Not proud. But my now ex-wife went away to see her parents and then was bringing them back for the weekend. My father-in-law was a keen gardener and had previously given me some young plants to grow on, including runner beans and courgettes.
I'd never had cock before and was gagging for it. So whilst the wife was away, I bought some gay porn mags, wanked and fingered my ass. But I wanted more. So, I went into the garden and picked the right sized courgette for my virgin ass, lubed it up and fucked myself with it. Amazing. For the first time ever I had a prostate orgasm and shot loads too.
Six hours later, wife and in-laws are back at our house. Prior to their return, my job was to prepare dinner. Lamb, roast potatoes and veg. Veg was courgette and runner beans.
I sat at the table and watched them eat. "How's the lamb?". "How's the home-grown veg?" I asked. I squirmed as they ate the courgette I had had up my ass only a few hours ago. Sick or what?
Later, my wife cheated on me. I found out and finally got a reason to divorce her. Although I was the "innocent party" her family were nevertheless mean to me. So, in the years that followed I used to laugh that the fuckers had eaten my ass-stained courgette.
PS. Soon got the real thing, cock-wise, and never looked back. Nor have I had to resort to a courgette again. I have had a guy, a "keeper", for the last 12 years and lots of extra cock too. With mutual consent.