Re: I Thought I Knew
Chapter 13 -- Part II
From Billy's viewpoint
Justin had been sitting with his parents in the den watching TV when I arrived. I was relieved to find him dressed for a change. I said my hellos and we headed for Justin’s room.
“Horny again so soon?” Justin asked as soon as we were out of earshot of his parents.
“No. But I gotta talk to you about this stuff,” I said.
Alone with Justin in his room, I started having the same conversation with him that I’d been having with myself for almost 24 hours. He asked a lot of questions about what turned me on, who turned me on, what I did about it, when I did it, did I like doing it. Sometimes I think he was just asking because he liked talking about sex stuff. I think he particularly liked hearing me talk about getting into sex with him. Sometimes he really seemed to care what I was saying and was really trying to help me figure things out. I noticed that even the most graphic parts of our discussions – like the blowjob from Kate, or the time earlier that year I caught Terry jacking off in the locker room shower; what a fucking hot scene that was – didn’t get him aroused. Justin’s nice, plump package remained unchanged. Nice and plump.
“So which of those do you think it is?” I asked, having just laid out the range of options I’d come up with from me being totally straight to me being totally gay.
I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it came down to this: He didn’t think I was gay. I wasn’t turned on by gay porn; I’d never even thought about having sex with a guy before Jess came out to me, and when I thought about my future it still involved finally finding the right girl when I started college and finally getting the big opportunity I’d been waiting for – the opportunity to fuck my brains out.
He said he thought I’d just had a life of shitty sex, or, more accurately, no sex at all. It wasn’t until I met him that I was able to relax and enjoy sex of any kind. Look at the people I’d been with. Like Kate who didn’t even like to give blowjobs. Or Jess who didn’t know what he wanted until a couple of weeks ago and still didn’t know how to get it, or do it.
So, of course, with sex options like those, it shouldn’t be surprising that Justin was appealing to me. But it didn’t mean I was gay.
“But you could be,” I remember Justin saying.
“Could be what?”
“Gay,” he said. “I wouldn’t completely rule it out. I mean when you first walked in on Jess holding his hard-on, you didn’t turn tail and run. Oh, no! You joined right in the fun and came back for more. Pardon my pun.
“And when Jess came out to you, you weren’t repulsed. You wanted to know more. You wanted to try to get involved. Remember, that’s where I came in.”
I remembered.
“So,” I said, “you’re going around in the same circle I am. Maybe I’m gay. Maybe I’m not. How does a guy ever know?”
“I never had that problem. I always just knew. I guess you’re going to have to experiment to find that answer.”
“And just how would you propose I ‘experiment’?”
“You could let Jess fuck your cute jock ass and see if you liked it,” he said with a wicked grin.
“Not likely,” I said.
“Think about it. Two weeks ago if I’d told you that you and me were going to share a cum-filled pair of jeans, that you and me and Jess would be jacking each other off, that you’d be getting a blow job from me and from Jess and even from Kate. . . you would have said ‘Not likely’ I bet.”
As always, Justin made a lot of sense.
“I still don’t think I’m gonna let Jess fuck me as some kind of experiment,” I said. “What else could I do?”
“You could let me fuck you.” There was that wicked grin again as Justin rubbed his crotch provocatively.
The very mention of the idea sent a tingle down my cock and the tingling continued as it ran down to my nuts.
“No way,” I said, but perhaps I was a little slow with my response.
“Well, the main thing is you need to do something that you think is totally gay and that you think only a gay guy would do. If you do it and you like it and you want to do it again, I’d say you’re gay.” He paused, looking at me as though I should have an answer for that. “So what’s it gonna be?”
I looked him up and down, trying hard to decide whether to give voice to the idea that had just settled smack in the middle of my fucking brain. Trying to decide what it would mean if I did what I was thinking. Trying to figure out why I thought it was the answer to Justin’s question. Then I just blurted it out.
“So what if I give you a blowjob?”
I didn’t know if I was saying it because I thought it really would answer Justin’s question and resolve whether I was gay or not. Or was it because I wanted to give Justin a blowjob, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. I was playing fucking mind games with myself and I didn’t know if I was winning or losing.
“Why did you choose that out of all the things you could have chosen? You could have suggested going down to the public restrooms at Lakeside Park and getting a little anonymous man-on-man sex. You could have suggested fucking Jess. Or who knows what. A million things. So why did you pick giving me a blowjob?” What a sly smile he was showing me as he said those last words, stretching them out so it sounded like, “So why did you pick . . . giving . . . me . . . a . . . blowjob?”
I thought for a moment before I spoke, but my mind was out of real answers. “I honestly don’t know, but I think it may help me figure this out. If I like it and want to do it again, I’m probably . . . maybe more than probably . . . gay. If I don’t, I’m probably not.”
“You may be right,” he said. “For me, what I like and what I don’t like involves a lot of chemistry. Like at this point in my life, I don’t think a blowjob from Mike would do much for me. Sure, I’d let him blow me. I hope he does. But I’m not gonna spill a lot of cum remembering it if he does. Does that mean I’m not gay? You figure it out.”
“So what are you saying? I can suck you off? I shouldn’t suck you off? You don’t want me to suck you off?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong Mr. Pretty Jock Boy. I’d love for you to blow me anytime. But I can’t guarantee it’ll answer your question.”
“But it might. Remember, this was your idea.”
“I know whose idea this was and, sure, it might answer the question,” Justin said and his sly smile returned.
“Then let’s go for it,” I said sounding completely confident and sure of myself. But inside I felt such a mix of emotions – relief, terror, lust, doubt, guilt – I couldn’t begin to sort them out.
As I started to slowly open Justin’s fly, I could see his thick cock start to grow to its magnificent nine inches. Suddenly lust was taking the lead among all my emotions. I knew right then I was thinking with my cock, but I liked the way my cock was thinking.
Justin stood passively, except for his twitching cock, as I began to take his clothes off. When he was finally standing naked in front of me, I began a slow striptease of my own and he began to leisurely stroke his hardening cock. When I was finally naked, too, he reached out with his free hand and began to stroke my hardening cock. He was stroking his hard cock and my hard cock. One in each hand.
Then I reached down, gently brushing his hand away and took my cock in my own hand. I stepped closer to him and tapped my hard cock against his as we had before and said, “To friendship.” I felt a surge go through my groin as our cocks touched.
He returned the tap and said, “To our friendship.” Then he hugged me hard and our chests and abs and cocks pressed together. There was a series of little pelvic thrusts, causing our cocks to press harder against each other. I don’t even know which of us was doing it, or maybe it was both of us.
Finally, we stepped apart and I went straight to my knees before this guy who was driving me sex crazy. “I’ve never done this before, so let me know if I do it wrong,” I said as I looked up into his lust-filled eyes.
He didn’t say a word as he took my head between his hands and bent down and kissed me. As he slowly moved his moist, warm lips from mine, he whispered in my ear, “I hope this gives you the answer you’re seeking.”
He stood up, never letting go of my head, which he held firmly in his warm, manly hands. He directed my mouth toward his waiting cock and held it no more than an inch away from the tip of his rock hard cock. I could see the first clear pearl of pre-cum form at the tip and then become a long sticky string just dangling from his piss lips. So tantalizing. I licked my lips and my mouth began to water. As he guided my mouth toward his cock he whispered to me again. “I hope you enjoy it. I really hope you do.”
I lapped at the tip of his cockhead, savoring the pre-cum treat he’d offered. I could hardly wait to start the real action. I placed my lips around his cockhead about midway from the tip to where his shaft began. It felt harder and hotter than I could have imagined. The taut surface was so smooth. I closed my eyes and started to suck. Suck hard. I sucked as I moved my mouth down until the entire crown of his cock was in my mouth. The flared edge was so pronounced against the backside of my lips. It seemed to fit so naturally in my mouth.
I began to suckle on his cockhead, like a baby nursing, only with much more pressure . . . and longing
“Great start,” Justin mumbled as he stroked my hair, no longer holding my head, only caressing it.
I wanted more of his cock. I knew I couldn’t take it all, but I wanted more than the crown. I sucked it in and tasted his pre-cum flowing freely, exciting my taste buds and encouraging my efforts. I started an up and down motion with my lips tight around his cock. His warm, hard, perfect cock. I could feel it throbbing in my mouth. Then Justin picked up the pace, slowly fucking my mouth. I held my head still and concentrated entirely on engulfing his cock with pleasure, as he pumped in and out.
He got even harder and as he pumped his massive nine-inches in and out of my mouth. It made me feel as though I had some power I was transmitting . . . no, feeding into his cock as I sucked it. I could make him hard and horny and happy and . . .
I remembered his nuts. I’d forgotten all about those wonderful globes hanging chin high in front of me. I took them in one hand and played with them, while my remaining hand played up and down on the half of Justin’s cock he wasn’t feeding down my throat.
“That’s good, Billy. That’s really good. It’s gonna make me cum. Do you want me to cum in your face or do you want to swallow it. It’s your choice, but make it fast. My nuts are churning already.”
I could feel the changes in his cock. It was harder and I swear it was longer and fatter, too. And hotter. My god it felt so good.
I didn’t answer except to put a hand on each of his ass cheeks and pull his cock deeper into my mouth, forcing it to press against the back of my throat.
“Oh, Billy,” Justin said as he tensed. And then the first load filled my mouth. It took me by surprise and some leaked out. Warm creamy cum fresh from Justin’s hot cock was swirling in my mouth and dripping down my chin. I tried to swallow as the second blast arrived. It tasted great, but was more cum than I could handle. I had to pull off. As I did, I looked up at Justin and saw him grinning and then the next blast hit my cheek, right where he’d aimed it. And then my neck. And chest. A blast of his precious cum hit each of my nipples and then my face again. He was rubbing his cock in my hair and then shoving it back in my mouth.
Suddenly, I realized my own cock was throbbing, ready to spew. Hotter than fucking hell. I had just finished sucking Justin’s cock dry when my own cock erupted with a massive flow of cum. I reach down and scooped up a handful and put it in my mouth. Then I went back to sucking off Justin’s hard-on, but reach down for a second scoop of my cum. There was plenty. I lifted my palm filled with cum up to Justin, who scooped some into his own hand and lapped it up.
Then he lifted me to my feet and kissed me deeply. Our tongues slid against each other. A mix of warm saliva and cum passing from my mouth to his and back again.
When we ended that kiss, cum still smeared on our lips, and all over my face, neck and chest, Justin asked if I had liked it.
“I fucking loved it. When you took my head in your hands and started fucking my mouth . . . Wow! It was so cool. The feel of your hard cock rubbing back and forth against my lips. Sucking on your hard tool. When I could feel your cock swell even bigger, get even hotter, it felt so perfect in my mouth. Your cum! God I love your cum gushing. That I can make you do that with my mouth is . . . I don’t know how to describe it, but I know I fucking loved it. I guess I knew I would." Suddenly my mood started to slip from the euphoria of my sex high to the reality of what this all might mean.
Suddenly everything seemed more serious. More real.
Justin sensed the change in me and gave me a serious, almost stern look. He said there was one more thing I needed to do. I needed to give Jess as good a blowjob as I’d just given him. Then I would know the truth. Then we would know the truth. Jess and I needed to do it soon. Very soon. This week.
I left my old jeans with Justin and said goodnight.
***
As I drove home that Sunday night, I had a lot to think about. A lot still unresolved. I knew I had liked giving Justin that blowjob. The question was: Why did I do it? Did I want to discover the truth about whether I was gay or not? Or did I just want to blow Justin’s enormous cock? I knew I was getting deeper and deeper into having sex with Justin, but I still didn’t know why.
Then there was the question of Jess. I had promised Justin I’d give Jess a blowjob before the week was out. How would that feel? Would Jess’ hot cum filling my mouth, coating my lips, his long hard cock deep down my throat, would that be good, too? Would it prove I was gay and open the doorway to being best buds with Jess and his sex buddy, too. Or would it not turn out so good? Where would I be then? Just a slut for Justin and his weird sex cravings? And a guy with no best bud?
I had a lot to think about.
Great story
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. You can't really fault him for reactin that way. I feel worse for him than justin sry 
