If you could choose to be straight or gay, what would it be?

[smile86]

if you had asked me when i was discovering my sexuality i would definitely have said i want to be straight, i want to be normal

fortunately i've learnt. i love men, i love having sex with men, i wouldn't change that. also i have an amazing boyfriend, if i weren't gay i wouldn't have him

 

[smaq44]

Most gay people would not change their sexual orientation even if they could. They are happy with who they are. Their distress is not caused by their same sex attraction; it is caused by a hostile social environment and the homonegativity they’ve internalized from it. Reference: Bell & Weinberg, 1978, Homosexualities: A study of diversity among men and women.

A gay adolescent ought to be able to write love notes to another guy with the same ease as his hetero classmate does. A gay man ought to be able to walk down the streets of Wichita, Kansas and openly flirt with another man with the same social constraints as a hetero guy walking down the same street might flirt with a woman. Society is abusing gay people when it does not support their equal right to court, date, and show affection toward other men as it enthusiastically supports hetero men in the pursuit of women. If gay men are 10% of the population, then one out of every 10 Hooters should have buff guys in wet T-shirts waiting tables.

Mac (Proud to be gay)

 

[spreadeagle]

Straight or gay.

 

[Soilwork]

Not like it matters.

I'd choose to be tall long before choosing my sexual orientation.

But vaginas are ikky and girls are annoying. Gay all the way.

 

[skaterboi]

Straight, not happy being gay feels like im in a room thats slowly getting smaller and suffocating me. And the only way out of this rooms to ask for help which means accepting myself for who I am. I've been so close to seeking advice from a gay friend about my sexuality but then it means letting someone in on my secret and once someone else knows its no longer in my control and that scares this shit out of me. (mind you I made the mistake yesterday of saying to my brother down the phone that some lass way hot for a girl..... doh!)

 

[boy-i-wanna-make-u-sweat]

I've been so close to seeking advice from a gay friend about my sexuality but then it means letting someone in on my secret and once someone else knows its no longer in my control and that scares this shit out of me.

If you trust them enough to know that they won't do or say anything that you ask them not to, then please do go ahead and seek that advice. I know from experience (as I'm sure many others here do) that telling a trusted friend (gay, straight, bi, whatever), letting it out, and then having someone to talk to is a fantastically liberating experience. It will lift a lot of that weight from your shoulders.

 

[Lube]

I think if the question was worded "would you rather have been born x, y, or z", the VAST majority would pick straight. You all make it seem that since you are happy with the way you are now (which is great), you would not be happier as a straight man. It is a lot easier to live as a straight person. Personally, I think it's bullsh*t when people say that going through hard times "made me a stonger person" and therefore it was worth it.

My boyfriend is deaf. Most deaf people I know have absolutely no desire to be hearing.

So why is being gay different than being deaf?

And what about being deaf gay? Or what about being deaf-blind and gay?

I used to want to be "just like everyone else", but gave up that desire. It would be too boring.

 

[AaronG]

I didn't pick a poll answer, because I'm really conflicted on this one. My sister's getting married next fall, and my other sister is expecting her third kid. Being surrounded by all this hetero family business kinda makes me wish I could follow that stereotypical path too. Also, you already know the crap about closet stress, etc. A few years ago, I would have switched teams in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, a lot of things about myself I'm most proud of (like empathy, avoiding judgement, for example), I believe are inextricably bound up with my sexuality and the experiences I've had surrounding it. It's not like you can tear out something like that and leave everything else intact.

Am I happy with my gayness? Not consistently, in fact most of the time probably not. But would I choose to change? I don't think so.

 

[halubtsi]

This is a tough call, since we don't "choose" in the first place. However, if I HAD to choose, I would choose either Gay or Straight, depending on the situation.

If you took all of my experiences to date, erased all of it and I had no experience on which to base my decision I'd choose to be straight.

Based on what I know now and having acknowledged the person that I have become as a result of my being gay, I would choose to be gay. I am proud of who I am as a person. Being gay is just another part of me, like my brown eyes and black hair. I'm a full course gourmet meal with no substitutions. You have to take me as I am. I'm not a buffet.

Since we don't operate in an historical vacuum and I won't discount all of my life experiences, I voted "gay."

 

[nihilis]

I know it's not a choice, but were I able to have been born straight I'd have done so. Maybe it's the position I'm in, still not being out and living at home, but I don't even know if I have the balls to live this way now, and if I could change it I would. I applaud the people who are so comfortable with themselves that it really doesn't matter. I'm not one of those people, and I don't know if I ever have or ever will be comfortable in my own skin as a gay man. If everyone around me knows, accepts, and doesn't make a big deal of it, I'll still feel separate, and that really sucks.

 

[JamieC2003]

im perfectly happy being gay thanks

 

[Singtoh1]

Well, I have been thinking about that alot aswell.. although being straight would make a lot of things easier no doubt, I'd never want to be straight. I love being who I am which in my case is gay, and I'm proud of it (at times it can be very hard to show it, at least for me) but I would never ever want to change my sexual orientation, even if I could.

Gay, gay all the way ! lol

I second that! My life would have been alot different if I was str8. For one I wouldn't have been kicked out of two schools, my father would like me (Tho I dont care cuz he is a dick), and I probly would have had friends in school but all in all everyone around me back then were discriminating jerks that get whatever they deserve in life I dont think I would change because I think I would be an extremely different person one that I wouldnt have like at all

 

[Rick18]

I'm somewhat grateful that I'm gay. I think it's opened my eyes to all discrimination and taught me to be cautious when choosing what I say so I don't offend people. Would being straight have been easier? Probably. Easier isn't always better though.

 

[cm98059]

I was born bi. I have lived with men and women. Being straight, isn't easier. I am still bi, and I am happy with who I am, but I have had enough problems with women that they don't interest me anymore. I still look, but for relationships, I prefer men. Honestly, there is less drama. I choose gay.

 

[Blueyes]

its not that i want to be straight, its that i want society to accept me as gay and treat me as any other person

 

[AresIncarnate]

Bisexual for sure! I wouldn't have it any other way...

Besides, I'm not really into relationships, so it suits me. I can always find someone who's hot, and each sex is hot for different reasons. Plus, I guess it forces me to be very open minded.

If I HAD to pick between gay and straight, I'd probably pick straight because of the whole stigma thing. In the end, I guess I'd be fine with either though. I play the hand I'm dealt.

 

[jcaster42987]

I think a lot of people interpretted this as "if you could change your sexuality" for some reason..

If I could choose I would be straight. I dont really know what I am, Im constantly attracted to girls but I havent had a long term relationship with one yet. Im not fully gay in that theres stuff I wouldnt do. I dont really want to have a life as gay because I really want to have children... with my genes and continue on the family, I dont see much pride in ending this family line. And after hearing my friends talk about homosexuality, I dont know if I would be able to hang out with them if they knew. My life would probably hit all time lows if someone found out.

And Bisexuality... which you could say I would fall into, is just something I dont really understand, but I guess thats the way it is.

 

[bluedragon4]

I love how people want to be straight cause it's the easy way out. if I wasn't gay than I could not understand what it's like to be hated and understand prejudice. fighting the fight and changing minds and showing people that love is not so black and white is what I believe we are all here for. straight people have it to easy. fighting for who you love makes it that much sweeter. i noticed most of the ones on here who wished they were straight were very very young. give it time and with age comes experience and confidence. being gay can be a beautiful self journey and very educational. In 1993 I was 19 and at the March on Washington. I marched with gay youth and the christian groups threw stuff at us and called us names and spewed such hate that it made me ashamed of straight people(especially the religion nuts). the older gay men surrounded my youth group and pushed the next generation forward with love and safety.I would never choose to be straight and give up all I have learned and seen in the world. I feel like we(gay people) have come so far since I was 19(though we still have far to go).It's nothing now to turn on the TV and see two men kiss. I don't see the straights evolving. I still hear the hate and see the signs that say "jesus hates faggots" now I shrug cause they have no clue what love is.

 

[ajd2006]

I would totally chose to stay gay. I cant imagine life as being straight, that wud mean that my bf and i wudnt be together, and that just wudnt feel right.

 

[Rupture]

I actually dont care, i cant imagine not fancying men though. so i chose gay.