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I think it is about time

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biguy562

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Hello, I posted under a recent thread a couple days ago but I wanted to go more in depth. I am 25 and I have a boyfriend that is 18, we have been together two months. He is completely out and his family loves me. I am only out to some friends. My parents have not met him. I still live with them.

Both my parents have bad health problems. My mom has had numerous knee surgeries and my dad has back problems along with knee pain. He also had a heart attack a few years back. They both love me and are very proud of me. I have a stutter along with cerebral palsy on my left side.

My dad gets upset because I have not brought my "friend" home to meet them. I have told them everything about him, just not that we are dating. He thinks it is because I am ashamed of them because of their health. That is definitely not the case and it is not because he is my boyfriend. There is just more stuff to do at his house and in a way, I feel like that is the only freedom I get because I still live with them. I just graduated college with a bachelor's degree. I want to move out yet I feel like I must stay at home to help my parents out because we live on a small farm with animals. My mom actually said today that she loves every minute I am at home with her and she started crying. My mom gets upset sometimes because of her health and she even asked me today if I was trying to get away because of the way she was acting.

I know my mother will be 100% accepting that I am gay, she actually already said she would be, it might be a surprise but I really do think she'll be accepting. It's my dad I am worried about. He makes remarks about gay people on TV and says, "is that two guys kissing?" and then makes a disgusted face.

I just do not know what to do.

Please help :/
 
i seriously believe that your parents only want to see you happy. even if you do move out that doesn't mean you cant still help your parents. life is too short to waste worrying over the small stuff. your father probably knows that your gay and may be trying to steer you "straight" with his comment. i think your parents couldn't have asked for a better son as your devotion to them will probably equal your devotion to your bf.
 
You might give some thought to the timing on two very different things- coming out to your parents versus introducing them to your boyfriend.

Doing both things at the same time might be a little much.

You know your parents better than we do. Since they want to meet your "friend" then bring him home to meet them. Let them get to know him.

If the relationship continues, then make a decision as to whether you feel it is time for you to clarify that the two of you are more than friends and that you are interested in guys. But since you are living at home, you need to ensure that you have a backup plan for supporting yourself if your parents don't take the well as you hope they will.
 
Thanks Evanrick I really appreciate that and one part of me really thinks that both of them will be fine with it because I know that want to see me happy.

Kara...I agree. I think it would be better to introduce him to them first before I come out. I really do think this will be a very long-lasting relationship.
 
biguy562 said:
Kara...I agree. I think it would be better to introduce him to them first before I come out. I really do think this will be a very long-lasting relationship.
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it might be...but he's 18 years old - there's a better chance it won't be. But, in any case, introduce him to your folks.

It's great that you are so loving to your folks. But-unless you are planning on taking over the farm at some point in your life, don't put your own life on hold to take care of the farm. I have children. While i would find it a loving thing, I hope that they wouldn't feel that they need to take care of me at the expense of themselves when we get to that point.
 
shainski said:
it might be...but he's 18 years old - there's a better chance it won't be. But, in any case, introduce him to your folks.
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Shainski, your right he is 18 and we could break up tomorrow I do have that in the back of mind but also I have that deep down feeling about him. He is definitely not your average 18 year old. He is very mature, loves his family, great big brother, and has values and morals.

Update...I actually introduced my parents to my boyfriend tonight "as a friend." They REALLY liked him and said, "he is a very nice young man." My boyfriend thinks they do have a hint that I am gay because I have told my parents everything about him.
 
biguy, the same thing happened with my mom. When i told her she said, I had a feeling but with my dad, he had no clue, and would make similar remarks to what your father makes. But over the last 3 years he has become a little more accepting, and it has been a long 3 years but you know what, Its ok because we have made some improvements and now will ask how my bf is and how things are going. Small baby steps. and remember it will all be ok.
 
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