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I think im *OK* with being alone

L

LostVegas

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Do not get the title of the thread wrong.

I am NOT adamant about being alone nor is it my wish. In fact I am quite open to the right guy coming along.

But I am ok with being alone. I have been alone my whole life, it is kind of what I am used to.

Now also do not mistake me. I am not depressed. I am not down on meeting anyone I am open to it. But I think it is quite healthy for anyone, in a relationship or not, to be OK with being alone...being with themselves.

I like to travel and I like hanging out at home. I am happy with the money I make and the future that is ahead for me financially.

I read an article recently by Diane Keaton on how she is so very much happy being by herself and alone and with no man. Halle Berry said on Oprah that she really doesnt care too much abou being with a man and that she will just ask a man, when she turned 40, to father her baby and that she would sign a document saying she would not come after him for one cent.

I go to the movie theater by myself sometimes and even out to eat and to travel. I mention this to family and friends and they think it is so odd. And I have to wonder why? Why does society frown upon that?

I am totally ok with having no kids, I 99% do not want any. So there is no incessant calling to be a dad.

Joy Behar from the VIEW(divorced but seeing someone) said the key to her happiness with this guy is NOT to get married again and to have SPACE...That they live in different places and that seems to help alot.

I would be really happy spending money to travel the world and the U.S. in my years to come. I actively am starting to take part in organizations that help abused and neglected animals and homeless people, so that makes me feel great.


So guys how about it? Are there other SINGLE guys out there who are ok with being alone? Are there any COUPLED guys out there who are in a relationship but really enjoy their space?

BRIAN

P.S.-Sorry if this post is meandering, just wanted to type what was on my mind.
 
Yay.

The best company you ever dine with should be when you eat alone.

Okay, maybe you should have a cat or two and/or a dog as well.

Being at peace with yourself is a great thing and there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

Hope your new year is going great so far.
 
Before I met my partner of 10-years I lived alone and was comfortable with it. I went on trips by myself because I couldn't find travelling companions who shared the same interest. I dated but didn't find anyone I could see myself being with for an extended period of time. I decided I'd be just fine if I was alone forever. I had friends, family and volunteer activities that kept me busy and made me feel needed

Of course this all changed when The Boy and I got together but I still enjoy and look forward to time by myself
 
You sound comfortable in your own company. And that kicks ass - it means you like you. And it's surprising how often that leads to other people liking you, too.

Lex
 
While I'm not one of the guys, I hope you don't mind my chiming in here.

I also do many things on my own. At first it was difficult, but I decided I didn't want to miss opportunities to try new restaurants or see a movie because friends weren't able to or available to.

The more I go out I see many others doing the same thing. It makes it feel less odd.

As rareboy states there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. Keep doing what you are doing and make no excuses for it.
 
"Peace at home, peace in the World"

I think it went... wonder if that is any relevant here...
 
Well it sounds like you have learned to just enjoy being you. Not a thing wrong with that...it's my current project..:-)
 
IMHO, it is a good thing to not mind spending sometime by yourself. I have met people that must be around people or they lose their mind. Although it may be a good thing to be alone, it is important to not become anti-social.

I am in a similar situation. Will I find someone eventually? I'd like to believe so but as of now, I am enjoying being single.
 
Ditto. I've always traveled by myself. Sometimes I go to movies by myself. Often I go to dinner by myself. And I love going to a coffee shop alone so I can read.

And it's not that I'm anti-social. I have my network of friends, but I don't need to see them every day.

And it's not that I don't want to be with someone, either. I'd LOVE to be in a relationship again.

But I also realize that there are many benefits to being single. And so while I'm single, I try to cherish this freedom to do whatever the hell I want. I try to enjoy this quality time to myself.

And then when I do find that special guy whom I can fall in love with, I'll cherish my time with him, just as much.
 
Some of us are just natural loners I think. When I was younger, I was fairly anti-social although as I got into college I came out of my shell more. Lately though, I've been feeling myself withdrawing back a bit because I'm just trying to focus my energy on people and activities that are more important to me.
 
LostVegas said:
Do not get the title of the thread wrong.

I am NOT adamant about being alone nor is it my wish. In fact I am quite open to the right guy coming along.

But I am ok with being alone. I have been alone my whole life, it is kind of what I am used to.

Now also do not mistake me. I am not depressed. I am not down on meeting anyone I am open to it. But I think it is quite healthy for anyone, in a relationship or not, to be OK with being alone...being with themselves.

I like to travel and I like hanging out at home. I am happy with the money I make and the future that is ahead for me financially.

I read an article recently by Diane Keaton on how she is so very much happy being by herself and alone and with no man. Halle Berry said on Oprah that she really doesnt care too much abou being with a man and that she will just ask a man, when she turned 40, to father her baby and that she would sign a document saying she would not come after him for one cent.

I go to the movie theater by myself sometimes and even out to eat and to travel. I mention this to family and friends and they think it is so odd. And I have to wonder why? Why does society frown upon that?

I am totally ok with having no kids, I 99% do not want any. So there is no incessant calling to be a dad.

Joy Behar from the VIEW(divorced but seeing someone) said the key to her happiness with this guy is NOT to get married again and to have SPACE...That they live in different places and that seems to help alot.

I would be really happy spending money to travel the world and the U.S. in my years to come. I actively am starting to take part in organizations that help abused and neglected animals and homeless people, so that makes me feel great.


So guys how about it? Are there other SINGLE guys out there who are ok with being alone? Are there any COUPLED guys out there who are in a relationship but really enjoy their space?

BRIAN

P.S.-Sorry if this post is meandering, just wanted to type what was on my mind.
Click to expand...

i think you are similar to me here. I don't feel lonely being alone, but sometimes i feel like i need someone to play with sexually.

I think travelling and go to movies by yourself maybe abit hard because don't you feel like you wants to talk to someone?
 
I feel you on this point-of-view. This world is full of people that don't share much in common with me, and the few that do are few and far in between. So I can most definitely understand you.

I don't mind going to movies alone, but the part about going out to eat and on vacations by myself is sort of a stretch. I will however go on a day trip to another city alone, but that's it.

I dub it "me time".
 
kayman23 said:
I feel you on this point-of-view. This world is full of people that don't share much in common with me, and the few that do are few and far in between. So I can most definitely understand you.

I don't mind going to movies alone, but the part about going out to eat and on vacations by myself is sort of a stretch. I will however go on a day trip to another city alone, but that's it.

I dub it "me time".
Click to expand...

I definitely agree with this sentiment. I do not find to many people who are similar to me in personality; the couple of guys who are similar to me are heterosexual.
 
Oh i was pondering this topic this morning as my best friend helped change my bandages! She commented how unaffected I am about "le jerk" as she calls him. We are taking a break currently, and It doesnt bother me. I've never really cared if i was single or in a relationship. I just kinda do my own thing, and if someone wants to come along for the ride, great! Or if someone wants to show me something new...like i dunno...Mt. Biking while eating sushi...awesome! But when i'm single i really dont mind it.
I do take my relationships seriously, and im not saying breaking up doesnt hurt, but I think i handle it better than most.

I say kudos to us! We aren't desperate...OMG I"M DIEING ALONE!!!...people. Which i think is awesome!
 
I am a lot like you... I really hate relationships...the little experience I've had with them has been terrible. I really do enjoy myself more and really don't even go for hookups because I don't want to be a sex object either. I am also not saying I'm not open to meeting someone, but if it never happens I will be perfectly content...I am very focused on achieving my goals...they are my boyfriend! :)
 
I've been in a very loving relationship with my partner of 13 years, and even though I cherish every moment I can with him, I look forward to my own "alone" time - and so does he.

There are times when I'd rather be with him, or one of my friends, but most of the time I'm okay with just being by myself.

I'm not sure why society frowns upon this, but really don't care...
 
I have been happily partnered for the most part of my adult life. I have dearly loved my BFs and am as much in love with my present BF as anyone can possibly be.

Yet, we are different. There are many things that he does on his own, simply because I have no interest in them. Equally so, there are many other things that I do on my own that are of conversely, of no interest to him.

We mostly travel together, too. This year, he is making his first private trip on his own. (We are making 4 trips together, though.) I had no interest in going there, the way he wanted to go, so I bailed out.

I am very happy about spending loads of time with him, and I am equally happy with being on my own and doing things at my own pace.

It is very important to understand that the key to your own happiness and fulfillment is NOT within someone else but planted deeply in you.

SC
 
thanks for the post. i'm in with you.

given the general gay stereotypes, let's not get hurt by being alone.
 
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