"If you were Anna, I'd fuck the shit out of you right now."

[Roralot]

It sounds like he is a big tease or doesn't yet know what he feels. You have obviously let him know you are there and available. I think he knows that all he has to do is say the word and you would do him. Let HIM take the next step, otherwise he is just going to continue frustrating you. You HAVE to wait for him to take the next step. You will only continue being frustrated otherwise.

 

[shainski]

Stop.

His reactions have nothing to do with you...it has everything to do with himself. He is terrified of letting himself go further. Once he lets the genie out of the bottle, it won't go back in. Once he does something gay, he is gay.

For the sake of his friendship, i would not pursue this. While, you might eventually be able to have a one-night-stand, your friendship may be over. You will be the ghost of his fears that he will be running away from.

 

[anchihiro]

What Shainski said.

 

[adick11]

Well i don't think that if u have sex with him, he will become gay like the others said. He's probably too proud to do it because he thinks that he will go too far. But i don't think that he's gay if he only have sexual attraction to you. If he still loves girl, he is still a straight guy. I wouldnt say im straight if i would do something with a girl, cause i know im gay.

A lot of straight guys have sex with guys, and wont ever tell other people but could never be in a relationship with a guy anyway. So i think that u should tell him that subtily that if he wants to try, it doesn't make him gay if that's what you want. He wouldnt act like that if he was 100% straight, but he is definitly not gay.

The thing is if you do it, and he doesn't love you back, you are gonna probably gonna be more hurt that u are now.

 

[stevexxx]

well if he said he didnt like the gay thing with the first dude, then he doesnt wanna do gay stuff with ya

 

[Nomenclature]

he just opens up to me about how excited he is that we're friends, how much he likes me as a person, how much "love he's got for me", how much I'm "just a chill gay dude but like down to get fucked up and shit so its cool".. all that. I just listen and nod, envisioning him naked...

That part made me lmao.


Basically, you need to understand this:

He was drunk off of his ass, and going through the "I love you, man!" phase. He was just saying that he thinks of you as a really good friend, and he's glad that he can party with you and just be gross guys together. He really appreciates that you coming out as gay didn't change the fun that you guys have together; that you didn't become a stereotypical queen who'd rather do Gay Stuff. You get what i'm saying, right? When he said that "If you were Anna, i'd fuck you. . ." he was basically saying that he just isn't attracted to dudes, but he wanted to have sex with her.



I'm terribly sorry; the guy loves and respects you, but he just isn't into guys the way that you'd like him to be. It's a lot like if a girl was asking if you could ever have sex with her or another girl. . .and you were like "Well, I did once in high school. . ." and tried to leave it at that, because it just made you realize you liked guys. The same thing happened with your friend when he tried experimenting with a guy: it made him realize he'd rather have a penis butter and vajelly sandwich than a hot dog.

 

[KevLINY]

Ok, time to bust out the pistachio analogy (I registered just for this).

Anyway, so if you're eating pistachios, you know how there are like one or two that are just open a little bit? Well your guy here is like that--you can spend a lot of time and effort and you may be able to get the pistachio open and get what you want. OR you can just throw it away and eat any of the many other pistachios that are already open.

There are too many gay and bi guys that know what they want to work on one that doesn't. Believe me, I know--spent months in college on the guy who was my first only to have him freak out the second he came.

 

[undeux]

So we talked about it today and it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I told him I was gonna be mia more often. He said "that's cool" and that he needed to hang out with more "guys" (don't really know what that means, but whatever he got the point I was making I guess.)

I don't intend on trying anything.. or sleeping in his bed anymore. Honestly, I figure now that the best thing for me to do is to start hanging out with more gay guys around campus; join a club or something... start developing feelings for people who actually have the capability of liking me back in that way. After lifting, we were about to go watch anime and get high, but he dipped midway through to watch basketball with the bros, which is cool I guess. To each his own. I definitely feel like I fucked up/pushed him away a bit, but if it helps me get over it, it's all good. At least I know he's off-limits now?


and excellent analogy KevLINY. props to you for registering and dropping that on me.

Why not wait and "sleep in his bed" every once in a while. You seem like cool enough friends. You should just be a friend and when the time comes ..and he wants it might happen. That doesn't mean you have to be committed and wait for him solely. Keep the opportunity open.