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I'm getting mixed signals...

A

andrew17

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So I just recently started working at a fast food restaurant, and I quickly became friends with my manager. Keep in mind, I am not out of the closet. Well I have only been working here for a couple months. We have become practically inseparable. People at work always bust gay jokes on us. I have also heard talk around that people think he's 'gay'. But whenever I do hang out with him, we talk about girls, or get drunk. At first, I liked him as nothing more but a friend. But the other day when I stayed the night at his house, I had a dream that we made out. I woke up with the biggest boner, and realized that I want him really bad. He's all I ever think about anymore, and I dont know what to do! I don't want to directly come out to him. Any advice would be great
 
Sorry, I was meaning to type a bit more. But he always calls me by the name girls usually call me and always tells me he loves me.. I dont even know how to explain it, but I really feel as if somethings there.

Should I wait until we're drunk one of these nights and bring it up?
 
I'm pretty sure he's kidding as far as the love thing goes.

As to bringing things up when you're drunk, I suppose you could as long as you know he won't get violent when he's drunk. Ideally, I would only have a drink or two and not get wasted or something. Getting really drunk means you can brush things off if you want to, giving yourself an out.

If you are going to say anything, I would just come out to him. I wouldn't mention that you have feelings for him right away.
 
waking up with a boner after dreaming about your boss does not count as mixed signals.
 
This seems to be quite the pattern for you going back to 2007. This is the fourth guy with similar stories. Does this really keep repeating? If so you ought to be an expert on the topic. Any gay friends yet? Getting drunk with a boss might be a good porn plot line, but not all that advisable. Why not look for another job and stay friends with this guy? If you continue to make being drunk the excuse for big boners and flirting you are in danger of becoming dependent upon alcohol for sex.

Have you made changes in your life since 2007 which would make it easier to find more accessable partners? It's time fir a little roadmap. Where you are and where you want to be. Then perhaps we could suggest how to get there.
 
you are getting signals and i dont think they are mixed. you have every right to feel he is flirting with you, because he is.

of course he will be a chicken shit if you call him on it OR he may welcome your advance. you may scare the shit out of him if he realizes hes gay/bi all of a sudden but that isnt the issue, he just wants a deeper "male relationship" that is past the buddy stage. im not talking about deepthroating here necessairly lol..

but clearly there is a bromance, and while you may know where you stand with your sexual desires, he may not.

i dont think coming out to him will necessarily help, at first, as he thinks you are straight as well, since you are not out to him.

he may only be comfortable with another "straight" guy but its clear this guy has some homo feelings. allow the friendship to develop naturally or he may feel you are trying to take advantage. i see this situation all the time so its pretty common, just remember he is reaching out to you and will return your affection if its properly placed. he has to know you are comfortable with being yourself in order for him to be.
 
There is a saying that you should not mix your meat with your bread. That is, keep the sex out of the work-place. Such arrangement are prone to disaster. If you like him - change jobs. If you like the job - don't get involved.

my take,

Rand
 
Seriously, there are some straight guys out there that could be slightly flirty but nothing more.

Take it for what it is - be friends, and nothing more, with a co-worker.

Cuz, if you go crazy and try and take it to the next level, the outcome/impact might be negative, and you're still stuck with seeing him everyday as your manager!
 
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