I want it raw so badly

[OhSoFancy]

I know its so awful but I think about raw sex all the time.
It's driving me crazy, I don't know how to stop fascinating about it.
I'm an HIV neg 20 y.o. and I want to stay that way... but I'm becoming obsessed with BB porn and wanting it so badly.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

Outside of finding a bf, which I'm constantly on the hunt for, a serious monogamous relationship.

Should I seek counseling? Is there a website for neg men like me who want to find exclusive partners?

Thanks

 

[Audio Tech]

I feel exactly the same way. It's driving me crazy! Someday I'll find someone who is also sane. Seems guys that WANT a safe relationship are very hard to find.

 

[OhSoFancy]

Finding a bf at my young age in San Francisco is really difficult, a lot of sex hookups. Which I don't mind, but I hate always being nervous for my next std test.

It doesnt help that I'm into older men too, and almost all the really hot stud older daddies are positive.

 

[milktea]

you can always have a sex buddy/best friend and run a blood test

 

[Audio Tech]

Not THIS one. I'm way to paranoid to gamble my life. Well, I'm not in Frisco, but it's nice to hear that SOME younger guys are looking for a bit more in life. But I bitch about the careless attitude I see in the Gay community here in LA on a regular basis. I HATE this city. But my life is here.

Well, anyway.... I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, this is the problem with BB porn- it eroticizes an activity that is not healthy.

Should you seek counseling for your fantasies? Not necessarily.

But if you're obsessed with something that you know is a high-risk activity, then you might want to consider counseling for obsessive-compulsive behaviors. Counseling is a hell of a lot cheaper than treating a course of HIV disease.

 

[bluedragon4]

I have a friend I hook up with and we always used condoms. The condom was hurting me so bad we slipped it off. WOW! What a huge difference! I trust him but won't be doing that again. I don't have anal sex that often or with strangers. And I just got tested a few weeks ago. It seems like once a year I get carried away and have BB sex with someone I am dating. It's like clockwork. I know what you are saying. I have a friend who never had BB sex and he is in his late 30's. I get being safe I really do. Have had friends die of AIDs. But you gotta try it at least once in your life. Just be careful who you pick to do it with. It is hard to get those worries out of your mind after.

 

[tommyj]

Finding a bf at my young age in San Francisco is really difficult, a lot of sex hookups. Which I don't mind, but I hate always being nervous for my next std test.

It doesnt help that I'm into older men too, and almost all the really hot stud older daddies are positive.

NOT this one!

 

[OhSoFancy]

Bare backing is not unhealthy.

Bare backing with strangers is.

Plus the urge for raw sex is quite independent of the porn. It has to do with the desire to get rid of the barriers and preoccupations and engage in untrammeled sex.

Well there is a huge trust factor in it all.
Lots of men cheat, its awful but I see it happen.

The best route is a regular FB or a BF.

 

[Willie Boy]

I feel exactly the same way. It's driving me crazy! Someday I'll find someone who is also sane. Seems guys that WANT a safe relationship are very hard to find.

No. We just have our partners already. I would suggest (as I have suggested to others) that you stop trying to make it happen, relax and go enjoy your hobbies. Be willing to make friends and see what comes of that. Don't try to rush into a sexual relationship then make it last, that's putting the cart before the horse. Find someone you are willing to spend time with, get to know him/her and build the relationship from there. Then when you get to sexual intercourse, you will have a solid foundation to support it.

 

[swerve]

My idea would be to spend some of your free time volunteering for an organization that helps those with HIV/AIDS...

Either a meal on wheels kind of thing -- or where they go and do the laundry, etc, etc...

You'll see a different perspective in REAL LIFE that SHOULD be more powerful than your porn driven fantasies...

Its IMPERATIVE that you and the rest of our community remain vigilant in trying to stop the spread of this horrible disease...

Be a GOOD citizen...

 

[bluedragon4]

My idea would be to spend some of your free time volunteering for an organization that helps those with HIV/AIDS...

Either a meal on wheels kind of thing -- or where they go and do the laundry, etc, etc...

You'll see a different perspective in REAL LIFE that SHOULD be more powerful than your porn driven fantasies...

Its IMPERATIVE that you and the rest of our community remain vigilant in trying to stop the spread of this horrible disease...

Be a GOOD citizen...

Oh, come on!!!! Don't do this. The guy wants to bareback. Have we not all tried it? Stop trying to make him feel bad about it. Not everyone who has barebacked has ended up in a hospice somewhere. Ugh!! No one is telling him to let a bunch of strangers cum up his ass. Why does it have to be so black and white?

 

[seven2go]

^ When YOU are riddled with AIDs I hope not ONE CENT of MY money gets spent saving your stupid sorry ass.

If everyone was like YOU we'd still be dealing with polio because you wouldn't advocate prevention.......

 

[propoolplayer99]

Oh, come on!!!! Don't do this. The guy wants to bareback. Have we not all tried it? Stop trying to make him feel bad about it. Not everyone who has barebacked has ended up in a hospice somewhere. Ugh!! No one is telling him to let a bunch of strangers cum up his ass. Why does it have to be so black and white?

Yeah, I agree with this guy. I mean, it's impossible to get HIV your first time.

 

[OhSoFancy]

No. We just have our partners already. I would suggest (as I have suggested to others) that you stop trying to make it happen, relax and go enjoy your hobbies. Be willing to make friends and see what comes of that. Don't try to rush into a sexual relationship then make it last, that's putting the cart before the horse. Find someone you are willing to spend time with, get to know him/her and build the relationship from there. Then when you get to sexual intercourse, you will have a solid foundation to support it.

Good point. thanks.

 

[bluedragon4]

^ When YOU are riddled with AIDs I hope not ONE CENT of MY money gets spent saving your stupid sorry ass.

If everyone was like YOU we'd still be dealing with polio because you wouldn't advocate prevention.......

OMG!!! Can you read?!!!!!!!! I didn't say go out and let strangers fuck you!!!! I hate when motherfuckers on here do this. Pisses me off to no end. I never advocated that he should do that. I have had friends and loved ones get AIDs and die. You don't know me at all. AIDs had brought a lot of misery into my life. Your response was so uncalled for and pissed me off so much you are lucky you are not standing in front of me . I would beat the living fuck out of you!! I have only had BB sex with TRUSTED partners. In 22 years of being out I have had less than a dozen anal sex partners. Don't pretend you know me or my experiences.

 

[bluedragon4]

Yeah, I agree with this guy. I mean, it's impossible to get HIV your first time.

Um, what does that have to do with what I said? If you are gonna respond to me than do it with something that I addressed. I never advocated that. I think you banged your head against the wall to hard. Once again I don't think having Bareback sex with a TRUSTED partner is a bad thing. I was in a 5 year monogamous relationship. You don't think it's ok to bareback under those circumstances? You may be a dirty whore who thinks that a trick equals bareback but I am not that way. I guess we all know where your mind is.

 

[KaraBulut]

I was in a 5 year monogamous relationship.

Not really. If I didn't already have a pragmatic view of human nature, these forums would have made me pessimistic about human nature.

There's more that a few "I'm cheating on my partner with..." and "I caught my partner cheating..." threads here.

And statistically, we're seeing exponential increases in HIV, syphilis, anal warts and rectal gonorrhea in the past 10 years since the PnP and barebacking fad started.

HIV infection isn't as ugly and miserable as it once was. But it's still not a picnic. Why it is that anyone would want to risk the months and years of managing an HIV infection for a few minutes of pleasure is inexplicable... as if fucking without a condom is so much different than fucking with one.

 

[palemale]

I'm relatively new to sex with men, and I am truly alarmed at the amount of barebacking that goes on. The lack of precautions so many gay men take is alarming. I've noticed on hook-up sites and xtube, and here, that it is rampant. I had a friend who died of AIDS a few years ago. He contracted it from the first man he had sex with, and the guy was married. I know a young guy who recently became HIV+. I am just mystified by it. In the absence of a committed, monogamous relationship, I don't get why anyone would risk having unprotected sex. Guys who have unprotected sex otherwise are insane, reckless and a menace.

 

[bluedragon4]

Not really. If I didn't already have a pragmatic view of human nature, these forums would have made me pessimistic about human nature.

There's more that a few "I'm cheating on my partner with..." and "I caught my partner cheating..." threads here.

And statistically, we're seeing exponential increases in HIV, syphilis, anal warts and rectal gonorrhea in the past 10 years since the PnP and barebacking fad started.

HIV infection isn't as ugly and miserable as it once was. But it's still not a picnic. Why it is that anyone would want to risk the months and years of managing an HIV infection for a few minutes of pleasure is inexplicable... as if fucking without a condom is so much different than fucking with one.

I also agree with the poster under this original post that you wouldn't tell a straight couple to use a condom for the duration of their long term relationship. Anything could happen you are right. But you have to pick the right partner. My 5 year relationship ended 2 years ago and I just had a test and am negative. So he didn't give me AIDs. Maybe you have been burned and cheated on many many times but not everyone is like that. You really think you can use a condom for 5 years in a monogamous relationship? You have some major trust issues than. I get into long term relationships so I can be safe with that person and NOT use a condom. And I am not advocating hooking up with a stranger by saying this but bareback does feel completely different. Condoms hurt my ass like I can't tell you. It's like someone is shoving a balloon up my ass. Raw does make a difference. Do I bareback with strangers? HELL NO!I went 7 years with no anal sex once because I was single that long. From what I understood the thread was started by a guy who was looking for a monogamous relationship so he could bareback. He didn't say a thing about having a one night bareback stand. So how did this forum get about hooking up with strangers? I got told some hurtful things above for advocating a monogamous relationship? I hate to see what would have been said to me if I said anything else to him.