Re: I Thought I Knew
Chapter 22
From Billy’s viewpoint
No matter what question I asked Jess -- about what happened at the party; what Ted had said; who else he had talked to -- his answer was always the same: I don’t know.
I finally hung up and collapsed on the bed. Justin came over and sat beside me, laying a hand on my thigh and looking down at me with the saddest eyes. We were both still naked from last night’s frolicking, but his hand on my thigh didn’t seem the least bit erotic that morning. At that moment he seemed like just a friend . . . even though somewhere deep inside I knew he was my boyfriend trying to show his support.
I couldn’t believe it. Just as my life seemed to finally be making sense, to be going somewhere, it all came crashing down. I mean, just hours before I had felt like my fucking life had just begun. Last night Justin and I had given ourselves to each other. My god, he’d fucked me and I’d fucked him. That’s about as much giving as two guys can do.
Last night it had seemed there was no turning back. My life’s course was set. I was going to be Justin’s boyfriend and he would be mine. There might be bumps, or even detours, but not this.
Who could have fucking done this to us? . . . To me?
“Who, Justin, tell me fucking who?”
“I don’t know. You talked to Jess more than I did. Didn’t he have any idea?”
No. Jess only knew what Ted had told him. Ted had said he thought it might have come from Kate. But Jess had never even asked Ted why he thought that. In one way, it made sense. Kate was furious when I broke up with her. But in another more important way, it didn’t make any sense at all. Kate didn’t know I was gay. Maybe she could have guessed. Or maybe someone had told her.
But the list of “someones” was pretty fucking short. There was Justin. And there was me. And Jess, of course. And that was it. All I knew was that I sure as fuck hadn’t told her.
Then Justin reminded me that Mike knew, too. But Mike didn’t even know me, or Kate, or any of us, except Justin. That didn’t make sense. Why would he out me at the same time he was letting us use his apartment. No, Mike didn’t make sense.
“There was the waiter at the restaurant last night,” Justin reminded me. “Remember, I told you I thought he might go to our school. And the way we were carrying on, I think everyone in the place could tell we were boyfriends. We were like waving our hard cocks at everyone in the place as we left.”
“OK. OK. I remember. We weren’t very discreet. I get it. But I never even saw that guy before,” I said. “And what did he do? See us playing footsies under the table and run straight for the phone and call someone at the party? I don’t think so. If he does go to our school, none of my friends even know that guy.”
“Sure, because he’s a nobody. But you’re a somebody. Everyone in our school, right down to the littlest
Freshmen, knows who you are. You’re a big jock. You’re like a rock star at school,” Justin said.
I lay on the bed angry and hurt. I didn’t have a clue what to do or what was going to happen next.
I could just deny the rumor. Let people say whatever they wanted. They didn’t have any proof. Nobody really knew anything. And my friends, my real friends, all knew I wasn’t gay. Of course, there’s a little problem there, cuz I guess I am . . . for fucking real.
Justin’s real and what we’re doing is real. I sat there, my brains scrambled by this sudden change in my life. I wonder if it really was possible for my life with Justin to go on? Can I keep Justin as my boyfriend and keep my friends in the dark. I wished it could work that way. But my mind kept saying it couldn’t. People would figure it out. Fuck, people already had figured it out.
At this point, almost anything seemed possible in my life. But none of it good.
As I lay there on my back, my eyes closed, my breathing heavy, Justin stretched out on his side next to me. At any other moment, I would have wrapped myself around him and rubbed and sucked and stroked and fucked until we were so spent, so drained of every drop of cum, so finished we couldn’t get our cocks hard again to save our souls.
But not now. As I felt Justin’s warm, smooth body ease itself against my side, my cock didn’t even stir. It was comforting to know that Justin was at my side, both figuratively and literally. But nothing more.
Apparently that wasn’t the case for Justin. I could feel his cock starting to press against my hip. Thickening. Lengthening. Getting noticeably warmer. I shifted just a little on the bed to accommodate his hard-on.
In return, he made some gentle thrusting moves. Subtle, but not too subtle. I rolled on my side so I was facing him and scooted away from him just a little in the same motion. I let my hand come to rest on his hardening cock. The cock I loved so much. The cock I wanted to love so much more. “Not now,” I said softly, as I gave it a gentle squeeze. “Not now.”
Justin just nodded and continued to lie next to me. Completely still except for his breathing. And a rhythmic pulse in his warm cock.
I didn’t move either. Not even my hand.
As we lay there, however, one thing wasn’t being still. With my hand wrapped around Justin’s cock, it continued to grow. Pushing its way out the top of my gently wrapped fist. Expanding its girth to force my hand to open more to accommodate its impressive girth.
I raised my head and looked down at Justin’s cock, the lower half wrapped in my hand. The top half thrusting its proud head up and out as though it were reaching out to me. To be even closer to me. I looked at Justin and smiled and he smiled at me.
I gave his cock a squeeze and was greeted by a sudden flow of pre-cum. I took my hand from the based of his cock and put the center of my palm over his cock slit to get as much of the sweet, slippery pre-jizz where it needed to be. With his generous flow, in only a few second I had enough to lubricate my hand and I began to stroke the full nine inches of Justin’s cock.
Lying there so close to Justin, stroking his cock, my thumb and fingertips inevitably brushed up against my own cock.
This gentle hand action was getting the sensations stirred up in my cock, too. My cock was getting harder. More alert to what was happening to and around it. But inside I felt amazingly calm. I knew the chaos of being outed was facing me, but this gentle action with my boyfriend eased my mind. At least for now.
Justin looked down at my stirring cock. It was getting plenty hard. “Can I?” he asked.
Of course, I said yes. So there we were. Side by side. Boyfriends. Stroking each other’s raging cocks. Almost a foot and a half of hard cock between us. Our dicks worked like a couple of magic wands, melting my sadness and worries away. Pre-cum flowed from our cock lips.
After a few minutes of gentle stroking and playing with each other’s balls and assholes, Justin rolled onto his back, pulling me up on top of him. Our hard cocks trapped between us.
I used my new position on top of Justin to accelerate our thrusting and sliding. I loved the feel of his cock rubbing up against mine. Sliding in our generous pre-cum. Pinned between our hard abs. Powered by our young, muscled butts. Thrusting, gyrating, pushing our cocks between us and against each other in new and wonderful ways.
I could feel the hairs of his happy trail when the underside of my cock slid across and through them. They aroused me even more than the thicker pube hair just above his cock. I also loved rubbing the ridge of my cockhead back and forth against his cum-filled bellybutton. This action, with our dicks pinned between us, was a special turn-on.
Justin began to play with my ass, squeezing my ass cheeks to urge me on. Controlling the pace. Getting our cocks in perfect position to send the most powerful fucking sensations to my nuts.
Then he moved one hand so he could run a finger across my asshole. Playing with it. Toying with it. I was twitching and wriggling in response.
Within less than a moment I could feel him trying to press his finger in. To my amazement, I willed my sphincter to relax and let him in. Easy as that. So natural to have my boyfriend’s finger sliding in and out of my ass. Turning. Probing. Thrusting into me.
Two fingers! So good to have him there. So easy. So natural. So fucking hot.
I started to groan and my body writhed uncontrollably, pushing his fingers deeper. My chest against Justin’s chest. My hips against his hips. My hot pulsing cock against his hot cock. My feet stretched out straight. My body tensed.
“Try to wait for me,” Justin said just as I started to cum. I pushed my cock hard against his and felt the warm gush of my man juice flowing between us. The heat of my cum, the slush of my juice, making our writhing bodies even better together. My cock was so sensitive, but I went on working it against Justin’s abs. I let out the most satisfied sounds and ran my hands all over the warm hard muscles of Justin’s arms, down across his smooth, trim hips. My hands finally forced their way under him to grab hold of his ass and pull him -- his hard cock still thrusting -- pull him in even closer to me.
Then I pulled away a bit and looked down at him. “You haven’t cum yet,” I said.
He shook his head no. Not that I needed confirmation. When Justin came, you knew it.
“Good,” I said. “I want that hard, long cock of yours up my ass. Now.” I paused and then said in my most pleading voice, “Please.”
“You got it,’ Justin said. He put both of his hands on my chest and pushed me into a sitting position. My ass rested on his crotch. I was careful not to crush his nuts.
He started rubbing his hands across his abs. Through my cum. Gathering a plentiful load of my cum on his fingers. He started rubbing it all over his cock to lube it up good. I scooted back a little to make it easier.
“Raise your ass up so I can lube it, too,” he said. I laughed a little at the thought, but complied. Soon his fingers, covered in my own cum, were probing and pushing into my ass again. He kept scooping up more and more cum and applying it to my asshole. But from his first touch, my ass lips had opened wide to him. Ready for what was coming.
I could tell he was ready. He reached down and took his rock hard cock. Nine inches long. Maybe more. It seemed enormous to me just then and I was glad of it. I placed the tip up against my asshole. My sphincter twitched and with ease I lowered myself far enough that the head of his cock popped into my ass.
He let out a sort of an “Ooooow, aaaaaah” kind of sound that I soon came to associate with Justin’s cock entering my ass. He said he really fucking loved the feel of the first penetration, when only his cockhead was buried in my ass.
After a moment, I slowly settled down his pole, impaling myself happily on it.
When the final inch was in and my balls were resting, nestled in his curly pubes, I let out my own groan. His cock was pressing against my magic spot and suddenly I was so super hot and fucking turned on I could hardly believe it. I swirled my ass around on Justin’s pole. I wanted the tip of his cock to caress my prostate. And it did. I loved it. I started to rise up and settle down. Up and down. I was a fuck machine just starting up, just gaining speed.
But there was something more I wanted to experience. And so, as I raised up, with about four or five inches of Justin’s cock buried in me and the thick girth of his meat stretching my ass wide, I reached back and ran my fingertips across the exposed part of Justin’s cock.
I wanted to feel Justin’s cock as it entered me. It was slick with my cum and his oozing pre-cum. And it was unbelievably hard. I ran a finger up the center of the underside of his cock, feeling the bulge that ran its length. My fingertips caressing the thick veins that ran across the surface of his shaft. I brought my fingers back to my lips and licked our juices. Smelled our smells.
Then I returned my hand to probe at the very point where his cock was penetrating my ass. I felt my own ass lips. My touch tingled. I ran my fingers around to better judge how wide he had stretched me with his enormous cock. I loved the feel. The image it created in my mind.
I reached lower still and cupped Justin’s balls. They were pulled up so tight. The wrinkled skin of his contracting nut sack with its fine hairs felt so much like mine. The only difference was that when I ran my fingers gently across his nut sack, I felt the sensations in my fingers instead of in my nuts. All of this was making me very hot.
Satisfied with my exploration, I started raising and lowering myself again and Justin adjusted to match my movements. He thrust up to meet my ass as it came down. For newcomers to the art of ass fucking, I think we were already pretty fucking good at it. Naturals, I’d say.
I felt Justin start to tense and knew he was about to cum. I rose up one last time and thrust down hard as he thrust up. His cock was so deep in me. I loved this. I squeezed my ass muscles tight around Justin’s cock and almost immediately felt him explode inside of me. The force of his orgasm was so powerful. I could feel it surge with each new load and the feeling of that hot juice flowing deep inside of me was so clear it was almost as though I could see it with my eyes.
“I love you,” Justin said as he thrust again, hitting just the right spot to trigger my own cum. The surge of my hot cum from my nuts to my cockhead was amazing. It set me on fire. As it poured out of my cock and flowed down my shaft I felt more alive than I have ever felt. More complete. Justin and me bonded together in this way. We were perfect, powerful, fucking . . . perfect. Fucking . . . fuck. I loved this.
I let my head fall back and just enjoyed the sensation. My cum was still pulsing. I swear I think I must have shot a dozen times. Between my cumming and Justin’s, I felt complete. And happy. And exhausted.
I pulled up and off of Justin’s cock, which, like mine, was still really hard. We were young. We were hot. And we were in love. We just might stay hard forever.
I reached down and caressed his cum-drenched balls, which had finally begun to relax, to hang a little lower. They were covered in our cum. I offered Justin a handful. He lapped it up and I bent to kiss him. My tongue dipped into his mouth as I slurped up the cum. The smell was an aphrodisiac. The taste so fruity. The warmth of his mouth such a wonderful way to serve it. It was a fucking hot way to share this special love. Feeling it deep inside. Running our hands through it. Tasting it in each other’s mouths. Smelling it. Our shared juices. Our shared love.
I looked down at my boyfriend and said to him, “I love you, too.”
As we both drifted toward sleep, Justin said quietly, “I wish we'd have caught that last round on the cameras. You were so fucking hot. Later. We'll do it again later." And moments later he was snoring gently.
* * *
It was still early Sunday morning when I next awoke, or realized that I had been awake for some time. Lying there, running thoughts and questions through my mind. Mostly question. Who had outed me? And why? What if my parents heard about it? What were my friends going to think? The guys on the swim team? Would they avoid me or worse? Could I convince them it was all a lie? A mistake?
But as the questions swirled, I kept coming back to one question. Who had said I was gay? Was it Jess? Was it Jess? Was it Jess?
Had jealousy finally gotten the better of him when he realized that Justin and I were finally boyfriends? No. It was that we were the ones having the sex. The sex he wanted so badly to be having. He wanted it to be his cock up my ass instead of Justin's. His cock down my throat. His cum splattered on my face.
The more I thought about it the more I thought it was true. Other than Justin, and me, he was the only one who really knew. Mike didn't know our friends. Who would he tell to out me? And that waiter? Justin said he thought he might go to our school. That was a long shot. And who would believe a waiter who didn’t even know us?
But Jess had motive. Jess had the knowledge. Jess knew just when and how to do the most damage. And it looked to me like that's what he'd done.
Justin was waking and I hurried the process, pouring out my theory to him and letting my anger and fears show through. He listened. He asked questions. But he didn't rush to agreement. Instead, he said there was no evidence. Let’s just see what happens.
"Then why didn't he ask Ted more questions?" I responded. "Because he already knew the answers. He didn't want to probe into where the leak started, or with who, or when. None of that. Leave it vague. Cloak his guilt. The fucker."
I'd nail his faggot ass, I thought. And immediately realized . . . Thank god I hadn't said it out loud. Fuck my life!
I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to start cleaning up, using a warm, wet washcloth to try to wipe the cum off. It was in my hair. On my face. My chest. My pubes. Even on my feet. It was everywhere.
"Fuck this," I finally said in frustration. "I'll just take a shower."
Justin had followed me into the bathroom and had been watching as I tried to wash away the long night’s worth of our cum. "What's the rush? Come on back to bed. There's gonna be a lot more cum to clean up before we're finished. I'll put new disks in the cameras," he said.
"Fuck the cameras. I'm going home. I need to check my emails and see if anybody is saying anything. I've got to figure this out and find a way to stop it," I said.
"Stop it? Why? You were gonna have to come out anyway," Justin said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we couldn't exactly be boyfriends and sneak around the way we have been. If you had tried to do that, someone would have figured it out soon enough. It was bound to happen. Even before Jess called, I'd thought we'd probably start telling some of our closest friends, knowing it would naturally spread. Not a secret. Just information. We're queer. No big deal."
Justin delivered this whole idea with no emotion. Completely matter-of-fact.
"What the fuck are you talking about?” I said. “I can't come out now. What about my parents? My dad would kick me out of the fucking house if he thought I was gay. Then how the fuck would I pay for college? Where would I live? I can't just come out. My life isn't like yours."
"You could stay with me. My folks might not be crazy about the idea, but they wouldn't stop it. Not if you'd been kicked out. They know and . . . and mostly they don't care. Hell, they asked me if I was gay before I had a chance to even think about telling them."
"That's great for you. But I'm not you. Now I gotta get out of here cuz I got shit to do."
"We need to talk about this, Billy," Justin said.
"I'll be at your house this afternoon to meet Jess like we told him. And if I think he’s the fucker who did this . . .” I didn’t finish the thought. I just let it hang there. “After I’m done with him, we can talk."
"No, that's not soon enough. I'll clean up here and then come by your house. We can talk while you’re trying to figure things out. But you've got to know, I'm not going in the closet and I'm not going on without you if I can help it. So we better start figuring out how both of those things can happen."
I didn’t answer him. I just started for the door.
“You’re gonna need a ride,” I heard Justin say.
Suddenly the reality of my life seemed to overwhelm me. The realization that I was not in control of my own destiny. All my strength left me. I slumped to the living room floor and started to cry.
--
That's all for this week. We'll be back next Wednesday. As always, your feedback is appreciated and encouraged. Let us know what you think.
With the "proper" lighting, and "correct" angles, I would gladly give "Y'all" the Kids, that I don't have, and all of the tangible assests that I own, plus more than the $ that are in my, various, retirement/savings/checking accounts!! 
("Goodness" Bless credit cards!!) 
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
because i know that Jess wont tell everybody...
If you need a role model, try Jess 
and confusion.
Sometimes I think that's the only thing I'm really good at. 