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I want it both ways

Well, I suppose that is one way to tell your friends.
 
Well, I suppose that is one way to tell your friends.

And a great way to determine which ones are your friends.
 
Yeow. I can certainly feel your dissapointment. But you did the right thing by being upfront and not letting yourself being walked over.

That guy is a pretty bad "friend" to begin with. I'd scratch him off my list. I'm just sad for you and your boyfriend it had to begin like this.

Maybe in a few days he'll come back once he's dealt with it but I certainly wouldn't want him back personally.
 
benlemieux2003 said:
Yeow. I can certainly feel your dissapointment. But you did the right thing by being upfront and not letting yourself being walked over.

That guy is a pretty bad "friend" to begin with. I'd scratch him off my list. I'm just sad for you and your boyfriend it had to begin like this.

Maybe in a few days he'll come back once he's dealt with it but I certainly wouldn't want him back personally.
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he actually apoligised today for what he said and said that it was just a shock and he didn't know how else to react.
 
Told ya. :) I'm happy it worked out. Don't worry some guys can be brutes, give 'em a few days and they'll love you for it.
 
So perhaps you're beginning to see that your fear of telling your friends about your sexuality because they are homophobic and might think you are gay is just another way of saying that you are homophobic too. If you didn't think there was something wrong with being gay you wouldn't be scared. But congratulations on making a positive first step and having the guts to open up a bit. Often, if you change your behaviour first then the change in attitude tags along behind.

I fully understand the risks in being out in a violent homophobic culture. And peer approval is a huge priority for an 18 year old. I'd like you to consider the difference betweem being discreet and being closeted. It's one thing to be gay in private and discreet in public, and quiet another to be gay in private and flaunt your heterosecuality in public to divert attention from what's in your heart.

Be wary of labelling yourself - once you describe yourself in a particular way you limit your possibilities according to how you, and others, understand the label. It's hard at 18 to recognise the possible repercussions of choices you make. Keep your options open, think first, and treat others with the respect you hope they would extend to you.
 
spreadeagle said:
So perhaps you're beginning to see that your fear of telling your friends about your sexuality because they are homophobic and might think you are gay is just another way of saying that you are homophobic too. If you didn't think there was something wrong with being gay you wouldn't be scared. But congratulations on making a positive first step and having the guts to open up a bit. Often, if you change your behaviour first then the change in attitude tags along behind.

I fully understand the risks in being out in a violent homophobic culture. And peer approval is a huge priority for an 18 year old. I'd like you to consider the difference betweem being discreet and being closeted. It's one thing to be gay in private and discreet in public, and quiet another to be gay in private and flaunt your heterosecuality in public to divert attention from what's in your heart.

Be wary of labelling yourself - once you describe yourself in a particular way you limit your possibilities according to how you, and others, understand the label. It's hard at 18 to recognise the possible repercussions of choices you make. Keep your options open, think first, and treat others with the respect you hope they would extend to you.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your input, it has made me think about somethings. We went for a meal last night on the coast, the first "proper" date. Finally managed to relax and not worry about what people were saying although that is probably down to knowing that the chances of knowing anyone there is very small. It's a start I suppose.
 
See the beauty of market economy countries is that business people (like restaurant owners and hotel owners) don't give a shit if you sleep with guys or girls as long as you pay for the services you use. Being accepting of gay people in restaurants is good because we're extra customers (that they wouldn't have in repressive societies) and generally we have more money so we tip more. So don't worry about what they might think, they're probably just glad you're spending bucks in their establishements :P
 
Aye, they didn't give a fuck that we were there as a couple, felt weird really. Suppose it's just new experiences as we go through life.
 
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