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If you could change...

L

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I've been reading some of the coming out stories and it got me thinking about my own coming out experience. It went better than I could have hoped for but thinking back on it I wish I had come out years sooner.

Is there anybody else here who wishes they had come out differently or at a different time?
 
It would've been nice to have KNOWN that I was gay earlier. I started wondering at age 20, decided it was so around age 22, and came out around age 24.

I came out to my sister first. She was unbeliveably cool about it, and offered to "break the news" to everybody else in the family. I was chickenshit enough to take her up on the offer. I kinda wish I hadn't done it that way, but it all turned out OK.

Lex
 
Most guys who come out say they wish it happened sooner but I'm sure there are some who wish they never had done it.

I've only come out to some select friends and coworkers. I don't know if I could ever come out to my family but I've given enough evidence for some of them to figure it out (finding gay porn in my internet history). =/
 
FirePhoenix said:
Yes.... I wish I told my parents years ago.

So much lost time worrying :(
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Yeah you are right Fire... its the one thing I regret most. I spent a third of alife time trying to convince myself otherwise when I knew damn well... and at 33 I wasted too much hiding.

But the guy has to be ready... it cant be forced and its a very individual thing. Theres no right or wrong... As long as the outcome is good and one of love and acceptance then theres nothing that anyone need change...

The stories on this site alone are enough to make you burst with pride a the strength and courage amongst us.
 
So far I've come out to a slowly increasing group of friends and my brother, and I am glad I waited as long as I did (out of high school and into college). I think some of my friends would have been harder to tell in high school due to a lack of maturity. I would have liked to come out to my parents earlier, though... I'm planning to do that over the summer.

On a side note, I still haven't told anyone without imbibing heavily prior to the conversation. Hopefully I won't have to do that with my parents.
 
I haven't come out yet, and I couldn't have even come out if I wanted to even a year ago because I was in such deep denial, but I'm only 22 and feel like I've missed out on so much since I've never been in a relationship. So many of my friends have gotten married it makes me sick...

If I could change anything it would be stumbling onto gay online forums like this in high school and admitting I was gay and possibly coming out after graduating HS before I started college. Wow this is depressing haha
 
kramer362 said:
If I could change anything it would be stumbling onto gay online forums like this in high school and admitting I was gay and possibly coming out after graduating HS before I started college. Wow this is depressing haha
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Ha ha, well old farts like me wish we even had an Internet 25 years ago. I would've come out 25 years ago. Should've.

Oddly enough I had the courage to reject my family's religion and become an atheist when I was 12( ! ), but was too chicken shit to admit I was gay until my 40's. Go figure.
 
kramer362 - Life is just beginning for you, you haven't missed anything and the time will hopefully make you wiser. Relationships are great, but they also take a lot of work. Enjoy your youth, be safe and look out the windshield, not out the rear view mirror.
 
I guess I don't regret anything, although with the benefit of hindsight it would have been easier had I come out earlier. But coming out in the 80's or early nineties was a far lot different than it is today. The AIDS crisis was still in full bloom and ignorance around it was astounding. I watched a couple of gay people I knew treated like lepers. But I also figured I owed it not only to myself but to others to "come out". Those in the Stonewall marches of the 70's risked life and liberty to be out.

Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I hope that within another generation or two being gay will be no big deal. Much like choosing which college or university you go to. Historically humans have always embraced homosexuality as a legitimate alternative until the Puritanical surge following the Victorian close mindedness.

Ancient Aztec, Mayan, Greek, Roman, American Indian, and Japanese Samurai culture all embraced and cherished gay people. It was as normal as a blue sky. This hate of homosexuality is a recent phenomenon and one I hope ends soon.
 
Nope. :) Nothing I would change. I had it pretty easy, I guess.
 
I wish I could have done it sooner but circumstances prevented me from doing so

I waited until I was 25 and wished I would have done so at 21 when I wanted to
 
I was forced out when I was 17. My parents were not home and I had a guy over. They came home and the caught us in my bedroom. My mom and dad just pretend like it never happened. Obviously they know Im gay but it is honestly like they gave me the 'window seat' in terms of family now.

I honestly think that moment scared me for life but we learn to deal with things we cannot change.

So yeah, my coming out story is pretty bad. Don't let my story discourage you though.
 
I wish I did this back in high school and stood up t all the rumours and teasing I had to undergo. I did fight back, but I knew I was attracted to guys since I was 11. I wasn't seeking a relationship or sex with a guy at all, so I refused to come out. At least now that I'm open about being bisexual, I can inspire others to be strong and proud of themselves.
 
I came out at a ripe old age of 27. I wish I came out in college. I think I would have enjoyed college in a different way. I think I was too worried what my college friends would think, and was also worried that my parents would flip out and stop paying for school. Alas, I'm glad I'm out, but wish I had done it years sooner. Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda...right?!
 
I wish I would of came out in my sophmore year in high school. This way I didn't have to hide and I could of been less of a lonner. But the past is the past, right? It took me till a year ago to come out and I'm not even fully out. Hopefully I can muster the courage soon.
 
I woulda came out a year sooner. I came out midway through grade 12. I went from just having a few friends to being very well known and popular somehow. I really don't know why. Maybe it's because I was the first one in my school to come out, ever. Another kid in grade 10 shortly followed.

The only thing I DO regret is not making any moves on any guys, even ones I knew were gay until university.
 
volcom1206 said:
People see teenagers coming out (by and large my parents have this view) as not fully understanding themselves. They are just confused. As an adult, this bullshit doesn't fly.
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Exactly. Coming out as an adult, people don't really say dumb things like, "Are you sure?", "Have you tried having sex with a woman?", etc. But then you do feel weird as an adult because you just know people are wondering why you didn't come out before.

Basically, come out as soon as (1) you're safe from violence, and (2) you're financially independent.
 
Mine went amazingly better than i thought. I do wish I had come out sooner than 20, lol i have know since 10ish.
 
Lube said:
Exactly. Coming out as an adult, people don't really say dumb things like, "Are you sure?", "Have you tried having sex with a woman?", etc. But then you do feel weird as an adult because you just know people are wondering why you didn't come out before.

Basically, come out as soon as (1) you're safe from violence, and (2) you're financially independent.
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I'm came out at 23 and people still asked me if I was sure.
 
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