If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

[slnattak]

Stopping bullying is simple:

don't have people with such vastly different psychological perceptions in the same building. That's madness, that's insanity. We should be able to interact with people that we are free to interact with. Nothing good comes out of forcing anybody to do anything.

school is a lie, the knowledge you get is worthless... and the socialization doesn't work for the kids who are actually smart and compassionate.

If people would just listen to me the world would be better off but obviously somebody 'up there' likes to see so many people tortured and in pain. Whoever it is, it's certainly the world's biggest asshole.

Yes, you don't have to remind me that evil is fought primarily within. I already know that and spend much of my time meditating and conquering my own inner demons. That is why I am one of the leaders of humanity. Om!

 

[Kulindahr]

^
Better, reduce the size of schools. It's been shown repeatedly that schools where everyone knows everyone else, students learn better, learn social skills better, have more self-esteem, and engage less in bullying.

 

[IAMTHATIAM]

Life is what we make it.

When we are back-slapping 'HAPPY' stupid apes, lost in lies (what are lies? assertions with no foundation -- these are lies; contorted rhetoric mascerading as reasonable thought, leading to (sadly) usually lies, but just to mess with us at times truth.

Why do I care SO much for the WAY gay dudes? I am one, but I love all life.

I do not understand but a persistent truth reverberates, one not understood WHICH CAN NOT BE IGNORED--YOU are important, vitally important to our survival.


Sure, most are shallow and foolish, but those who love, struggle, do not fit into the insane 'perfect' order -- YOU ARE LOVED AND MUST LIVE!!!

YOU ARE NECESSARY. I'm sorry your lives are so hard.
___

It gets better? No, not unless you grow, struggle and change. It sucks. It's life, and you are MORE alive than most. I'm sorry, and I love you, what more can I say. YOU ARE NEEDED FOR ALL, in some strange impossible way I do not fully understand. Not your suffering, YOUR GROWTH! YOU BECOME MORE. YOU LIGHT UP THIS WORLD. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE...

I don't know what I'm trying to say... except YOU ARE LOVED AND LOVABLE. Can't you see that in one another? Not blindly, never that, just... live and love. Make this horrible world, this horrible humanity BETTER!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! Only by living can you do this, NEVER in dieing. We all die. FUCK that.

LIFE is too hard, FAR too ALL-ENCOMPASSING. Who has time to ponder death? Only those already dead inside, those who fear death and hate life. NOT YOU!

LIVE!!!

 

[Daximus]

I miss my partner of 7 years so much all I think about lately is offing myself. In the last 6 months I've thought more about suicide than my entire life. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew what I was doing when I tried to drink myself to death. Now all I have is regret and sorrow.

Ron if you can forgive me it would literally save my life.

 

[Kulindahr]

Having never had a partner, I can't really comment on the pain. But I have tried suicide, and afterward realized something: there may be future joys in my future, but if I take away that future by killing myself, I'll never find out.

Don't rob yourself that way.

 

[DreamDancer310]

This is lovely....but I have to respectfully ask...I'm a little puzzled how the gay community can position itself as being so concerned for our bullied and hurt gay youth yet.....in every other thread there's posters making generalizations, bashing, belittling, berating, judging, and really demonizing FEMININE gay men. And it happens everywhere in the gay community. No, not wanting to sleep with a fem gay man is not my example of femmephobia. But assuming bitchy automatically means fem (it doesn't, and bitchy or mean is not exclusive to being fem) or going out of your way to make our feminine gay brothers feel ostracized and ridiculed (which some posters seem to...and with pride, and when confronted, say "grow a pair!")....

I mean isn't that counter productive to this whole "we're so concerned about bullied gay youth?"

Let's keep it really real now...really really real.......which gay youth do you think are more prone to getting bullied? or better yet, what do you think is the typical day of a young gay kid who is inherently fem?

If you're so concerned about his well being....how about in a few years when he turns 18, and is still inherently fem (not bitchy, not mean, but simply fem) and has to be met with an onslaught of "uhh, stereotypical fem f*gs are just embarrassing. They give us all a bad name! Freak shows!"....and those things are coming at them from....GAY people.

The irony always puzzles me. And this isn't addressed to all, but some.

 

[Florent]

Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?

 

[Kulindahr]

Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?

I read the whole page above this and couldn't figure out who it's addressed to. Care to enlighten us?

 

[richanth]

i just wish that my depresion didnt also make it as hard as it is too no matter what i do i cant stop thinking of somthing i dont want to do

 

[Praxus]

I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

 

[dustin-33]

You are not alone. There are more gay people around than you might think. Make use of the resources posted here. Create an account and post your trouble in Coming Out & Relationships.

 

[dereperez]

I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

It's been a month....I hope you are doing ok buddy. Small consolation, but if you could just see all the support you can get from here.

 

[Draven]

I've come to terms with the fact that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care.

 

[KennyD]

I hope this is the right place to post my story....
I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD

 

[silentalk]

I hope this is the right place to post my story....
I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD

I'm really sorry to hear this. I've had suicidal thoughts myself last year. I know the feeling that no one can help and that life won't get better. And honestly I don't have a solution. People told me to go to therapy, which I did. It didn't help. But the depression is gone now, and I don't even know the reason. Right now, I want to "live life to the fullest". One thing I did that calmed me down: I prayed a lot and kept praying. I know many people don't believe in God, but to me, it was a place to pour my heart out. If you're not religious, I'm not telling you to pray. Find someone to let it all out. But if you are (or if you prefer not to talk to people about it), maybe you should give it a try, whatever your faith is and whatever you believe in.

I was deeply touched by what you said. If I could do anything to ease the pain, if anyone here on JUB can do anything, just let us know. Our hearts are with you

 

[IAMTHATIAM]

Guess what... this world Is a mess.

Surprise. It's true.

...........
You are fine as you are.

You are fare from perfect, but YOU ARE FINE.

BETTER struggling and fumbling toward BETTER.

Yeah, it's that simple.

Those who STRUGGLE,FUMBLE, FAIL BUT LEARN and grow.

True. Honest. Hard won. but honest,

 

[billycollege]

Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks

 

[Kulindahr]

Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks

Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.

 

[billycollege]

Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.

You just made my day! THANKS!!!!

 

[Gentleheart]

I'm so worried about Praxus.

I wish he would just log in or answer my PM from the other day, so we'll know he's alright.

...and I still see that he never signed in after this post.

I feel sick. I just hope he didn't hurt himself.