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"I'll call you"

Last night at a club, a guy held my hand and said "follow me to the bathroom". He said I was handsome and we exchanged numbers, but thought "I'm sure it's 25% we'll keep in touch". He was good looking, but drunk, and hugged or got numbers from every third guy there.

Don't expect a thing! When you go out, you'll meet people you dance with or hit it off with. It results in friends, acquaintances, or don't talk or see each other again. People are very fickle!

From October 07 to February 08, I was a regular at gay clubs and learned A LOT! I'd get DOZENS of number, but wonder "Why won't they call me?" This past Friday I returned on the scene and the rules still remain the same. :)
 
We are human beings, after all. We are not robots. We are not 100% logical.

Yes, it's infuriating. Yes, you want an answer right away (I am the king of impatience, myself).

Let this be a lesson to you. Never take what people say at face value. It's that simple, really. People have all sorts of reasons (valid or not) for lying--lying about whether they like you, lying about their relationship status, even, yes, lying about their sexuality.

Actions speak louder than words.

And it's why advice like, "Just talk to him" often doesn't work.
 
It's not just that guys are not honest after real-life dates, but also on the dating sites themselves. First they say they like you, you exchange messenger addresses. Then you talk to them on msn and they don't react very quickly or even do not react at all...
I just don't get it.

By the way, why is everyone in this thread experiencing similar situations? Then there should be also guys here doing the exact same things to other guys? :) Tell us, why :)
 
Most of us are doing the same things for other guys ie. not calling, not answering on msn, disappearing without explanation. I do the same sometimes but I like to remember only the cases when I was the innocent "victim". It is so outrageous :)
 
...oh, that horrible period of waiting for a reply or "the call" when it's been said and clearly indicated they would call back.

I found a pattern emerging when after msn talks and great communication - a meet, a date or two then while on msn one night you say hi...and you wait...maybe they even ignore you?

It sucks how guys don't call when they say or indicate they would. Which is why I say what I feel as soon as I can, or try to.

I'm a firm believer of being transparent. If you say you call, you do - even if it's to say "Hey listen, thanks had a good time, but can we leave it here"

It lets you know where you're at and you can just move on if need be.
 
Well, its simple, sometimes we get excited about a prospect of meeting someone new, but maybe thats on the day when we feel confident about meeting guys, the future, and then the next day comes, and its nothing personal, but you remember the shitty dates, the weird guys you've met, and you don't want to meet them.
 
You know what's confusing? We all know that, when your MSN chat buddy isn't an enthusiastic chatter, it usually means they're not interested. BUT, the thing is, some guys are just slow responders, and so you cling on to that hope.

It's a total mindfuck is what it is.

The Internets, oh so convenient, oh so frustrating.
 
It's not just online dating where this happens, trust me, i've been there recently
 
Relationships develop iin different ways. I would suppose the most difficult are those which are slow in developing because both parties are extremely shy about saying and doing what they mean and intend.

If the aim is a simple hook-up with no emotional attachments, the shy guy will surely be at a disadvantage. This is not always bad for the shy guy; it may save him from entanglements which do not contribute to a healthy and happy journey into the fullness of his own sexuality.

Some would call me a romantic; but, I like to think of myself as fundamentally more sound in my approach. Fully satisfying sexual relationships are most likely to develop where there is already a strong bond of friendship. Friends find ways to express their feeling for one another and when that finally leads to sexual contact the sex is not only thrilling but transforming. It comes as a confirmation of the bonds of friendship and love which have already been established. The afterglow is memorable because the partners have arrived at a new level of emotional attachment. Repeats only get better over time.

Yes, one can experience the tinsel and firecracker aspects of sex in a series of one-night stands with different partners, but the "gold standard" is still sex in the context of a loving and committed relationship. And, that takes time.
 
The trouble with words is that what is meant as kindness (honesty) is often interpreted as cruelty. Therefore, I may sometimes find that "I must be cruel, but only to be kind." It is no kindness to lead someone on when you know that you really have no real interest in a relationship with that person.
 
PlayingwithChance said:
You know what's confusing? We all know that, when your MSN chat buddy isn't an enthusiastic chatter, it usually means they're not interested.
Click to expand...

I think that too.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a guy who I liked to talk to and then he said "I'll be right back". He went offline, came back and didn't tell me anything. I figured he wasn't interested and deleted him from my buddy list. I was right, he never said anything more. He says in his profile "If you wanna get to know a great person with a big heart, send me a message "

It is frustrating #-o
 
Ugh, I do this all the time to guys I meet in bars/clubs, even straight guys who I have no intention of ever becoming more than friends with. I know it's pretty flaky too. :##:

I guess my only excuse is that I'm pretty hesitant about getting into new relationships. When you first meet someone, there's that rush you get, the excitement that comes with meeting someone new. It's easy to get lost in that. If I tell them I'll call them, I sincerely mean it at that point in time.

But afterwards, you get back to your place and you "sober up" (literally or figuratively). You realize you were caught up in the moment. The attraction's no longer there. You're fearful that you're in over your head. Or you really ARE just super busy. Any one of those things plays a role in whether or not I decide to call someone back.

And sometimes, I wait to call a guy back just to see how he'll act in the mean time. One guy texted me every five minutes immediately after we separated (seriously, my inbox was full before I even got home). I never called him back.
 
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