If you had a time machine....

[Kulindahr]

No, not where would you go to see things, but....

Where would you interfere? and why?

Here are the rules: it's a one-way trip, so you're stuck where you pick. You can introduce three new ideas or inventions.

And since this is Hot Topics, of course a dozen posts later you can change your mind.



For starters, I'd go back to the Aztecs a dozen years before the Spanish showed up. I'd give them gunpowder, the concept of vaccines, and monotheism.

Gunpowder is obvious: they can fight off the Spanish.
Vaccines are also obvious: so they can fight European diseases.
Monotheism isn't so obvious, but assuming I could direct it somewhat the idea is to do away with human sacrifices.

 

[JayHawk]

I would go back to 1985 and I would bang the shit out of jeff L***'s ass.

 

[refujiunderground]

i would go back to when i was 12 and finish jerking off to that magazine ad that made me realize i was gay. i would have been like YAY. i deserved that nut.

 

[bankside]

I'd go to second-temple jerusalem, find a few dissidents, and give them a complete print-out of Wikipedia, antibiotics, and a solar powered video player programmed with the show "Connections" from James Burke.

 

[ronboy]

I would go back to 1985, and would have talked my boyfriend Vincent into staying home, or coming over to my parents house (I was still living at home) and hanging out with me, instead of going out without me, and dieing in a car crash. Then he would have been safe and sound, and we would probably have been together for the long run.

RIP, my sweet, sexy Vince. Not a day goes by where I don't long for your arms around me, or your kiss on my lips....

 

[Kulindahr]

I would go back to 1985 and I would bang the shit out of jeff L***'s ass.

Who??????????

 

[star-warrior]

Tampering may well lead to a world that we wouldn't recognise today. If by introducing our knowledge to the past quicker, maybe we'd've wiped ourselves our by nuclear oblivion quicker. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

 

[braex27]

October 2004 - I would say yes to a question that was asked wherein I'd previously said no.

 

[Redsox]

Assuming I would have the knowledge and experience I have now, I would go back to my early twenties, come out to myself and force myself to get out into the gay world. Back then I was in denial and had a miserable life.

 

[freefall]

3 years ago, when my best friend asked me a dilemmatic question. I should've said the truth back then. Now I possibly don't have any chances to tell him what he has to know.

 

[Nishin]

Back to last Friday with the lottery numbers right

 

[vacancy3]

back to high school and re-think all the choices i made and try to set my future on a better path

 

[diamondstar]

I would rather go two hundred years into the future. Thus being a living relic of the old times

 

[Axxess]

In no particular order:

joswanprince had a good idea with the fire alarm thing, I might do that.
I'd go back to any day of my life and smack myself for being dumb.
I'd go back and abort my brother. Harsh, I know, but I have my reasons.
I'd go back to 1993 and give doctors the medical knowledge necessary to save my grandmother.

 

[MassRuss]

Go back to April 20, 1889, & take Klara Hitler's newborn & throw him in the Inn River.

Go to the mid 90's & "arrange" for Bush to be photographed with a transexual hooker, high on booze & coke, published in every tabloid.

Go to Afghanistan in the 80's & kidnap Bin Laden, give him to the Russians

 

[Kulindahr]

Tampering may well lead to a world that we wouldn't recognise today. If by introducing our knowledge to the past quicker, maybe we'd've wiped ourselves our by nuclear oblivion quicker. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

Changing the present is a given. But note that I limited my 'gifts' to things already present in that time -- no steam engines or lighter-than-air flight or such.

 

[Kulindahr]

I would go back to 454 and stop Valentinian III from murdering Aetius. The Roman Empire would not have collapsed so precipitously, and the modern age would be ushered in sooner.

Interesting choice. When I think of Rome, I always think of stopping Varus from taking his legions into the bloody forest.

 

[Kulindahr]

FIrst, for fun: I'd go back to the swing era and stay there.

Second, to answer your query: there are many possibilities, but two stand out--1) Go back and prevent Archduke Ferdinand from getting assassinated or 2) Go to the bridge of the Titanic and knock the wheel out of Quartermaster Hitchen's hands.

Following such lines of thought . . .

Drop straight in on George III, dressed as something angelic, and give him instructions on how to solve the "colonial problem"in a way that would make the entire British Empire more stable and republican.


Kidnap Karl Marx before he wrote a word, and leave him in a Tibetan monastery.


(Really reaching . . .) Convert Mohammed to Christianity so we wouldn't have all these fanatic terrorists.

 

[bankside]

If my second-temple-jerusalem dissidents worked fast enough with the info I'd bring them, maybe they could invent another time machine. I'd use that one to clean up after Kulindahr on his voyage.

Perhaps first stop would be Torquemada. I'd convert him to Aztec polytheism so we wouldn't have had all these fantastic Inquisitions in Europe. It might not have stopped the local beheadings, but the football would be even better. And I'd convert the recently monotheisitic Aztecs to zoroastrians, because honestly what trouble has ever been caused by a zoroastrian. Then I'd convert Luther to agnosticism; in questioning the Pope's party line about religion, he was half-way there already.

 

[Kulindahr]

If my second-temple-jerusalem dissidents worked fast enough with the info I'd bring them, maybe they could invent another time machine. I'd use that one to clean up after Kulindahr on his voyage.

Perhaps first stop would be Torquemada. I'd convert him to Aztec polytheism so we wouldn't have had all these fantastic Inquisitions in Europe. It might not have stopped the local beheadings, but the football would be even better. And I'd convert the recently monotheisitic Aztecs to zoroastrians, because honestly what trouble has ever been caused by a zoroastrian. Then I'd convert Luther to agnosticism; in questioning the Pope's party line about religion, he was half-way there already.

Torquemada a polytheist? Not gonna happen -- go back farther and get him sold into slavery; his afult self would deserve it.

Zoroastrians... quite a leap. I don't really care what they did so long as it was monotheistic -- though it would be fun if they could be made Catholics before the Spanish showed up, so the Aztecs could say, "Not interested -- we already got a Pope."

Actually, Luther was farther from agnosticism -- the Pope was closer than he was. Rome said you could only know God through the Pope; Luther said no pope is needed. So with Rome, people couldn't really know; they only knew the Pope.