If you were to ever get married (or are married) how would you (or do you) handle the whole surname situation?

[gay000]

If you were to ever get married (or are married) how would you (or do you) handle the whole surname situation?

I am thinking of legally tacking his last name to mine so my legal name would be [First Name] [Middle Name] [Last Name] [His Last Name]

Also, his last name is French, so it's sort of two words which is De LastName

So it will be five seperate words.

What say you??

 

[jaysizzles]

I wouldn't change my name, as I've had it for quite awhile, like it, and use it for professional purposes. You do what feels right for you.

I'm curious why you want to take on his name, and if he would equally be willing to take on yours if you didn't necessarily want to take on his. I can see if you plan on having children and want to have a common family name, but many gay men do not have intentions of raising kids.

I've seen a lot of divorces where the one spouse gets "stuck" with their ex's last name. Sure, they can change it back, but it's kind of a hassle. Most times they (women mostly) keep it because it's also their kid's last name...that happened to a close friend of mine. One of my sisters did change her name back to her maiden name when she divorced, and when she remarried didn't change to her new husband's last name. Their kid took the father's last name. She basically said that she didn't want to be bothered with going through the process of changing her name again. Another sister divorced her husband, kept his name, then many years later remarried and took her partner's last name...which is a long Polish tough name to spell and pronounce. Now this sister is going through a divorce (brief marriage) and is thinking she doesn't want to go through the bother of changing her name again, however she doesn't like this name nor the memories associated with it...feels kind of stuck. She also doesn't want to go back to her ex-husband's name, and hasn't used her maiden name in 40 some years.

I guess that's the chance you take when you get married and change your name...hopefully you'll be one of the lucky couples that makes it work for life.

 

[thermodynamics]

This is something I hadn't even considered until I started reading responses to that same question on OKCupid. I had always assumed that gay guys would automatically keep their names, or perhaps go hyphenated. But of course that was a stupid assumption. A couple should always do what's right for them.

I doubt I'd take my boyfriend's name. I wouldn't expect him to take mine either.

 

[gay000]

Honestly I am only considering it because I like the idea of having a new name. It seems fun for me. And the name is a very easy to pronounce and spell French name and sounds nice.
But I do understand that legally changing a name is serious business. And I love my First, Middle, and Last Name.
Though I wouldn't mind not having my Dad's name, though I am able to seperate my feeling for my Father and the Last name as it is a unique name that I have only met one other person with it in all my days.
And no, he does not want my name or hyphenate ours. He could careless whether I do this or not, I just feel if it is an option then why not.

 

[jaysizzles]

I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm against the idea of you changing your name. You're an adult, you like the name and are willing to live with it. I think it's a nice gesture on your part to let your partner know you are committed to him.

 

[KaraBulut]

I am thinking of legally tacking his last name to mine so my legal name would be [First Name] [Middle Name] [Last Name] [His Last Name]

If you're planning on having children, what last name do you want to give your children?

 

[Seasoned]

I like the idea of having the same last name. We hyphenated, which can be complicated at times because not all software will accept a symbol as part of a name. Nonetheless, I like being the only two people in the world with our last name!

 

[aaggii]

When I moved to Spain, I was surprised that they don´t change surnames here, they keep their own names and the children take the first surname of their father + first surname of their mother. Logically, everyone here has 2 surnames.

I wouldn´t want to change mine, I like it

 

[fallinlove]

I wish I were getting married and had to deal with this issue :-(

 

[sixthson]

We kept our own last names, more for professional reasons than anything. Our children's last name is hyphenated.

 

[Tucsam]

I'm glad I've lived long enough to see young men have this wonderful dilemma. We got married in our sixties, after decades together, and we didn't change our names. I think thermodynamics said it best "A couple should always do what's right for them".

 

[tarallucci]

I would keep the respective surnames.

 

[otters]

As long as your respective citizenships' legal systems allow double- (triple-, quadruple- etc.) barrelled surnames for the partners as well as their offspring, and as long as there are no multiple nationality complications in question, why not?

In my country you can have much more complicated surnames than triple- or quadruple-barrelled, particularly if you're owner of (or are going to inherit) certain pieces of real property which can grant you additional names. — And by this I do not mean necessarily aristocracy or nobility, this can also happen to common farmers' children.

 

[CoochiKabuki]

If his last name is prettier than mine I will