If the above poster was arrested, what would they be arrested for?

[Vitamin]

Dry humping his alma mater's mascot live on ESPN during March Madness.

 

[dereperez]

Adding his personal cream to the coffee he serves at Starbucks.

 

[ronboy]

Being too handsome and sexy...

 

[sixthson]

^for impersonating one of The Village People

 

[Willie Boy]

Masturbating in Obama's coffee

He asked me to!

^for impersonating one of The Village People

For being one of the Village People.

 

[Vitamin]

For wearing white after Labor Day.

 

[Alnitak]

For stealing a leg of lamb from the supermarket.

 

[RalphQ]

Having sex with a stolen leg of lamb in the parking lot of the supermarket.

 

[sixthson]

^for eating that leg of lamb afterwards.

 

[palbert]

Mowing the yard early Sunday morning

 

[Willie Boy]

Blowing Scotland Yard (all of them) every morning!

 

[Vitamin]

Posting the video of palbert blowing SY...every morning.

 

[Willie Boy]

Drooling over said video.

 

[Vitamin]

Drooling over live sex at St Peter's Basilica.

 

[Willie Boy]

Drooling over dead sex at same location.

 

[Vitamin]

Masturbating to the Sistine Chapel ceiling during a papal mass.

 

[Willie Boy]

Masturbating during a pap smear!

 

[Vitamin]

Going to the doctor for a pap smear, and refusing to leave no matter how many times the doctor explains he doesn't have the right parts.

 

[sixthson]

for promoting Skittles as a remedy for wrinkly penises.

 

[Vitamin]

for promoting Skittles as a remedy for wrinkly penises.

You too, can taste the rainbow for the ultra-low price of $199!

Sixthson would be arrested for attempting to have sex with a motorized vehicle, a specific crime in his region.