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I'm gay

S

slnattak

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I thought straight porn made me straight but I just like the rougher way they treated the girls; I was much more focused on the men and not the women definitely.

oh shit I am 100% gay, I thought I was bisexual but nope- I am gay.

I just viewed gay porn like in the straight way and it was the hottest thing ever, like pure masculinity.

I was holding on to the 'bi' thing because I just uhh wanted to you know not be treated.....differently......but I'm discovering I'm a purely gay man when I let my mind wander, when I go out in public I always notice attractive men never attractive women WHY GOD WHY?

Help I'm scared I don't know what to do, my family will never accept me. I don't have any friends they are all I have. it seems like everything I do I try to attract the same sex even subconsciously. I also can't help but flirt with men I try not to but it just comes up. They say it's nothing to be ashamed of it's okay but its just WEIRD. I grew up in a VERY small town and NEVER saw two men doing stuff or holding hands or anything.... but I look at men in a very sexual way HELP.
 
Get help you sick sick sick man.
You are so fucking filthy and discusting, twisted sick bastard.

Non-christian heathen sodomites burn in hell you know....fag.


No dude, just chill, you said you used to be bi, it's the exact same thing. You just prefer men instead of women wich makes sense since women suck and horribly incompetent at absolutly everything.
 
You've been a member for four and a half years, so apparently, this can't come as too much of a shock to you. :)

>>>Help I'm scared I don't know what to do.

First, you get a grip. Being gay means one thing, and one thing only - you dig guys. That's it. That's all. Nothing else is different, nothing else changes.

>>>I don't have any friends they are all I have.

Well, which is it? Either you've got friend or you don't. It may be that you have friends that are homophobic. Presumably, you'll be finding out whether or not they are in the near future. If they are, you let them go. Don't use that "they're all I have" statement. If you were on a sinking ship, would you cling to a heavy safe because "that's all I have"? No, you'd let that puppy sink, and go searching for something that'll keep you afloat. And if that's what you gotta do, that's what you're gonna do. :)

>>>They say it's nothing to be ashamed of it's okay but its just WEIRD.

It's weird because you're not used to it. But you know how hot that porn is? How hot your fantasies are? How RIGHT it all seems? That's you moving in the right direction. It's gonna stop seeming weird, and start seeming you.

So what do you do? First, as I said, get a grip. Take some time to get used to the idea. Say "I'm gay" in the mirror every morning. And try it on for size. Walk around knowing that you're gay. Get used to it. And soon, you'll start enjoying it. :) Then we can work on the next step.

Lex
 
Congratulations!

"ONE OF US, ONE OF US!"

I kid. Anyways, you should have already been out as bisexual, if you've thought of yourself as bisexual that long.


"There is object proof that homosexuality is more interesting than heterosexuality. It's that one knows a considerable number of heterosexuals who would wish to become homosexuals, whereas one knows very few homosexuals who would really like to become heterosexuals."
- Michel Foucault
 
What-ever.

I'm not 'out' as anything because that whole concept is silly. This is more of an internal struggle.
 
I think you're being a little overly dramatic, given the length of time you've been hanging out in this clubhouse.

Why the internal struggle? You like cock. You want sex and intimacy with men. As many of us can attest, you can live a positive, happy and emotionally healthy life as a homo.

You are perfect proof that many guys only use 'bi-sexual' as a way of denying the truth to themselves and to others, as though it is somehow better than gay.
 
slnattak said:
What-ever.

I'm not 'out' as anything because that whole concept is silly. This is more of an internal struggle.
Click to expand...

if your other threads are any indication, you're not out as anything because you are totally uncomfortable with your sexuality and with other gay people. you are not exactly a shining example.

the concept of being 'out' isn't silly. it's necessary and aimed at the liberation of desire and social equality.
 
>>>I'm not 'out' as anything because that whole concept is silly.

Bullshit. "Out" doesn't mean putting on rainbow short-shorts and dancing in pride parades. It means getting beyond that whole "oh shit I'm gay" thing that you're talking about. It means growing comfortable enough with the idea that it doesn't matter who knows you like dick. Because, you'll find, most people don't care.

Lex
 
I'm still confused though. I want some sort of brain scan to make sure. Because to be honest I could have gotten this way through abuse. I just want to make sure, by science, if I really was born this way or I was made this way.
 
I tend not to label myself to avoid these problems. I'm pretty much gay, but there are a couple exceptions. Like my last gf. She only dates bi / gay guys, and knows how to make them feel very comfortable about being with a girl. But I digress.

If you thought you were bi and know you say you're gay, it's MUCH easier to say what encompasses both: "I LIKE GUYS!"
 
slnattak said:
I'm still confused though. I want some sort of brain scan to make sure. Because to be honest I could have gotten this way through abuse. I just want to make sure, by science, if I really was born this way or I was made this way.
Click to expand...


Save your money. It won't change anything.

Therapy might be a better investment.

Not therapy to deal with being gay... therapy to stop all this inertia so that you can get out there and start enjoying life.
 
Few transitions in life are smooth. So get out of the small town and meet people who are also gay, and become comfortable with your orientation in life. It is a good thing, and give yourself an opportunity to grow out of the closet that small town kept you in. You will discover laten when looking back, it was your preconceptions about the response of others that keep you trapped within.

Good luck, and enjoy who you are, not others might want you to be. There true happiness and contentment will be found.

Shep+
 
I'm still confused though. I want some sort of brain scan to make sure. Because to be honest I could have gotten this way through abuse. I just want to make sure, by science, if I really was born this way or I was made this way.
Click to expand...

You really do need some counselling.

Firstly, 'brain scans' do not indicate sexuality.

Secondly, 'abuse' does not make you a homo. And it is pretty disturbing if you think it does.

Thirdly, if you were abused as a child, you should get counselling sooner rather than later.

Fourthly, I can assure you that I knew I was different from the time I was four years old. Being a homo is nature, not nurture. It is a gift, not a curse.

So, make an appointment with a therapist and figure out why you can't accept this very fundamental part of your existence.
 
>>>I'm still confused though. I want some sort of brain scan to make sure. Because to be honest I could have gotten this way through abuse. I just want to make sure, by science, if I really was born this way or I was made this way.

Think of it this way. Say you're left-handed. You could research the handedness of your entire family, and go check your parents and instructors to see if they influenced the outcome, and maybe have psychiatrists help recover past memories to see why you ended up this way.

Or you could just buy a pair of lefty scissors and get on with your life.

Don't approach your sexuality like a problem. Because problems are supposed to be "solved" or "fixed". Your sexuality is a datum. A fact about you as simple and fixed as your height or your left-handedness. If you accept it as part of you, it ceases being a problem. Rareboy says being gay is a blessing. I just say it kicks ass. Because it does. :)

Lex
 
Think of it this way. Say you're left-handed.
Click to expand...

Whaddya know, I actually AM left-handed for real. ;D

It's a nice comparison but I have to know FOR SURE so I can get on with my life and accept myself fully. I was sexually molested actually (by a woman), and hey it could have *something* to do with me being gay. It might even explain why I like porn that degrades women, because I think my homosexuality might have something to do with my contempt for the opposite gender. I do not get along with women that are in power over me, because I get flash backs of when I was molested. I know it's irrational but I can't help it. She was in charge of taking care of me (a babysitter) and she abandoned my trust. I've tried to get over it but any thought of penetrating a girl is sickening to me. I seem to have so much admiration for the "straight men" in porn that can treat girls like that, because it makes me feel like I am getting back at the person who did that to me. the things she said to me that day.

I also on the flipside like shows about 'women power' because they help me forgive the women that mistreated me. So it is a complex issue.
 
Your problem isn't your sexuality. Your problem is the way this woman warped your view of women. So get into therapy and work on that. If you think your sexuality is a direct product of that - although I doubt it - just hold off on declaring teams and dating until you make some progress in your therapy.

Lex
 
I just want to know why I am this way. I am so curious by nature. Most boys look at girls sexually. I USED to in a small way but guys is def. stronger. Nobody likes feeling different, I want to know why my brain is wired this way.
 
At the risk of repeating myself...

You don't dissect your lefthandedness. You don't feel the need to figure out what happened to make you left-handed. You just pick up the pen in your left hand and write. You accept it.

I don't know why I'm gay. I've never felt the need to investigate my past and dissect my parents' actions to see if I can find a reason. I just like guys. I too watched straight porn growing up, and liked it, but I found I was more drawn to the guys in it. Eventually it hit me - oh, I'm gay - at which point I just started working on accepting that, and being gay.

It doesn't matter why. If you like guys, you like guys, and that's extremely unlikely to change. So just like guys, y'know?

Lex
 
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