I'm confused.

[Ram]

Yesterday, I called the HR personnel of a local hospital -- his name was John, according to the newspaper advertisement -- for a pharmacy technician job. Long story short: turned out he wasn't looking for any pharmacy technicians; the address he gave me was no where near the hospital and his office had nothing to do with that institution – and Cecilia, not John, was a recruiter.

When I called, Cecilia answered the phone but I thought she was John because I did clearly state I wanted to speak to John but she just carried on. So I assumed John was, you know, a little effeminate with a slight estrogen problem – wrong assumption number 1. She gave me the address – somewhere in the city – and I did remind her that I called to apply for a job in the hospital. She told me she “works” for the hospital, and their offices are scattered all over the place like -- and I quote her -- “bees… you know… honey combs… colonies.” Alright, that makes sense. John works in some other office supporting the hospital just not in the hospital, has a thing for bees and is a little crazy -- wrong assumption number 2 (except for the crazy part).

Turned out, there was no John. Cecilia was John, and she was expecting me. I asked for John, and she said there was no such person. So why did she use John instead of Cecilia? I don't get it.

Boy, Cecilia kissed my ass during the interview way better than some of you Jubbers when you post about the moderators. I had zero working experience or credible computer skills, but according to her, I was “the employee all employers are fighting to get.” Yup. “Your resume is so good; you should write resumes for a living!” Her words, not mine. The entire interview was two hours of supremely good ego-blowjob. Cecilia, you ego whore.

And then, it just ended like that. After filling up a form, she said I can go.

... 2 hours of complete surreality.

Who the fuck is John?

 

[Ram]

I forgot to mention that the building was all chained up and abandoned.

I was thinking of going to the police but thanks to Swellegant and his reality check, I think he might be right.

 

[Swellegant]

I'd be more curious what the bill was going to look like. Blowjobs, be they phallic or mental, are never really free.

It sounds like a classic headhunter scenario. There probably was a John once upon a time, but he either became so demoralized by his job that he jumped off a bridge or else didn't meet his numbers and was fired; but why go to the trouble and expense of changing a newspaper advertisement? Cecilia can handle it. Cecilia can work in a falling-down offic, Cecilia can field phone calls from people she's never met, Cecilia can be John, if that's what's required: because Cecilia is a salesman.

Headhunters have to maintain rosters of eager would-be employees, kept eager by a whole hell of a lot of schmoozing, as well as rosters of eager would-be hiring-managers... and if you think you got schmoozed, you should check the lipstick marks on her HR clients' fannies.

And your headhunter sounds a little fly-by-night; the lack of permanent premises, the advertisements in a newspaper (and really, darling, nobody advertises in print anymore), the interchangeable personnel. It's probably got some very shadowy entrepreneurial creature in the background whom nobody ever sees. I wouldn't expect to be hearing much from them. But if you're looking for work in the healthcare field, you should expect to meet a few more headhunters.

A lot of medium-sized companies are using headhunting firms to do their recruiting, as they are paid on commission and are therefore a lot cheaper than having actual dedicated recruiters in the HR department, taking up office-space and sick-time and maternity leave and whatnot. It's like outsourcing, except you get schmoozed by salesmen.

 

[Ram]

I'd be more curious what the bill was going to look like. Blowjobs, be they phallic or mental, are never really free.

It sounds like a classic headhunter scenario. There probably was a John once upon a time, but he either became so demoralized by his job that he jumped off a bridge or else didn't meet his numbers and was fired; but why go to the trouble and expense of changing a newspaper advertisement? Cecilia can handle it. Cecilia can be John, if that's what's required, because Cecilia is a salesman.

Headhunters have to maintain rosters of eager would-be employees, kept eager by a whole hell of a lot of schmoozing, as well as rosters of eager would-be hiring-managers... and if you think you got schmoozed, you should check the lipstick marks on her HR clients' fannies.

A lot of medium-sized companies are using headhunting firms to do their recruiting, as they are paid on commission and are therefore a lot cheaper than having actual dedicated recruiters in the HR department, taking up office-space and sick-time and maternity leave and whatnot.

That makes sense.

Commission? How do they get commission? I only paid fifty dollars.

 

[Ram]

And your headhunter sounds a little fly-by-night; the lack of permanent premises, the advertisements in a newspaper (and really, darling, nobody advertises in print anymore), the interchangeable personnel. It's probably got some very shadowy entrepreneurial creature in the background whom nobody ever sees. I wouldn't expect to be hearing much from them. But if you're looking for work in the healthcare field, you should expect to meet a few more headhunters.

I paid fifty dollars for that!

Initially, I wanted this thread to turn into a place where we exchange twilight stories, have a laugh or two over chai but now, I just see it as an online testament to what a schmuck I am. I got ripped off.

 

[Bidude117]

Maybe she just wanted "Visa for Love"? But then quickly realized you were into real men?

 

[Fire]

I only paid fifty dollars.

I really hope you're kidding.

 

[Ram]

I really hope you're kidding.

No I'm not; it's "application form fee".

Ah fuck it.

 

[Fire]

No I'm not; it's "application form fee".

Ah fuck it.

Man, that's the oldest scam in the book...

Ah well, now you've learned your lesson. And look on the bright side: at least it wasn't 500 dollars for "modeling photos" absolutely guaranteed to jumpstart your career, or tens of thousands on some year-long negotiation with a Nigerian prince.

 

[sixthson]

No I'm not; it's "application form fee".

Ah fuck it.

The lure of being near all the valium just overcame your common sense.

 

[Ram]

Man, that's the oldest scam in the book...

Ah well, now you've learned your lesson. And look on the bright side: at least it wasn't 500 dollars for "modeling photos" absolutely guaranteed to jumpstart your career, or tens of thousands on some year-long negotiation with a Nigerian prince.

It has been two years now and the Nigerian prince has not gotten back.

 

[Eagle653]

In marketing, pseudo names are used all the time to trace the source of the inquiry. Sometimes this is used in head hunting too. If someone asks for "John" the person on the other end knows exactly what the caller wants and probably how they found out about it. It's probably overly secretive and silly in this case, but it does separate out the job-hunter calls from those needing "Cecelia" on other (non job hunting) related business.

 

[rareboy]

It has been two years now and the Nigerian prince has not gotten back.

Oops. 'mybad.

I guess that once I starting sending him all my data, he lost interest in you.

Any day now, I'm expecting to receive my share of the $50 million US that he has hidden in gold in an offshore bank.

So far, I've only had to send fees of about $150,000..

Not bad when I get $12.5 million of whatever he stole from the people of his country and the horrible oil companies that all conspired to make him lose his crown.

I understand he's hung like a stallion too.

 

[belamy]

That's Singapore? Either I had very wrong prejudices about nazi efficiency in Singapore (the SARS scare was a joke against Singaporean authorities) or doomsday is near.

 

[G-Lexington]

You may have just paid somebody $50 to steal your identity. I mean, they now have your name, address, phone number, and (possibly) other personal information. (Here in the US, there'd be a "social security number"...)

Lex

 

[2243]

I paid fifty dollars for that!

You may have just paid somebody $50 to steal your identity. I mean, they now have your name, address, phone number, and (possibly) other personal information. (Here in the US, there'd be a "social security number"...)

 

[GL]

silly ram.

if you wanted an ego blow job you could have come to me.

and i can't discount the possibility i'd blow more than your ego!

 

[Críostóir]

You were scammed by a professional. Never pay a fee to apply for a job. It's bullshit.

Unfortunately it's not clear that what she did was illegal, though she probably isn't actually sending your resume to any employers and doesn't have a contract with a hospital to find them an employee. If that's the case, she may be committing fraud. You should call the cops and see what they make of it, or a fraud-alert organization in your area.

I am not a lawyer and the above is not legal advice.

 

[Ram]

We can put the theories to rest. I called the recruitment agency (got the number from the hospital), and after discussing with the manager, he told me that I have made a mistake. The 50 dollars payment (excluding service charge) will be charged after I've gotten the job. He was quite bemused over the fact that I paid for their services before they were allowed to "service" me. I told him that his agent, Cecilia, instructed me to pay -- and guess what? -- Cecilia denied this. So why did she take the cash when I offered her?

Whatever. I'm getting my money and resume back.

Turned out, there was no John. Cecilia was John, and she was expecting me. I asked for John, and she said there was no such person.

And the manager's name is John.

 

[TygreBryte]

That is a very very odd story. I'm glad you got your $ back.