted my legs and put them around his waist. he bent over me and started to kiss me and he tried to enter me. i told him it really hurt and he just pushed me down further into the bed and shoved it all in. i was in some serious pain and begged him to stop but he wouldnt. i tried to get away but he had my arms pinned and i was crying and he just told me to deal with it. after a few minutes i stopped fighting and just let him do it. he is 28 years old. a part of me felt like i deserved it. about fifteen minutes later he pulled out and nutted on my face. he literally picked me up and threw my ass out the door and told me to leave.

i'm so conflicted right now. i'm not sure what happened, i don't know if i asked for it and part of my enjoyed it i think. it's twisted. i feel so fucked up.

Bolded part = coercion to me.

The fact the he just threw you out after he "used" you makes it what it is...rape. What an ass-hole

I feel bad for you, there are definitely guys who just want to take advantages of vulnerable, young guys. You didn't deserve what happened to you and don't think otherwise.

Please be careful next time.
And Welcome to JUB!

 

[Zeremonie]

In my definition, that's rape. I wouldn't just hope to deal with this alone. Talk to someone you really really trust and/or a counselor. And I'd report it to the police too. I don't know anything about Anchorage, but at least here in Seattle, that would be taken very seriously.

 

[justjoshoh]

a part of me felt like i deserved it. about fifteen minutes later he pulled out and nutted on my face. he literally picked me up and threw my ass out the door and told me to leave.

i'm so conflicted right now. i'm not sure what happened, i don't know if i asked for it and part of my enjoyed it i think. it's twisted. i feel so fucked up.

You did not deserve it. As the others are pointing out, it is rape. Please seek the help that you do deserve. The police needs to know, so it doesn't happen to another person. You need to make sure that you are taken care of, both physically and mentally. Rape is an emotionally draining experience. It takes help to get through it. Seek the assistance of a rape hotline. There are hotlines that specialize in male to male assualt.

 

[Telstra]

last night i finally met someone i had been talking to online for about three months. i was a virgin to anything with guys and he knew this. he picked me up from my rents house around 11 o'clock and took me back to his place. on the way over he could tell i was really nervous and he was rubbing my thigh and moving his hand over the junk. we got to his place and he sat down on his sofa and had me sit beside him. there was a porn playing on the tv. he continued to rub my thighs and moved his hand up to my stomach and put his hands down my pants. i was really nervous and just let him do what he was doing. after about twenty minutes he took my hand and put it on top of his bulge and i started to rub it. next thing i knew he had his hands around my head and he was pushing me down onto his dick. i didn't know what to do so i just went along with it. after about ten minutes of that he got up and took my hand and took me to his room. he threw me on the bed and yanked my shorts down and flipped me over and started to play with my ass. he turned me back over on my back and lifted my legs and put them around his waist. he bent over me and started to kiss me and he tried to enter me. i told him it really hurt and he just pushed me down further into the bed and shoved it all in. i was in some serious pain and begged him to stop but he wouldnt. i tried to get away but he had my arms pinned and i was crying and he just told me to deal with it. after a few minutes i stopped fighting and just let him do it. he is 28 years old. a part of me felt like i deserved it. about fifteen minutes later he pulled out and nutted on my face. he literally picked me up and threw my ass out the door and told me to leave.

i'm so conflicted right now. i'm not sure what happened, i don't know if i asked for it and part of my enjoyed it i think. it's twisted. i feel so fucked up.

i think that guy will be trouble if people know this.

No means no and stop means stop.
So he was in the wrong.

 

[beatleshead]

CALL THE AUTHORITIES NOW. The more you wait the less they will be able to prove. and you did not deserve it.

 

[wastingmymind]

Don't wanna be whistling another tune here. Of course it's rape. I'm pretty sure I may have experienced that kind of aggression before. But again, as much as it is rape, a small percentage of tops are just stupid like that and they don't know the breaking point.

 

[Telstra]

thanks to everyone that responded...it meant a lot. i'll try to address the questions in this post.

i don't think i'm quite at the level of being comfortable with my sexuality yet. i feel mad guilty and ashamed after i j/o thinking of dudes (probably a catholic thing). i'm pretty much comfortable with myself, it's a day by day process. depression for me involves a crappy childhood and a pretty fucked up teenage family life but i try not to let it get me down but there are days when that just doesn't work.

thanks again for the people that responded. the clarity was helpful.

learn to not feeling guilty after jerking off.
my logic is, if it does hurt or affect anyone there is no guilt.

 

[tigerfan]

Sorry to hear this happenned. The guy is a dirt bag, No need to justify any of it, If you asked him to stop he should have stopped no "ifs" "ands" or "buts"

It is rape. Somebody needs to kick his butt,

Sorry guys, shit like this pisses me off. Role playing is one thing but taking advantage is a whole different story.

 

[glo-unit]

Pretty sound advice coming overall coming from the board. I just wanted to add that you are a young male and your body responds to stimulation, so definitely could have gotten an erection or had an organism. That doesn't change that you told him to stop and he didn't so to almost anyone it would be rape, and it isn't something to be ashamed of.

 

[Spazz04]

Difinately rape, you deserve much better.
well hey you seem nice. If you ever want a friend wing man someone to go kick that assholes door down... anything really just give me a ring, im serious too.

I live in Wasilla and in the process of moving back into Anchorage (Sand Lake area)

~Kyle

 

[AdmiraalW238]

Without question you "...begged him to stop but he wouldn't" the fact that the A***Hole did not stop constitutes rape.

You have his details and you should report it to the local authorities.

My other concern is that you did not mention if he was wearing a condom. If he was not wearing a condom then I would be getting a sexual health screen.

If you 'met' this person through an online 'dating' sight I would also be posting a message warning people that this is what the guy did to you.

Do not think that just because you got an erection or orgasmed means nothing...when 'stimulated' your body has a mind of its own and will get erect...but that does not mean that you 'deserved' to be raped...whether they are male, female, gay or straight. Rape is a crime no matter how you look at it...and NO MEANS NO.

Report the scum bag to the appropriate authorities and you have are full support in whatever you decide to do and we will always be here for you.

You are an important part of the JUB family and we jubbers will be hear for you.

 

[gotdimples77]

wow...im really impressed that you guys all think this is rape. I think it is as well. Unfotunately I think a lot of guys first times are like this. I do think its horrible. I have had similar experiences, although not so bad I guess. I think it is more important for you to know that not all of your gay relationships will or need to be like this. there are decent wonderful and loving men out there...although you really have to look for them sometimes. should he have stopped when you asked him to? definitely! But there are guys out there who wont and you have to watch out for them. Stay strong, report it if you can, flaming him online isnt a bad idea either but dont open yourself to some kind of counter suite. And remember that there are good men out there. Dont let this horrible experience ruin life for you, but do let it teach you to watch your back and appreciate your own wants and needs...they are extremely important even if you dont know exactly what they are. they can take time to formulate for yourself, and for some people they take a lot of experimenting. But remember you are a human being with rights and values that are very important just by virtue of who you are.

 

[Seasoned]

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. Let's address all the issues. Of course it's rape. At the least get some therapy and report the crime if you have the courage. There is inherent danger of being alone with strangers. Please meet on-line buddies in nuetral territory under you own transportation and tell at least one other person what you are doing. Please take care of yourself. Get help and stay safe!

 

[Lube]

I don't know if I'd call it rape. It sure sounds like you wanted to see what would happen.

He's definitely an asshole, that's for sure.

You chatted for 3 months? Doesn't sound like an asshole like that would spend the time to chat for 3 months. Just sounds suspicious.

 

[threetimes]

i am sorry to that you have to go through this. it is not your fault.

 

[theblackajah]

To all Savage Love readers out there...

Haven't we learned a thing or two about sniffing these out?

But suspending disbelief, there is only one reply: call the authorities.

 

[ejbonk]

[F]last night i finally met someone i had been talking to online for about three months. i was a virgin to anything with guys and he knew this. he picked me up from my rents house around 11 o'clock and took me back to his place. on the way over he could tell i was really nervous and he was rubbing my thigh and moving his hand over the junk. we got to his place and he sat down on his sofa and had me sit beside him. there was a porn playing on the tv. he continued to rub my thighs and moved his hand up to my stomach and put his hands down my pants. i was really nervous and just let him do what he was doing. after about twenty minutes he took my hand and put it on top of his bulge and i started to rub it. next thing i knew he had his hands around my head and he was pushing me down onto his dick. i didn't know what to do so i just went along with it. after about ten minutes of that he got up and took my hand and took me to his room. he threw me on the bed and yanked my shorts down and flipped me over and started to play with my ass. he turned me back over on my back and lifted my legs and put them around his waist. he bent over me and started to kiss me and he tried to enter me. i told him it really hurt and he just pushed me down further into the bed and shoved it all in. i was in some serious pain and begged him to stop but he wouldnt. i tried to get away but he had my arms pinned and i was crying and he just told me to deal with it. after a few minutes i stopped fighting and just let him do it. he is 28 years old. a part of me felt like i deserved it. about fifteen minutes later he pulled out and nutted on my face. he literally picked me up and threw my ass out the door and told me to leave.

i'm so conflicted right now. i'm not sure what happened, i don't know if i asked for it and part of my enjoyed it i think. it's twisted. i feel so fucked up. [/FONT]

Oh.My Dear Sweet Boy. You Were RAPED!!!!!This Jerk just to advantage of you and raped your inexperienced Body. I feel so,so sorry for you and want to hold you till the hurt,pain and humiliation goes away.

You better get to the Health Department and get tested for all STD's.

I bet your not the first guy,he's done this horrible thing to.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Yes, you were raped.

Please file a report to have this man arrested. I know it may make you feel uncomfortable but you must do this. He will do this again, to other guys. Don't let someone else be his next victim. If not for yourself, do it for the next guy who will be in the same position as you were. Don't let them go through what you did! Please, call the police and file a report.