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I'm Afraid I'm Only Attracted To Straight Guys

O

OTHFan

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I've seen posts about guys who've fallen for a straight guy or had a crush on one but I think i have a bigger problem. Straight guys are the only type of guys I like. There are a good supply of gay guys at my school and they are all pretty much just alike, very flamboyant, girly, out and proud type and not only do they not turn me on, but alot of things about them are actually big turn offs for me. I'm just not into that kind of guy. Then i see my hot straight buddies and I just melt. I love being around them and I'm always thinking about them. I fantasize about us together and imagine each as my boyfriend. I try to be as close to them as possible without giving myself away and I always am secretly checking out their hot bodies trying not to get caught. its like I'm in love. a couple of them are even cool with gay guys and don't mind when the flaming ones flirt with them just laughing it off which turns me on even more.

There something about a man who acts like a man that really does it for me. I want to be with a man, not a guy acting like a girl. I have nothing against guys like that, its just not what I'm into. This makes me worried I'll never find the guy for me. I know there are masculine gay men out there but finding them is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I guess I just want what most women want, a macho man who will love me, protect me, take care of me, ect. Women aren't asking for alot when they want a guy like that but for a gay guy, its like he's asking for the impossible. Its really frustrating.
 
I do admit I probaly fantasize about them a little too much but i'm not foolish enough to think they'd do gay for me. i know I will never be more than friends with the straight guys I'm secretly in love with and I'm fine with that. I'd rather just be friends than nothing at all.
 
Do you consider yourself masculine? Just wondering because you compared your needs to a woman's.
 
good question, honestly I don't consider myself very masculine but i'm also far from a queen. I don't really know, i guess i'm kind of in between.
 
All of the guys I have ever fell in love with are straight. It's quite tragic really. I am still trying to get over my latest unrequited love.
 
"Gay = Feminine/Flamboyant" is just a stereotype! If "Gay" were considered a "Race" that sentiment would be Racist! #-o

There are as many "Types" of Gay Guys as there are types of Guys! Your main "obsession" seems to be that You are attracted to MALES!! You are being "driven" by WHAT they are, as opposed to WHO they are! ](*,)

If you're only looking for Sex ... many, Many, "Str8" Guys are more than willing to experiment! (As long as they are assured that the "knowledge" of them will remain completely Safe! Gotta protect "The Rep"!) :-<

But ... if you're looking for a full, complete, "no holds barred" Relationship, there are plenty of Masculine Gay Guys out there! It just takes a little bit of effort, and lots of tact, to ferret them out! (group)

Relax! Just be YOU! Snuggle up to your buds whenever you can! "Casually" make yourself "available", and you will likely be surprised at what you might find! (!w!)

Confidence in YOU is the strongest "weapon" in your "arsenal"! ..|

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;-)
 
I'm having the same issue as you, I'm just not into the flamboyant, girly types. And I consider myself on the masculine side too. So I know, that being gay doesn't mean being girly or anything, since I myself am a 'sample' of the straight looking gays.


And I guess, like Marley said, they don't have tracking devices on their asses. You really don't know who is and who isn't, which I too am having a problem with that. 1stly, nobody could've guessed I was gay unless they knew me for a couple of years maybe, and I myself have problems identifying whether some hot/cool guy at the other side of the room is gay/straight.


But I guess I still have time. And same goes for you.
 
It's true that you probably don't recognize the masculine gay male when you see him. Impossible to know unless you get to talk with him or a mutual friend tips you off. Certain bars attract the more masculine type. Also, I've had flings with bi men who are very masculine. It doesn't bother me that they have their girlfriends on the side. I appreciate the time I have with them and realize it would not be possible if they were straight.
 
I'm a pretty masculine gay guy. I'm not like into football and beer or anything, but I'm also not into Madonna and cosmos either. And as far as my mannerisms go, you'd probably think I was straight if you met me.

I actually enjoy being with somewhat feminine guys. Not overly flamboyant guys, but more feminine than me. I thought I would only like masculine guys too, but in practice I just don't really click with masculine guys. They always seem a little distant to me. I always got along better with women and all my best friends are girls, so I guess I just click with that personality easier. A little feminine & still a man is just the best of both worlds for me.

I guess I would suggest you might try to be a little more open-minded. Date a lot of different kinds of guys. You might be surprised about what you actually like in a relationship.
 
We sound a lot alike. I am not feminine but people can easily tell that I'm gay. Inside, I am a man with man feelings and man interests. I only like straight guys or masculine gay guys as well.

What I find is that when I make friends, I tend to be friends more with straight guys than gay guys not because of masculinity so much but because of similar interests. I have turned a few but it's not healthy really. I am still looking for that great masculine guy who is extremely comfortable with his sexuality. It's a rarity, because a lot of times the guys who can cover up that they're gay use that to their advantage and that is a bit of a turnoff.
 
To tell you the truth, straight guys appeal to us because our interactions with them seem simpler, more straight-foward (pardon the pun), and less drama-saturated. This may be because there's less at stake for both parties. It's easier to relax.

At my gym, I feel more at ease with the straight guys because there's not all this crazy sexual tension and competition percolating beneath the surface. But life just wouldn't be what it is if things were that simple and uncomplicated. So we just have to muddle our way through it all and try to find compatible partners.

But as you grow older, I'm confident you will start to meet more level-headed, masculine guys. I think in those teen years, and early twenties, a lot of gay men are trying to show out and get attention, so they come off as being very flamboyant and flighty. They'll come down to earth as they mature, and you'll have plenty of appealing guys to choose from.:-)
 
hahaha dude!
I have the exact same problem!
I feel like I wrote this myself.....

I'm only attracted to straight guys too.... like I always say I like men for being men..... but they're out there
 
You're assuming all feminine guys are gay and all straight guys are masculine.

Which then sets in the notion that all gay guys are feminine and all masculine guys are straight, even though you know that is not true.

Follow me?

It's not that you're attracted to only straight guys. As lucky7 pointed out, you may need to reanalyze that statement.
 
ephram314 said:
I guess I would suggest you might try to be a little more open-minded. Date a lot of different kinds of guys. You might be surprised about what you actually like in a relationship.
Click to expand...

Word. Not that it really matters much, but I'm wondering how old the original poster is. That may play into his belief that there are no "masculine" gay men.
 
I think you're just afraid of actually connecting with another guy so you play it safe with straight guys where you can have your fantasies but never have to worry about progressing them.
 
WOW! it's like i wrote this thread or something lol

no offense to the flamboyant ones but i'm going to have to agree that i want a MAN, not a man acting like a woman
i also consider myself in the middle, im not all about shopping or fashion or hair products and nails but i do have a sensitive side, and i kinda off-normal voice. people do think i'm gay, but my friends like to call me a "chill-gay".
The current guy i like is definately more masculine than most, mainly on the same gayness level as me, just a bit too far in the closet.
Remember that everything really does happen to teach us something. Your high attraction to straight guys is tragic, i know how it feels - you cant have what you want. But you know what? Life is usually like that. And a nice little make out session with the hottest most masculine guy ever will definately seem quite glorious, but they're called fantasies because they're what we imagine, not what we do.
My advice would be to hit up a gay bar, im sure you'll find SOME masculine guys...but if that makes u feel uncomfortable or misleads you, i say wait until you find someone...because its going to just get annoying if u want all those straight guys and u cant have em. Personal experience here- trust me!
 
To the OP, we ARE out there, just harder to detect.

I consider myself a masculine guy... not the "steel beam bending, testosterone crazed" type but I'm not flamboyant or feminine... I'm just your average guy and that's exactly the type that I'm looking for.

It gets frustrating, I know. Because the flamboyant gays attract so much attention they're the ones I notice and I end up thinking they're the only gay guys out there. I know there are guys out there like me but it's difficult to find them, especially since I'm largely in the closet.

But to ease your fears about there being no masculine gay guys out there, I'll raise my hand.... here's one!

Cheers.
 
Yeah i definately don't wanna be some slut for straight guys when they are horny. I want a real connection, a real relationship. There's alot of good advice here. You guys have definately made me feel better about my chances at love and being happy. I know I should be patient but i feel like I have been. I would love to find someone now while I'm young and see where it goes.
 
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