I wake up in the night fondling my straight friend, NOT GOOD!

[meowdonuts]

So I have a very good straight friend (nothing more) that stays the night with me pretty often. I've suspected bisexuality and curiosity, considering he's tried to initiate sexual activity when he's drunk. I don't let it happen, unless I'm just as intoxicated. Sometimes when he stays the night, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to my hand on his dick. I get really freaked out and immediately pull away. I once woke up to me giving him a hand job. He's my friend, a close friend, I want this to stop. I even try masturbating in a another room before bed so I'm not horny in my sleep or anything. He's never said anything and continues to stay the night, but if he were to ever wake up during such a thing, I don't know how he would react, or if i would even be lucid enough to realize that he woke up. Can anybody give me some advice? I'm desperate and don't want to ruin a friendship.

 

[tonyboy]

So I have a very good straight friend (nothing more) that stays the night with me pretty often. I've suspected bisexuality and curiosity, considering he's tried to initiate sexual activity when he's drunk. I don't let it happen, unless I'm just as intoxicated. Sometimes when he stays the night, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to my hand on his dick. I get really freaked out and immediately pull away. I once woke up to me giving him a hand job. He's my friend, a close friend, I want this to stop. I even try masturbating in a another room before bed so I'm not horny in my sleep or anything. He's never said anything and continues to stay the night, but if he were to ever wake up during such a thing, I don't know how he would react, or if i would even be lucid enough to realize that he woke up. Can anybody give me some advice? I'm desperate and don't want to ruin a friendship.

Man.. you are gay.. your friend knows that.. at least I'd figure he does..
He probably is at least curious about that... could be he is gay too.

If he talks or inititates sexual activity when he's drunk, well he may just be not ready to declare he's gay..
And unless he is really, really drunk when he goes to bed with you.. well I figure he knows you have had your hand on his dick..

When I was like 19 I went to party given my the parents of my friend.. we were too young to drink, and of course they would not let us drive home.
So I shared the bed with Bobby ( the guy that had the party).. yeah, we were all teenagers and we got drunk.
anyway, I shared Bobbies bed... in the middle of the night, well he put his hand down my pants.. I know for a fact that he was straight as hell... he was just doing it in his sleep.. he was dreaming that he was with his g/f.. I pretened to be asleep..
and yeah, he was talking in his sleep... had his hand down my underwear.. and my dick was hard..
but he was really just dreaming..

I never mentioned it the next day.. and I know he never, ever realized what he did.
But in the case of you buddy... well if he sleeps with you, I figure he may just want to experiment with you.

You don't need advice my friend... you just stay buddies with this guy.
If he ever figures that you are 'attacking' him in the night, well I'm sure he will let you know..
perhaps he enjoys it.. maybe he doesn't not know what has happened.

Does he drink so much that he passes out?
I figure you will be fine man..
Are you out to him?
If so, well then you have an explanation to offer him if he does wake up to your holding his dick.. you just say 'hey man.. nothing personal, I just like to imagine holding a guys cock'.

don't worry too much.. and if you figure it will change your friendship, well have him sleep in a different bed than you do.

 

[Frosty]

Just don't sleep in the same bed anymore. To make sure even more, don't sleep in the same room.

 

[meowdonuts]

Man.. you are gay.. your friend knows that.. at least I'd figure he does..
He probably is at least curious about that... could be he is gay too.

If he talks or inititates sexual activity when he's drunk, well he may just be not ready to declare he's gay..
And unless he is really, really drunk when he goes to bed with you.. well I figure he knows you have had your hand on his dick..

When I was like 19 I went to party given my the parents of my friend.. we were too young to drink, and of course they would not let us drive home.
So I shared the bed with Bobby ( the guy that had the party).. yeah, we were all teenagers and we got drunk.
anyway, I shared Bobbies bed... in the middle of the night, well he put his hand down my pants.. I know for a fact that he was straight as hell... he was just doing it in his sleep.. he was dreaming that he was with his g/f.. I pretened to be asleep..
and yeah, he was talking in his sleep... had his hand down my underwear.. and my dick was hard..
but he was really just dreaming..

I never mentioned it the next day.. and I know he never, ever realized what he did.
But in the case of you buddy... well if he sleeps with you, I figure he may just want to experiment with you.

You don't need advice my friend... you just stay buddies with this guy.
If he ever figures that you are 'attacking' him in the night, well I'm sure he will let you know..
perhaps he enjoys it.. maybe he doesn't not know what has happened.

Does he drink so much that he passes out?
I figure you will be fine man..
Are you out to him?
If so, well then you have an explanation to offer him if he does wake up to your holding his dick.. you just say 'hey man.. nothing personal, I just like to imagine holding a guys cock'.

don't worry too much.. and if you figure it will change your friendship, well have him sleep in a different bed than you do.

Yes, he's well aware that I'm gay (everybody and their brother knows). I appreciate your advice though, I don't feel as freaked out anymore. Unfortunately, there's no other place for either of us to sleep when he stays with me. And in regard to the drinking, we both drink a fair amount and get hammered occasionally. I usually am aware of my actions when I'm drunk, but not sure about him. Everybody thinks he's gay and likes me a lot. sometimes he just comes over and stays the night, even when there's no reason to. I absolutely think he wants to fool around, but I don't want anything to happen when we're both not in the right state of mind. That's not fair to him, I wouldn't want that to happen to me. Time will tell I suppose, I've been trying to put more distance between us in the "spending the night" aspect. Thank you for your help man.

 

[USEDCAR]

When he comes over one of you sleep on the floor or sofa or you could stop getting drunk? i never heard of anything like this before

 

[evanrick]

 

[hylas]

i dont see the problem. hes coming on to you. hes doing it in a somewhat confused way, but believe me, hes very aware of what hes doing. hes probably neither asleep nor really that intoxinated.

you dont want this to go any further? tell him youre sorry but you dont feel that way, and stop letting him sleep over. you do want this to go further? go for it. why make such a fuzz?

 

[bankside]

If he tries to initiate sex with you when he is drunk, then the idea came from his own head. He's not exactly in command of that idea given he's hammered, but it is his idea.

So, being the gentleman that you are, you say with a big smile on your face "Dude we can pick up where we left off when the booze has worn off, but let's give it a break for the moment."

You say you want it to stop, so maybe I'm misreading you, but it also sounds like you enjoy him, you enjoy spending the night with him, you enjoy fooling around with him, but you just want to make sure he is in his right mind so he has no regrets.

That sounds like a good friendship, and maybe a good sexual friendship. But none of this has to necessarily end up screwing things up with your friendship.

Also I have friends I like to drink with, but I think it keeps all of us in a healthy balance when we do stuff together as friends that does not involve alcohol. I have friends I drink with, but not "drinking buddies" because I don't want alcohol to replace our friendship. Maybe invite him out for some other kind of good time once in a while?

 

[G-Lexington]

Hey, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, but I wake up when somebody's giving me a hand job. (Yes, it's happened.) Which makes me doubt he's simply sleeping through this all. Not only that, but most people are so uncoordinated when they sleep that they end up in strange positions, with their hands bent every which way. But somehow you can invariably find his crotch every night? I think there's only one way that's happening.

Your friend is putting it there.

Next time you wake up with your hand on his crotch, don't freak out. Just whisper "Hey" until he acknowledges your presence. Then ask. "My hand's on your crotch again. Do you mind?" When he says "no" (which he will), ask "Do you want it to do more than just sit there?"

Lex

 

[DafyddGeraint]

Alcohol is a depressent but it is also a drug. As such it acts like many drugs and changes the way your brain processes information. It slows down the electrical pulses jumping across your synapses - which is why you lose coordination, stability, you slur your words etc. But one of the key things that alcohol does is break down your inhibitions. There is an old Latin phrase In Vine Veritas - In wine there is truth. In other words you get someone drunk enough and you can get the truth out of them.

If your friend attempts to initiate sex when hes drunk then the likelihood is he wants to do it when hes sober but can't summon the courage or doesn't want to admit it to himself yet. Alcohol can reveal emotions and thoughts that we are not aware of because they are buried deep in our subconcious. But if he has got to the stage when he is coming to sleep the night in the bed next to you even with no obvious reason for him to do so - I think it might be beyond just his subconcious!

 

[Ambrocious]

Hey, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, but I wake up when somebody's giving me a hand job. (Yes, it's happened.) Which makes me doubt he's simply sleeping through this all. Not only that, but most people are so uncoordinated when they sleep that they end up in strange positions, with their hands bent every which way. But somehow you can invariably find his crotch every night? I think there's only one way that's happening.

Your friend is putting it there.

Next time you wake up with your hand on his crotch, don't freak out. Just whisper "Hey" until he acknowledges your presence. Then ask. "My hand's on your crotch again. Do you mind?" When he says "no" (which he will), ask "Do you want it to do more than just sit there?"

Lex

I would have to agree with you on this one...your friend is putting your hand there buddy. He wants to go farther...but do you? Your afraid of messing it up...but he doesn't seem to be afraid of this. I'm am almost 100 percent sure that all those times that your hand is winding up there is because of him...and he's pretending to be asleep.

 

[saymyname]

You two should just fuck.

 

[KaraBulut]

It seems that you have two choices here:

1. You can be adults and have a talk about this playing around that the both of you are doing... a talk when you're sober. And you can both come clean about what's really going on.
2. You can stop drinking together, stop sleeping in the same bed and both stop playing this game of pretending that the two of you aren't interested in playing with the other.

However, I suspect that you'll chose option #3:
.....3...Keep doing what you're both doing.

 

[rareboy]

^ I vote for option 3 as well.

It has a dramatic quality; a frisson if you will, that the other two alternatives just don't have.

Just admitting to each other that you'd like to play homo with the other just isn't that alluring. It lacks the essential, is he or isn't he? dilemma that these situations demand.

And of course, if the idea of not being a 3 beer queer or of not physically sleeping in the same bed hasn't occurred to the OP or his friend yet, it just isn't going to come to mind now.

So i like the third way.

Imagine all the possibilities?

 

[G-Lexington]

^ 3 votes for 3.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

PS Of course, we want to hear what happens no matter which option you choose!

 

[hotb0d]

have nobody told you? Your true self comes out when you're drunk. By the sound of your story...pretty sure he's willing to try something with you. Might as well go for it. fun time is good time

 

[texan_slant]

Um, you both willingly sleep in the same bed, and this has happened numerous times...

If either of you didn't want it that badly, you'd be sleeping in separate beds by now...

 

[seven_sins]

...Your friend is putting it there....

My thought exactly. You beat me to it Lex.

 

[LatinCoffee]

Meow...I think your friend likes you or is attracted to you and that is his way of being with you. One day, try talking to him about what happens when you are both drunk and let him know to see what he saids. If you feel uncomfortable--just let him know. Is either you lsoe a good friend or you have some good sex. Can't have both or maybe you can!