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I Thought I Knew -- Book Two
The Further Adventures of Justin & Billy
Chapter 13 -- Part I
The Further Adventures of Justin & Billy
Chapter 13 -- Part I
From Billy's viewpoint
I couldn’t seem to think fast enough to keep up with all the shit going on in my life. It just kept changing. Shit was happening too fast. Too unexpected. And I didn’t have a real plan to deal with this. No sense of what was I should do. What was right and what was wrong. I just didn’t want to . . .
I was stretched out with Justin on our sofa. Our cum all over us. All over the fucking sofa. God, fucking damn, that had been great sex! We were both a fucking mess.
Like everything else, the sex wasn’t planned. At least not by me. As best I could tell, it had just happened. It seemed like the right thing to do. It felt right.
Justin obviously loved it. He came enough to prove that to me.
And I loved it, too. Fuck, when didn’t I like sex? But this was special. It was really like things used to be.
I didn’t want it to end because I knew when it did I had to tell Justin. Tell him about the shit I had done. And had kept secret from him.
But, of course, the sex did end. It always ends. I tried to make it last longer. Toying with our cum. Trying to pick up strands of it as it oozed away between my fingers. Teasing Justin with tastes of it from my fingertips. His cum. My cum. Could he taste the difference? Lapping it up with my tongue. Sharing it with Justin in wet, messy kisses.
But the spontaneity of the moment was fading fast even as I was working for more time. Trying to delay the inevitable.
This wasn’t how I had imagined things.
I mean just a couple of hours earlier I’d finally gotten my head around the idea of telling Justin about that night with Todd. About Tom and the club. About all the shit I’d done. And then before I even got a chance to tell him, he drops all this other shit on me about him and his teacher. About him and Phil.
At first when Justin started to tell me what he had been up to behind my back, it seemed like I’d been saved from annihilation by some freak accident or something. I was just so glad to learn that I wasn’t the only guilty party.
So I guess at first I thought it was just good cover for what I still had to tell Justin. I wasn’t going to look quite so fucking bad after what he’d told me.
But then it was like two different ideas came to me at the same time and I didn’t know what to do about either.
The first was to act like I was completely OK with what Justin had done with that Professor Joe guy. Even though Justin was really vague about some stuff that happened and didn’t want me asking any questions about it. I figured from what he had said that he’d been blowing and sucking this old guy’s cock every Sunday for a month or so. And he’d probably gotten the same treatment for his horny cock in return. If not more.
It hurt some to hear Justin talking about Joe. It really did. I could tell by the way Justin talked that he was really into this guy. Thought he was fucking hot shit. Probably swung for his cock, too.
But as much as it hurt to hear all that . . . to know all that . . . I knew it would probably be OK. I mean, it probably was going to be OK between Justin and me. We could make it through this. I felt sure of it.
Sure, Justin was . . . or at least had been . . . really into this guy. But I knew what that could be like. This Joe guy must be fucking hot.
I remembered the first time anything like this happened between Justin and me. Only then it was me who had the hots for another guy. It was after I had come out to the swim team and some other friends at Ted’s house. After that meeting, I had started to get it on with Ted. He just turned me on so fucking bad I could hardly stand it. Got me hard. Made me want to do all the nasties with him. But I held off and instead took him over to Justin’s place.
What happened with Ted and me that day wasn’t the same as what Justin had done with his teacher. But when I thought back to how I was that first time with Ted, I could remember knowing that Justin could tell how much Ted turned me on. I knew that had hurt Justin to see me so boned up for another guy. But he had been so good about it.
I knew it was my turn to be good. To say it was OK. To say I understood. And I did understand. I knew what that kind of attraction was like. I’d felt it often enough since then. Sometimes a hot guy came along and I just couldn’t help being into him. Fucking boned up just at the sound of his name even.
But it still hurt me when Justin told me how his teacher turned him on. That pain for me was real. And I could feel it in my gut. In my nuts. I could feel the pain even though I knew Justin had told his professor no. I knew Justin had walked away from the fucker who could have laid the golden eggs. But what Justin had felt for the guy still hurt me.
But just like Justin had done that first time with me and Ted, I acted like everything was completely OK. And I really thought it could be.
Then almost as fast came the second thought. It was simple. All that shit this professor guy was waving in front of Justin as bait sounded fucking good to me. Who wouldn’t want that? I sure as shit did. It may have been simple greed, but everything pointed me in the same direction. Go for it!
So I quick decided to act like nothing Justin said was so bad. Fuck, at least it made what I did look less bad. It was easier than I thought to act like nothing Justin said was so bad and be the friend and lover to him that he had been to me so often.
By acting like nothing Justin had said was so bad, maybe . . . just maybe . . . we’d manage to patch up our problems and still be able to get all that shit from his professor buddy.
If Justin and I had to jerk the guy off or suck him off or even get sucked off, that wasn’t such a big deal in the scheme of things. After what I’d done at the club the night before . . . fuck, was that just last night . . . getting felt up, groped and sucked-off in front of all those guys for some shitty tips and comps from the club.
This seemed a no-brainer to me. Justin ought to go for it with the prof and I ought to be there with him 110 percent.
For some reason Justin seemed to be having a hard time understanding that, but I’d done my best to be clear. To be a friend. Be supportive. Be there for him.
So that’s what I’d done. Now I had to tell him my story.
Somehow after what Justin had just told me, my whole approach that I had expected to use seemed wrong. Instead of feeling guilty and sorry and angry with myself, I was feeling kind of . . . kind of not so sorry. Yeah, what I did was more than Justin, but not so much.
Of course, I had done that shit at the club, plus there was that night with Todd, too.
Oh, shit! I started to realize I was a long way from being home free. I closed my eyes to focus on what I had to do. What I had planned to do. How I had planned to do it.
I opened my eyes to find Justin looking right into mine. His face not two feet from my face.
“I have some things to tell you, too,” I said, letting my head drop back to his shoulder. Having a hard time looking straight at Justin. I closed my eyes tight and willed myself to be strong.
“First I want you to know that I am sorry for the things I have done. I want to do what you have done and make a complete confession. Lay it all out so that we can get things straight between us. Back the way they were. Because I know I love you and I know you still love me.”
Justin tried to smile at me. It was like maybe he already knew what the fuck I had done and wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. Or would be able to accept it. God, I hoped he didn’t know before I could tell him. But he might know. That alone was plenty of incentive not to leave anything out.
He could have heard about Todd from Phil. He could have put two-and-two together after finding Tom here this morning. Fucking Tom. If he weren’t such a fucking slut!
Oh, yeah! Justin could have seen the pictures. My cock in Tom’s mouth. Fuck me, I thought again. Just fuck me.
“I have fucked up pretty bad a couple of times. I could make a lot of excuses, but the fact is I just let my dick do my thinking sometimes.” I started talking. Telling Justin about the night with Todd and what really happened. How, without meaning to or planning to, we had cum in each other’s mouths and all the rest of it.
I realized I had started to make it sound like I wasn’t as into Todd as I really was. In my gut I knew that wasn’t good enough. Maybe I knew how what Justin had told me about him and his teacher had hurt me. Maybe I wanted to spare him the pain. Maybe I was just chicken to tell him the whole truth. Fuck, this was hard.
I hesitated and then started to explain again. The honest truth. The way I had to tell it. “No, I gotta be honest. I gotta say that Todd turns me on like . . . like Ted did. Like your prof turns your crank. I don’t know. I just really get off talking to him, being with him.”
I started to get graphic about how Todd made my cock feel when he called on the phone. I don’t know why I thought I needed to say that shit. Maybe I just like to talk about sex. Being hard. And horny. And sexed up.
But almost immediately I could see the impact this was having on Justin. He was trying to not show it, but I was hurting him. I knew it was. I thought I might break down and cry looking at him hurting so bad inside. I was that close.
“But I don’t love him,” I said. “It’s just sex, I guess. You’re the only one I love. The only one I ever loved.”
I hugged Justin hard and he hugged me back. I still thought I might cry, but I didn’t.
I broke off from the hug. Pulled back. Looked into Justin’s sad eyes. “I’m afraid there’s more,” I told him. “I’ve got to tell you everything. It’s killing me. I can’t stand what I have done to you and to us.”
“Don’t worry,” Justin said in his calming voice. “I understand. Just take your time and tell me when you’re ready. It can’t be that bad.” He paused and then asked, “Is it Tom?”
“No, not Tom,” I said as though that were a stupid question I couldn’t even take seriously. Then I realized that wasn’t right. “Well, not exactly. Not like Todd. Or your prof. Nothing like that I . . . Oh shit.”
“Just take your time,” Justin said. He was so calm. So accepting. So patient.
I felt so bad. Here we were still covered in our own cum from probably the best sex we’d had since . . . I didn’t even know when . . . and I’m gonna have to tell him about getting sucked off dancing on the bar at some club while I was drunk out of my fucking mind. Sucked off by Tom. And I can’t even remember enough to be sure what else I might have done with him.
I buried my face in Justin’s shoulder. The smell of him filled my head. The smell of our sex. The two of us together. It should have made me happy, but instead it made my burden seem even heavier.
I raised my head and looked at Justin. When our eyes were locked on each other, I cleared my throat and said as calmly as I could, “Tom sucked me off in front of a bunch of guys at the club the other night.”
“What?” Justin blurted out in response. I could tell he hadn’t been expecting that. He shook his head to kind of clear his thoughts. That’s what it looked like to me anyway. I mean, he was blinking and looking all confused and shit. He took a deep breath and then asked, “So how did this happen?”
I’d accomplished what I had set out to. I had cut off any escape for myself. Now I had to tell him the story. The whole story. Of course, I didn’t really remember all of it, but I’d pieced together enough to give Justin a pretty clear idea of what had happened. Maybe not why, but at least what.
Tom cumming on the dance floor. Tasting Tom’s cum when he jacked off at our table. Getting each other hot and hard after everyone else had moved on for the evening. Dancing on the bar. Cumming in Tom’s mouth. Getting so turned on by all the guys wanting a piece of me.
When I was done, we were both still sitting on the couch facing each other. But as I told Justin what had happened the night before at the club, I could sense and see him moving away from me. When I got to the part where Tom and some other guy I didn’t even know were sucking on my spent cock and sharing my cum as they both slurped on my boner, Justin was looking dumbfounded by the whole thing.
“So did you enjoy it?” he asked. “I guess that’s a stupid question. After all, you got sucked off and played with by dozens of guys. I know you well enough. That was a stupid question.”
“I don’t really much remember it,” I said. But then I started to tell him more about what I did remember of the guys reaching out to touch me. How I felt like I was important and sexy and everybody wanted me.
“Yeah, I did like it I guess. I like it when guys get turned on by me. I like making them hard. Getting them to cum. Seeing them cum. Yeah. I liked it.” I wasn’t looking at Justin as I said those words. I couldn’t.
I waited for a response, but none came.
I finally looked up to see Justin’s face. He was smiling.
“Billy, Billy, Billy. You are such a perv. I wish I could have seen you,” he said.
I was totally shocked. I hadn’t seen that coming. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you love an audience. You always have. You’ve loved guys to pay attention to you. To show off. Even to cum for them. That’s who you are, Billy. I know that. I just don’t know why you didn’t know that.”
I guess I must have looked puzzled as I sat staring at Justin, unable to come up with a response.
“That’s why I thought we should try some new things. Not because I didn’t love you. Not because I was bored with you. But because that’s who we are. We’re a lot alike in that way . . . except I think you find it easier to act on those instincts than I do,” he said
“It’s like with Joe.” Justin started to chuckle as he sat there thinking things through. “I mean, I said no to the guy and you want to dive right in and jack him off. Suck him off if that’s what it takes to get his deal.”
“So you’re not mad?” I asked.
“No. Surprised a little. And I shouldn’t even be surprised. Oh, Billy, you’re such a . . .” Justin stood their grinning at me, shaking his head back and forth at a loss for words.
Then he took me in his arms and we were kissing again.
When finally we came up for fucking air, Justin said, “Let’s go where we can have a little more room.” With those words, he stood up. Reached down. Took my hand. Led me into our bedroom.
To be continued . . .
I hope you enjoyed the first half of Chapter 13. You'll have to cum again next week to find out just how they finish this discussion in their bedroom. But please don't wait until the end of the chapter to share your thoughts with me, the guys and your fellow readers. We all enjoy sharing our insights. So leave a comment.
With any luck at all, I'll be back in about a week. It'll be a scorcher worth waiting for. Until then, stay happy. And stay hard!
Good job HR. Billy I am glad you told Justin what happened or at least to your best knowledge. Justin, you sure handled it much better than I would have.
