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I want my old life back.

Get the marriage back on track. She's a hell of a woman. If there can't be a management of the worlds, then you need to let her go as she is willing to let you go too.
 
sixthson said:
I think this is the most significant part of your post, because she notices (and you agree) that it is not just about her, it's about the entire family. Since you have had lots of family issues, including a dying, negative mother and losing a house, perhaps you are happier away from all that, as well? Going to your bf is like a vacation. Returning home brings painful memories of all kinds.
I cannot help but believe you will be unhappy no matter what you decide to do because you have not dealt with underlying issues.
This is about more than your sexuality, in my opinion.
Click to expand...
Thanks everyone for the imput. Yes I am seeing a therapist, a specialist in end of life caregiver burn-out. I really appreciate all the kind words.
 
This is what happened in my life, wanting to stay married to my wife, staying with my children, but falling for a couple if guys and having them fall for me. Fast forward 30 years and my husband and I will celebrate our 31st anniversary next year shortly after we are due to be grandfathers. My son who lives with us has mild to mid autism. My ex-wife is part of our extended family. Life is good.

Change is scary, but it's also a catalyst for growth. Therapy is the way to go to help you sort things out.

You deserve a life as does your wife as does your boyfriend. No of you ought to settle or be short changed.

The kids will be fine as long as their parents are content. Sadness can be handled.

Best wishes.
 
Things are going to stay as they are. Me stay married and have a boyfriend. I'm not hiding anything from anyone and the only one who seems to have issues is me. She knows I'm happy spending time with him and seems to be ok (more or less). He knows how much my family means to me and is mostly ok with it too. They both realize that the marriage cannot end in divorce and I am slowly resigning myself to this fact too. Everything really is out of our control, so I just keep rolling with the punches.
 
It's not my business to judge, and you will do what you will do. But to me, this is a poisonous and ultimately disingenuous situation, whatever any of the people in it tell themselves they feel or think about it.
 
I can't leave so things will have to stay as they are. The bf knew my situation fron the get go and was, and still is ok with it. He prefers a p/t relationship as he also enjoys his space too. The wife too likes some space so is ok. I just think I'm the one with issues on the weirdness.
 
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