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If you don't like one of your bf's friends...

sureaaa

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I don't like one of my bf's gay friends but my bf seems to like talking to him a lot. This guy is a cause of a huge argument between my bf and me before. I've already told my bf that I don't like him or will meet him at all. I don't want to go to details why I don't like him but just wonder if I'm too bicthy? or you guys have ever had such a situation and how do you deal with it?
I'm prepared to take any criticisms. :-) Thank you very much!
 
Well, it would help if you told us why you don't like him.

Did he and your boyfriend have a thing in the past? Are they annoyingly close? Or does he have an annoying personality? Has he said rude things about you?

Would be nice to know! I mean, you haven't even met the friend yet?
 
Yeah without the context there's not much to be said.
 
I posted before here about that guy and I just dont want to bother JUBERs once more.

This is the case: He met my bf a little bit earlier than me. They used to talk via facebook and msg almost everyday. After I talked to my bf, he agreed not to stay close with him. I didn't ask him to totally cut off from him. But now my bf even asked me to meet him and it was not possible for me. I don't want it at all. My bf may think it's not a big deal to meet him for me but we have different standards for what is a big deal.

I'm sure my bf loves me very much. Sometimes I think I'm just annoying myself. but but but i just don't like that guy!](*,)

Well, it would help if you told us why you don't like him.

Did he and your boyfriend have a thing in the past? Are they annoyingly close? Or does he have an annoying personality? Has he said rude things about you?

Would be nice to know! I mean, you haven't even met the friend yet?
 
Well, if you posted about this before, where is the other thread and what did we say to you about it?

What's different now?
 
If I had a BF like this, I'd toss him by the side. You may be forcing your BF to choose between you and this friend.

Time to grow-up. There will be people in your life for whom you don't care. But part of being an adult is putting on a smile and being cordial. That doesn't mean you have to like him.
 
sureaaa, everyone who's ever been in a relationship has had to deal with friends of partner that they didn't like.

What you're doing is going to drive him away from you not bring him closer. Then the end of your relationship with be on your head.
 
To me you're jealous because you're insecure, which means this is your issue to deal with and not your boyfriend's. You're jealous of an online friendship mainly, while you are there in the flesh, having sex, interacting, and enjoying time with your boyfriend. Sounds pretty petty IMO.

I'd suggest you learn and understand why your boyfriend may like this guy. I'd wager you $100 he understands your boyfriend in a way that you do not. Learning why our partners do things gives us better insight into who they are .
 
Well, I think it's fine if you don't really like the guy (though you don't really know him and maybe should give him a shot). I wouldn't find it as "bitchy" and I am sure you're not jealous, right? You can let your boyfriend hang out with him from time to time. If you trust him completely....
 
Think of it this way:
Your boyfriend is kind enough to involve you by asking you to meet up with this friend. You don't have to like him. You just need to be cordial and treat him as one of your acquaintances.

If you insists on not wanting to meet the friend, then he will inevitably meet up with him without you. That gives both of them more reasons to bitch about you behind your back. A common "enemy" (for lack of better words) will surely bond them closer together.

Is this what you want?
 
What if your bf becomes a committed, lifelong relationship? Do you want this other guy to be a bone of contention between you for the rest of your lives? Go with your bf and meet his friend. You may never come to like him, but your bf does like him. You need to make the adjustment since you are convinced their relationship is purely friendship.

You can do it.
 
I understand that we cannot get along with everybody and it is only natural for us to not like some people (anyone saying something contrary is lying). I would honestly say give him a chance. If he is an ass to you, just brush him off. If this guy was his best friend, then I would be more concerned but if it is just a good friend, I see no harm.
 
Yeah i agree you should definately meet him too. Maybe you'll learn to like him as well. But either way at least you'll show your presence infront of him sat next to your bf.
 
You don't have to be best friends with this guy, but everyone is entitled to politeness, and people important to your boyfriend are even entitled to attempts at friendliness.

And remember you are his boyfriend, not his supervisor. If he chooses this man to be his friend, unless he is dangerous somehow, then be supportive of it.
 
You don't have to like him and you don't have to be around him most times. The times that you do make sure you have a supportive person, other than your boyfriend, around. Don't over worry this issue. I have lived through it so I know it's possible.
 
A lot of people have said what I wanted to say. Meet up. Put up with this friend. You have never met him...and are only familiar of him via text messages and word-of-mouth from your boyfriend. I say, meet the guy and get a feel for him. There's only so much text can convey.

When you meet up, remember to breathe and stay calm. If a little wine or beer will help you maintain composure, drink a little...but not enough to get you sloppy drunk. Think of it like you bringing your boyfriend to dinner with your parents. Of course you'd want your parents to like him. Now, if they said they didn't want to meet your boyfriend, you'd feel a bit hurt.

So giving your boyfriend's friend a chance, would definitely be a good thing. From there you decide. But at least meeting him once wouldn't hurt.
 
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