I'm diagnosed OCD and my obsession with a straight guy is consuming me

[noinhibitions]

I'm 31 years old (gay) and have had a crush on a guy who I went to school with. Literally since 3rd grade. Here we are 13 years after graduating high school and I still find myself lurking his social media, googling him, etc. The thing is, he isn't even gay (to my knowledge). A while back, he posted his cell phone number on his Facebook page telling people to text him if they need some yard work done. Part of my OCD is an obsession with numbers - I can memorize a phone number only a couple times after seeing it, people's birthdays even if they only tell me it once, etc. So naturally, I remembered his number and finally this year I found a reason to finally text him and try to talk to him - I could use him for some yard work! He was responsive to me and very friendly, but our chats never really went beyond having him eventually come to do some work at my house, which now won't be done until next year. I've added him on Instagram and he's followed me back only to unfollow me, so I would unfollow him back, etc. We most recently chatted yesterday via text briefly, it was a normal conversation.

But I've been obsessing about why my Instagram follow request (and new Facebook friend request) still hasn't been accepted months later. I decide to text him to try and ask in the most non-weird way possible. With my OCD, I need answers to everything and I won't stop obsessing until I get one. I decided to tell him "hey, stupid and random question, but..." and then went on to lie and say that a few people I've added on IG have noticed my follow requests repeatedly appearing and then disappearing and I wanted to know if he experienced the same thing. I decided to add another part to the text but sent it about 20 mins after the first one so that was probably annoying. 4+ hours later with no reply and I sent another one *facepalm* - basically, this time I added onto my last text as if I were correcting it, and said "sorry, forgot to hit send, got busy at work".

Still no response and I'm honestly not shocked. I don't even know this guy that well aside from being classmates years ago and he's probably like wtf. But I have OCD, so I guess sometimes when I like someone I may come across as weird and obsessive even though I really mean no harm at all and just want some type of connection whether it be romantic or friendly. Most people who actually get to know me like me and I'm very outgoing and social when I'm with others. I can make friends pretty easily at places like work, even though I only have 2-3 close friends outside of work.

I now feel like I ruined the good casual little convos I had going with this guy who I always dreamed of being friends with in the very least and who knows if he will even reply next year when I text him to come do the work on my house.

How do I get this under control? I've been in therapy but nothing helps. I do take meds. Do you think there is anyway to rectify the damage I just did by sending these dumb texts?

 

[MusicMan321]

Hi from the look of it it sounds like that you liked this guy and it seems that he would rather be a friend with you (maybe) but from what you are talking about you've know him since high school. Anyways see what happens down the road and maybe something might change between the two of you

 

[USEDCAR]

Does he remember you from school? He doesn't sound too interested in being your friend. If he didn't add you on facebook or instagram or he didn't text you back it sounds like he's not too interested.


You don't want to be obsessed with any guy gay or straight. You are going to end up getting hurt and you might freak out the guy your liking.

 

[TX-Beau]

OK you had a professional transaction with this guy, then you freaked him out.

You control it by deleting his number and saving yourself.

 

[Peloso]

When you obsess over something, OCD or not, you lose perspective.

You are being weird. I suggest you find the courage and strength to make this situation the subject of your next therapy session.

Also, social media is a booby trapped hell for people with OCD.

 

[cabinfever]

His non response was your answer.

You have to focus on accepting that.

 

[USEDCAR]

I was facebook friends with a guy and he would blow up my messenger and if i didn't respond send thumbs up and same with his friends they had to cut him off. The guy never understood why, i tried to explain it to him he kinda understood and started up again. i had to block him, He was 44 but identify as a 25 year old and all his friends was in there 20s. I am sure he had some type of OCD and other issues.

In that situation you remind me of him.

 

[KaraBulut]

...In that situation you remind me of him.

The OP for this thread has been banned, so I'm going to close this thread.

I don't want to get into a lot of details but I also don't want to give the impression that the reason for the ban was punitive or that we weren't trying to help him.

The OP of this thread has had at 3-4 accounts in the past. The scenario that he has posted about is repeated by each of those previous accounts. In the past, he has asked for the same advice and then asked to have his account deleted, repeatedly. The repeated join, post, delete pattern seems to be connected to his OCD.

OCD is a terrible illness and in cases like this, where someone- who seems like an otherwise nice guy- is caught in a pattern that they can't stop is painful for them and for the people who care about them.

The people who respond in this forum do so in good faith but we're not a replacement for professionally-trained psychotherapists and psychiatrists. Hopefully, the OP will find professionals who can help him.