I Think I'm Asexual

[HappySmiles]

Well I don't know but I find myself not wanting to have sex as much as my friends. I am a young guy(22 yrs)and the desire is just not there.

Well, I really enjoy masturbating so I have desire for that. I very much enjoy foreplay/making out but when it comes down to the actual act I tend to just lose interest. I am usually a bottom and have only been "fucked" by 3 guys. I put "" around the fucked because I have never actually been penetrated hard. I just cannot deal with the pain and the overall feeling. I've never tried being a top but I have been told that I should since I have a big guy down there. However, I don't really see myself as top and well I usually find myself with 100% top guys.

The thing is that deep inside, I really want to be that power-bottom lol Like, I see the movies and I want to be that guy but I cant find myself doing it.

When it comes to oral sex, I enjoy receiving it only if the guy knows what he is doing. When it comes to giving it, I have to be really into you to actually make me want to enjoy it. Other than that, its not my thing.

So either I am asexual, or I havent found the "right guy" I just feel so silly when I have to stop and tell the guy to leave me alone because I cant continue. It really has ruined all my relationships and what not. Not to mention that I feel like a complete fool.

 

[BiteMe]

I understand where you're coming from. When it comes down to it, sometimes sex isn't that amazing. In my experience sex has only been fulfilling when I have an emotional connection with my partner. I've had many one night stands and halfway trough most of them, I get bored and question why I'm letting some guy stick it in me. Don't worry about not enjoying sex, because I know it's bothered me in the past. You're still young, actually older than me, and it's too early to be worrying about what you're doing right and wrong.

 

[tipmyscales86]

My advice would be to find a smaller guy size wise. The first guy I ever took it from was huge, a good 9 inches or so. That hurt. My first real boyfriend was smaller, about 6 inches, and the sex went a lot smoother. If you are going to be with a big guy, I would suggest practicing with dildos to get yourself more used to it, and use a ton of lube.

 

[altlover85]

I don't think you're asexual. It may just be you haven't found the right guy yet.

 

[Shygui]

I'd second altlover...just find someone special. It's easy to get the sex right if you've got the right guy.

 

[dkj32224]

Wow, you are exactly like me man. I was actually just thinking the same thing a couple of days ago. I was thinking about becomimg celibate because I just haven't found bottoming to be all that enjoyable and I don't really want to top. Glad you asked that question!!

 

[kallipolis]

You cannot be asexual when you are engaging in sexual relations, be it that your sexual experiences are unsatisfying, even unappealing.

Attempting to fit into the gay stereotype, so as to satisfy expectations that are not yours, can confuse those who believe that they need to be another, other than who they are.

Be your self through the experience of finding out what will satisfy you, rather than attempting emulate those who appeal to your sense of who you believe you should be.

The process of self discovery predictable takes a life time.
Any thought that you can short circuit the process will inevitably reward you with frustration, and confusion.

Our satisfaction comes with trying to better the person we were yesterday.

 

[altlover85]

When I was younger, bottoming just wasn't possible.

Because you were married or for some other reason?

 

[Infimum]

I can personally identify with these feelings, to a degree. I don't think I myself have felt this way to the extent you are feeling them but I think a lot of what's going on is that, as some guys already mentioned, you haven't found the right one. And/or, maybe you don't know the blueprints of your pleasures just yet.

In today's culture and media, young people are often shown (and probably expected) to be hyper-sexual beings who perform at pornographic levels ... and have the vids, pics, blogs, and tweets to prove it. But the truth is that sex isn't as cookie-cutter, or even as desired, as you've witnessed.

It's possible that 'vanilla' sex isn't your cup of tea. Perhaps you need to find alternative sexual acts, like frotting, docking, toys, and so forth. Just because getting jack hammered isn't what turns you on doesn't mean that something is wrong with you.

I believe that you may need to discover what your pleasures are first. It will be quite difficult to find a guy who is willing to omit certain sexual acts so your best bet is to try to compromise at least, but the more you come to understand yourself and your pleasures the better you'll become at finding men that can satisfy your appetite.

 

[Chibix]

Hello there, I have to say I'm feeling the same way. I recently had a sexual encounter, though not much (not penetrated), and I felt nothing. There was just no passion or emotion to it. I did feel the physical bodily responses, but the mental blockade I had put up just made it awkward. Afterward, I was seriously asking myself if I was asexual as well. However, I believe that I didn't find someone "right." Things just went too fast for me to know how to feel. Perhaps I'm old fashioned and casual sex isn't for me? I haven't actually bottomed yet, but I hold the same views. I'd like to make it enjoyable for me, like in the glorious pornos. Maybe to enjoy the sex, you'd have to genuinely like the person? haha

 

[lyudi-invalidy]

the majority of tops are terrible, or are more intent on pleasing themselves than the person they're with.

only bottom if they're willing to eat you out for ages. that generally gets things going in the right direction.

otherwise tell them to fuck off and play with a fleshlight, because you'd rather be doing something more pleasurable such as washing the dishes..

 

[HappySmiles]

Thanks for the advice guys lol

I just have a thing that I am not a one night stander and sorta have to feel more before giving myself away. My friends say thats a big no no and thats why I'm single so they literally gave me a gift that said "get to know yourself" which was a sex toy lol

About two weeks ago I met this guy and I liked him but I couldnt bare myself to go all the way because I knew that I was going to end with me telling him to stop. I still sort of like him but I guess I blew it so it is what it is !!