If you cheated on your partner. Would you confess?

[M4P]

My spouse and I agreed a few years ago to open up our relationship with a couple of rules

Don't as and don't tell

Not in our home

It works. I don't know if he's playing around and he isn't aware of the few times I have

 

[mbamike]

No, I wouldn't say anything. The bigger question is why was it necessary to cheat? Sounds like the relationship is in trouble.

 

[MascutarHero]

My boyfriend cheated and confessed, I did too, and confessed, so yeah, I did it for revenge which didn't make me feel any better and lowered my self esteem, very immature on my part, my boyfriend has done so much to gain my trust again, as for me, my boyfriend forgave me and said "So what babe, its the past lets move on and make our future better" I love him so much!!!! <3

 

[Jayden]

My boyfriend cheated and confessed, I did too, and confessed, so yeah, I did it for revenge which didn't make me feel any better and lowered my self esteem, very immature on my part, my boyfriend has done so much to gain my trust again, as for me, my boyfriend forgave me and said "So what babe, its the past lets move on and make our future better" I love him so much!!!! <3

I would forgive my guy as well.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

In a parallel universe where i'd forget how it feels to be cheated on enough to do it to someone else, yes, I would confess.

And I would expect him to leave me right then and there, because if the roles were reversed, I would do the same.

 

[FanofFiction]

YOur partner deserves to know. It's really not about what you want or what you get out of by being honest. If you love the person, you give them whatever you can; that includes honesty.

If they leave you, that's their perrogative. But I can't imagine holding back something that they have a right to know.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

To me that is a very good reason for why if you still love your partner, yet for some reason cheated, it's best not to tell them.
A lesbian couple that I know broke up because one of them cheated. The cheater admitted that it was a onetime horrible mistake but the other woman felt that the trust was so broken that she couldn't continue in the relationship even though she loved her very much.
And now they're both alone and miserable.
I don't see how the admittance in this case made anything better.

Everyone has their things - if you say you want to be monogamous with me and can't do it, then I need to find someone that's both willing and able to go that route. So I can't disagree with her choice just because the outcome was bittersweet.

Having been on just the one side, twice(being cheated on), I am of course biased about it. I'd rather you leave me or opt for an open relationship, than go outside the monogamy that was mutually wanted trolling for ass. I believe in mistakes... but there's a difference between a kiss and going back to his house to fuck or get fucked.

 

[undiesinabunch]

Wow, that's very judgmental of you.

I wouldn't say anything. If I cheated, I was clean, and it didn't happen again, I don't see the problem.

I myself wouldn't cheat but I don't judge either.

You say that like it's a bad thing? I'd rather be judgmental than have your "morals"

 

[72-Jay]

There's allot of responses here I'm happy to read. All those where people say they wouldn't cheat, but *if* by chance it happened they would tell.

---------
If I was ever cheated on I seriously doubt I could forgive, and I think that would be the end of the relationship. Which means I'd end up heartbroken and thats one of my fears when it comes to relationships (pretty much I know I couldn't take it...for that I'm glad I've always been single & never experienced it)

I would hope that the relationship would be ended before it got to the point where either of us were tempted to cheat.

I'm with you on that. (but I think for me pretty much any breakup of a true relationship would end up in heartbreak...)

I just need to suck some dick and get a blowjob from other guys. Is that cheating? What do you think?

Yep to me that would be cheating, but I would consider anything sexual as cheating. (that being said a hug or a little kiss I wouldn't call cheating)

 

[Knucklehead]

Well this thread made me feel like a giant piece of shit... :

Don't sweat the Miss Penny Purepussies on this thread,Derek..Half the people on this board are sanctimonious assholes who,like most sanctimonious assholes, probably do the same thing they wag their finger at you about,while they preach about ''their morals.''

Shit happens,you owned it and you took your lumps.Of course though, the queens in this thread would have you believe they never got drunk and did shit they regret.They were probably volunteering at a shelter for displaced rabbits or something..I swear to God ,dude, some of them make me wanna puke in my mouth.

 

[palbert]

Neither of us did (over 17 years).

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

Don't sweat the Miss Penny Purepussies on this thread,Derek..Half the people on this board are sanctimonious assholes who,like most sanctimonious assholes, probably do the same thing they wag their finger at you about,while they preach about ''their morals.''

Shit happens,you owned it and you took your lumps.Of course though, the queens in this thread would have you believe they never got drunk and did shit they regret.They were probably volunteering at a shelter for displaced rabbits or something..I swear to God ,dude, some of them make me wanna puke in my mouth.

I like you and I really like E_P(even moreso, I swear he's date-able and I've made that abundantly clear), so I say this out of love.

Some of us know how to control ourselves, drunk or not(I have only been drunk once in my life, and all I did was throw up several times, stumble home in the snow with a friend and go to bed - even in a drunken stupor I have pretty good control and an even better memory). Some of us know that mistakes are made and to move on from them. And some of us just have things that we can't forgive - mine would be cheating, because as explained, I have been cheated on twice. Get up, get over it, puke if you must, but call me sanctimonious or a Miss Penny Purepussy again and I swear I'll rip your head off.

K?

 

[bankside]

I don't understand why someone who would betray his relationship would then suddenly become honest about it.

I suppose, "personal growth?"

But the question doesn't quite compute in my brain. It's like saying "Would you turn yourself in after robbing a bank?"

Oh yes, definitely. I'd rob the bank, and then head straight to the nearest police station to turn myself in.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

Are you serious right now, bankside?

^^ I mean, really?

I thought you were a bit more intelligent than to make such a terrible comparison. wow...

Me too. I usually find his posts to be exactly what I am thinking, but better stated. I really don't see how his analogy fits the scenario described for a relationship...

 

[spiderpig1013]

if i did it would have to be someone that would make him say "oh i get why you did it, even i would do it!" otherwise... there's no point. If my partner cheated on me, i would instead be very upset he didn't invite me to the party, but as i said, if its a cheat up, maybe i can let it slide, but if its a cheat down, then see ya bud.

 

[Brtyui]

ive cheated quite a few times in the past. there isnt really an excuse for it, maybe only reason i could think was it just wasnt working out with the person within the relationship.. i did own up to my deeds, thou if its not working out with someone i try to talk to the person now a days. i mean if they are trust worthy to be in a relationship with u then the least u can do is be honest with them. i do try.

 

[leomendez93]

To get to the point of cheating, there are a lot of factors influencing the action. Cheating is rarely one sided. Would I forgive? Of course if I take ownership of my participation on it. Yet, if I was just with an asshole who is taking me for granted, fuck it.. no way. I am out. I respect myself enough for this shit.

 

[Paws]

Isn't this a topic that should be discussed between the two at the start of a relationship?

 

[Latimer]

My partner encourages me to "cheat", and then wants to hear everything, but I'd rather not talk about it.

I don't encourage my partner to "cheat", but when he does, he wants to tell me everything, but I'd rather not hear about it.

On the other hand, I get off watching him fuck another guy, and he gets off watching me get fucked.

I'm sure there are contradictions here, but it all works.

Can't imagine we'd still be with each other today--after 13 years--if we didn't allow each other to have a great deal of sex with others...

 

[bankside]

Are you serious right now, bankside?

^^ I mean, really?

I thought you were a bit more intelligent than to make such a terrible comparison. wow...

Duhhheeeeeee, guess not...

Me too. I usually find his posts to be exactly what I am thinking, but better stated. I really don't see how his analogy fits the scenario described for a relationship...

Mkay then explain it to me. I suppose it is wrong of me to trivialize the betrayal of a loved one by comparing it to an everyday armed robbery, but it's just an analogy.