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I want to top more :(

S

SuperDave

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I'm in a relationship and I want to top more :( My partner knows but he has IBS so it makes bottoming hard for him. He's been great and done it before (the sad part is he REALLY wants to bottom) but the last few times hes had 'accidents' or its been to painful so i've kinda stopped asking. We've tried threesomes but we both just get too jealous (though he'd never admit to that :P) I just dunno what to do :(
 
I don't really see what you could possibly do in this situation. I mean, the other option is to set very strict jealousy-preventing rules and for you to hook up with randomers for casual sex every once in a while. It's not ideal, but it will satisfy your needs, and that might help prevent your relationship from eroding.
 
I have IBS. There are some simple things you can do to deal with it.

Figure out your diet, for one. For me, eating one banana a day is beneficial. But that may not work for someone else. Also IBS often has cycles. I know when I shouldn't, and when I can.

And I rinse my ass out, problem solved.

IBS is no excuse. Pain? Well, if you WANT it, and go slow, there won't be any. And you DO have to get used to it...
 
Rolyo85 said:
I don't really see what you could possibly do in this situation. I mean, the other option is to set very strict jealousy-preventing rules and for you to hook up with randomers for casual sex every once in a while. It's not ideal, but it will satisfy your needs, and that might help prevent your relationship from eroding.
Click to expand...

Yeah I guess, I agree there doesnt seem much I can do. I love to bottom for my partner and its never a problem, and trust me it will never erode our relationship but sometimes I get a real urge to top (and my bf also gets a real urge to bottom but lately has been a bit iffy with his IBS)

I have IBS. There are some simple things you can do to deal with it.

Figure out your diet, for one. For me, eating one banana a day is beneficial. But that may not work for someone else. Also IBS often has cycles. I know when I shouldn't, and when I can.

And I rinse my ass out, problem solved.

IBS is no excuse. Pain? Well, if you WANT it, and go slow, there won't be any. And you DO have to get used to it...
Click to expand...

Well its not really an excuse.. hes bottomed for me before and really enjoyed it but as I said lately its a bit iffy, we tried it and he literally tried everything to enjoy it but he had to pull out.. maybe things will change after his endoscopy..
 
It's a very good sign that you're working on this together and that he is still trying to get answers. Hopefully his doctor and the doctor's assistants are sensitive to the gay issues that accompany the syndrome. If not try the internet or local and national support groups.
 
It will be interesting to see the results of his colonoscopy.

IBS can be managed to the point where anal sex is possible. And most people with IBS know when they're in a period when their IBS is in a flare-up.

More severe conditions like chronic colitis and Crohn's disease are impediments to receptive anal sex. Hopefully that's not what his condition will prove to be.
 
your status says open relationship. does that mean he's ok with you doing other people?
 
SuperDave said:
Yeah I guess, I agree there doesnt seem much I can do. I love to bottom for my partner and its never a problem, and trust me it will never erode our relationship but sometimes I get a real urge to top (and my bf also gets a real urge to bottom but lately has been a bit iffy with his IBS)



Well its not really an excuse.. hes bottomed for me before and really enjoyed it but as I said lately its a bit iffy, we tried it and he literally tried everything to enjoy it but he had to pull out.. maybe things will change after his endoscopy..
Click to expand...

IBS can be a tricky, sucky, thing to manage. Please keep in mind that your boyfriend quite likely is trying his best to satisfy you, but is also concerned about being a "good bottom". Assuming he can get on an eating, medication, exercise, routine that minimizes his IBS symptoms he most likely will be able to bottom no problem. However, that may take him many months, or more than a year to achieve (if ever). Please be patient with him and realize that he's probably feeling very frustrated too not being able to satisfy you. That said, I'm sure you two can find an alternative to keep your sexual desires sated using a little creativity and compromise.
 
My bf and I are having the same problem :/ it just depends on how much you love each other
 
KaraBulut said:
It will be interesting to see the results of his colonoscopy.

IBS can be managed to the point where anal sex is possible. And most people with IBS know when they're in a period when their IBS is in a flare-up.

More severe conditions like chronic colitis and Crohn's disease are impediments to receptive anal sex. Hopefully that's not what his condition will prove to be.
Click to expand...

I'm scared it's Crohn's.. its in his family and genetic but im not sure. We'll just have to see..

hotatlboi said:
your status says open relationship. does that mean he's ok with you doing other people?
Click to expand...

Kinda.. I should change it really. It's very difficult and we're exclusive atm..

Seasoned said:
It's a very good sign that you're working on this together and that he is still trying to get answers. Hopefully his doctor and the doctor's assistants are sensitive to the gay issues that accompany the syndrome. If not try the internet or local and national support groups.
Click to expand...

Thanks Seasoned <3 I'll try it. I'm thinking about some kind of support group, mainly because I have a whole bunch of issues anyway.

Enduster said:
IBS can be a tricky, sucky, thing to manage. Please keep in mind that your boyfriend quite likely is trying his best to satisfy you, but is also concerned about being a "good bottom". Assuming he can get on an eating, medication, exercise, routine that minimizes his IBS symptoms he most likely will be able to bottom no problem. However, that may take him many months, or more than a year to achieve (if ever). Please be patient with him and realize that he's probably feeling very frustrated too not being able to satisfy you. That said, I'm sure you two can find an alternative to keep your sexual desires sated using a little creativity and compromise.
Click to expand...

I know sweets. Theres a lot of concern. I just get frustrated sometimes. Today im not even bothered for instance, lol.

We'll work it out but its nice to have some opinions on here, to set me straight (tehe) but yea we'll hopefully work it out. Thanks peeps :D
 
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