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I thought he was my friend...
- Thread starter Ares
- Start date
M
Martkell2007
Guest
My college roommate rejected me when he found I was gay. We were close friends, but I figured if he couldn't accept me for my true self, he's noone I want to be around.
thephoenix
Slut
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that guy sounds like freakin tool
Move on. The best lessons in life come from the people who hurt you the most. Don't look at it as a friend lost, but a lesson learned.
Some (or depending on who you ask: most) people suck and are losers. You gotta get through some before you find the really good ones.
Move on. The best lessons in life come from the people who hurt you the most. Don't look at it as a friend lost, but a lesson learned.
Some (or depending on who you ask: most) people suck and are losers. You gotta get through some before you find the really good ones.
racer2438
JUB Addict
It only proves that he really was not your friend. Real friends stand by you no matter what. Unless one does something to break that trust. Dont be surprised if he is telling your other hang out friends about you.
By pestering him he may feel you are pushing him in a corner or after him. He has no clue. Back off let him cool off. If he does then talk again but not about being gay as you already know he does not approve. But if he continues w/the cold shoulder.......... DUDE move on you will find better freinds that accept you and dont play childish games and hurt you.
Just the 3words you told him "I am gay" he threw away all your years of friendship. How cruel is that!!!!!!!
Find new friends>>>>>>>>>
By pestering him he may feel you are pushing him in a corner or after him. He has no clue. Back off let him cool off. If he does then talk again but not about being gay as you already know he does not approve. But if he continues w/the cold shoulder.......... DUDE move on you will find better freinds that accept you and dont play childish games and hurt you.
Just the 3words you told him "I am gay" he threw away all your years of friendship. How cruel is that!!!!!!!
Find new friends>>>>>>>>>
trawler69
Extreme Muppet
I'm not going to be as harsh as those above. You haven't said anywhere that you fancy him, which is a refreshing change. You obviously value him for who he is IE a good friend. Maybe he is scared that the person he thought of as a good friend, and treated as one, had an ulterior motive and he can't handle that. It sounds as if he needs educating.
Perhaps you could try telling him some of the things you have told us and not just discard him as a lost cause as that way both of you would lose out. A friendship that has lasted as long as this one has deserves a bit of effort to save it.
Perhaps you could try telling him some of the things you have told us and not just discard him as a lost cause as that way both of you would lose out. A friendship that has lasted as long as this one has deserves a bit of effort to save it.
SilverRRCloud
I'd rather be a Sexgod:)
With all the due respect, there is no reason on earth for him to treat you the way he is doing it now.
Gay or not, this is after all your most personal, private and intimate matter. He is supposedly, your friend. You were not conditioning that friendship on the premise that he has sex with you, were you? Why on earth, would he take it upon himself to judge your choice of your sexual partners?
Only two possible explanations come to mind.
a) He fears that he may be 'guilty by association'. If my closest buddy turns out to be gay, people will start talking, and soon enough, I will be 'branded gay', too;
b) he is deeply insecure about his own sexuality and now fears that this may be a major challenge.
Be as it may, you want to stop being on his case. You did try to reach out and re-connect. He turned you down. Harsh as this may really sound, you may want to move on and leave some initiative to him, too. Everything else may be highly counterproductive.
SC
Gay or not, this is after all your most personal, private and intimate matter. He is supposedly, your friend. You were not conditioning that friendship on the premise that he has sex with you, were you? Why on earth, would he take it upon himself to judge your choice of your sexual partners?
Only two possible explanations come to mind.
a) He fears that he may be 'guilty by association'. If my closest buddy turns out to be gay, people will start talking, and soon enough, I will be 'branded gay', too;
b) he is deeply insecure about his own sexuality and now fears that this may be a major challenge.
Be as it may, you want to stop being on his case. You did try to reach out and re-connect. He turned you down. Harsh as this may really sound, you may want to move on and leave some initiative to him, too. Everything else may be highly counterproductive.
SC
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
You thought wrong.
Now find yourself some real friends.
Lex
Now find yourself some real friends.
Lex
pausanias_usa
JUB Addict
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Silverrcloud is right -- it's his issue, not yours.
Btw, the more you beg a straight guy to go out the less they'll be inclined to do so. And then they'll turn around and say "NO, it's because you want it so much."
Your fault, of course. And it might be: how can I imagine what it's like to be straight?
Btw, the more you beg a straight guy to go out the less they'll be inclined to do so. And then they'll turn around and say "NO, it's because you want it so much."
Your fault, of course. And it might be: how can I imagine what it's like to be straight?
innocentbychoice
JUB Addict
The guy sounds like an idiot.
You sound too desperate.
That's a bad combination.
Don't show him you care that much. Get away from him, give him space, have your space, go out with different people. Get him out of your mind. He's not worth it and, in case he IS worth it, you're showing him he's so important that he treats you like shit and doesn't care.
As someone else said, don't give anyone that kind of power. Don't make him think he's better or more valuable than you that he deserves being chased by you like he's some kind of trophy and you're some kind of idiot who wants his friendship so bad.
Put him in his place by ignoring him. If he never contacts you again, he is not worth it.
You sound too desperate.
That's a bad combination.
Don't show him you care that much. Get away from him, give him space, have your space, go out with different people. Get him out of your mind. He's not worth it and, in case he IS worth it, you're showing him he's so important that he treats you like shit and doesn't care.
As someone else said, don't give anyone that kind of power. Don't make him think he's better or more valuable than you that he deserves being chased by you like he's some kind of trophy and you're some kind of idiot who wants his friendship so bad.
Put him in his place by ignoring him. If he never contacts you again, he is not worth it.
probably the worse thing you could have done was to tell him you were gay and then apologize for it.... why in the world would you apologize for being gay?
he might be questioning why you, as his good friend, never saw fit to tell him you were gay before .and that the next bombshell that you drop is that you are physically attracted to him that your intentions weren't simply to be his friend but to get him in bed... straight guys will jump to conclusions and all those calls you are making to him certainly aren't gonna change his mind if that is the case...
give the guy some space, he needs to get used to the idea that his good friend is gay and has been all during the friendship and maybe he is just distancing himself so that he can figure out where the friendship now stands and if it is possible to continue on.. if he is a true friend the fact that you are gay will not manner in the long run but you need to give him time to make that choice .. he has to accept the fact that you are gay, that will never change, but the friendship can and you have to accept that and move on.
if he is a true frien he will come back...if not than it is his loss because he is missing the opportunity to get to know you better.
he might be questioning why you, as his good friend, never saw fit to tell him you were gay before .and that the next bombshell that you drop is that you are physically attracted to him that your intentions weren't simply to be his friend but to get him in bed... straight guys will jump to conclusions and all those calls you are making to him certainly aren't gonna change his mind if that is the case...
give the guy some space, he needs to get used to the idea that his good friend is gay and has been all during the friendship and maybe he is just distancing himself so that he can figure out where the friendship now stands and if it is possible to continue on.. if he is a true friend the fact that you are gay will not manner in the long run but you need to give him time to make that choice .. he has to accept the fact that you are gay, that will never change, but the friendship can and you have to accept that and move on.
if he is a true frien he will come back...if not than it is his loss because he is missing the opportunity to get to know you better.
halubtsi
Optimist Eternal
Sorry jamesdude, but like everyone else has mentioned, this guys isn't your friend.
You need to give him space and leave him alone. If he cherishes your friendship, then he'll come back and APOLOGIZE to you for being so awkward about your coming out. I can honestly say that not one of my friends treated me the way your supposed "best friend" treated you.
Lastly, NEVER apologize for being gay. That would be like me apologizing for the colour of my eyes, hair or skin. Being gay is a part of you that you can't change. It doesn't define you, but it is a part of you. You should never be sorry for who you are.
You need to give him space and leave him alone. If he cherishes your friendship, then he'll come back and APOLOGIZE to you for being so awkward about your coming out. I can honestly say that not one of my friends treated me the way your supposed "best friend" treated you.
Lastly, NEVER apologize for being gay. That would be like me apologizing for the colour of my eyes, hair or skin. Being gay is a part of you that you can't change. It doesn't define you, but it is a part of you. You should never be sorry for who you are.
MystikWizard
JUB Addict
From the sound of your post, it sounded like you got off with him being so controlling of you.
If someone talked to me like that, I would tell them to Fuck off.
If someone talked to me like that, I would tell them to Fuck off.
texan_slant
Sex God
He isn't worth any energy - meaning, you've done absolutely everything you could - including be yourself. If your "best friend" can't accept you for who you are, and isn't willing to understand or open up, don't waste the effort...and DON'T BLAME YOURSELF (as you have done in your last post).
Unfortunately, friends *do* come and go in life - and a very select few stick around through the thick and thin.
...you also sound terribly depressed. I would recommend seeking professional guidance if your loss of appetite, diarrhea, etc. get any worse!