>>>Why do we have to say we are any of those? Can't we just admit we like sex despite who the sex is with? It's more liberating when you don't have to say, because by saying you have already put boundaries around it. Maybe this is just my view.
Well, let me put it this way.
Let's say you saw me getting out of my car one day, and you said "Hey - nice car." And say I responded "Why do you have to call it a car? Why does everyone have to put a label on my mode of transportation? Can't I own a mode of transportation without people having to put a fucking LABEL on it?"
You'd probably think I was a bit off my rocker.
Because "car" is what people call that thing. You know, the mode of transportation with four wheels, a motor, and the enclosed compartment you sit in. Now I might insist that I don't own a car. I might insist I own a motorcycle with double wheels and an enclosed seating compartment. That's my right. But everybody else out there is going to call it a "car". Because that's what everybody else calls that thing.
When it comes to my sexuality, I like guys. That means I'm gay. That's the word that people use to describe "guys who dig guys". Now, I might fight that label. I might insist that "you can't put a label on me", and that I'm open to be whatever I want to be. I can insist I'm a straight guy who just fucks other guys. My right to insist on it. But the fact remains - I dig guys, and the word that most people use for such people is "gay". And so "gay" is the word that most people are going to use to define my sexuality. And I'm totally fine with that word. It doesn't preclude me from "being a man", or doing masculine things, or finding women attractive. It just means I dig guys. And that's accurate.
It's been my experience that people who fight the "gay" tag, and actively campaign against the idea of "labeling" tend to do so for one main reason - they specifically don't want the "gay" tag on them. There's something about having the word "gay" applied to them that scares them. It might be that they're scared of what the term might mean. It might be that they're worried of what other people would think if their name gets associated with the word "gay". But even if that's the case, it's not the label they're worried about (I mean - they DO like guys) so much as any potential or perceived baggage that goes along with it. And so they do their utmost to distance themselves from the word as much as possible. But nearly always only in this instance, and no other. They don't object to be called "male", for instance. I've never heard anybody go on a rant about "labeling" when somebody called somebody "male" or "a man". Nope - just with gay.
I'm from Colorado. That, by definition, makes me a Coloradoan. Now, there's some modest baggage attached to that. Some might think I love skiing, or love John Denver music, or am a die-hard Denver Bronco fan. None of those are true, in fact, but it doesn't make me not a Coloradoan. And I don't fight the label. If someone asks me if I'm a Coloradoan, I don't kick and scream and insist that they can't label me like that. I just say "Yeah, I am." Because I am. Whether the "baggage" applies or not.
Lex
