I'm getting ready to come out

[biguy562]

Hey all! It's been awhile!! I think I am at the point in my life where I am going to begin to come out. I am 25 years old. I have only had one boyfriend in my life that lasted for 8 months. I recently met a guy and we have hit it off amazingly well. We both feel so connected to each other from the start. I have never felt this way with any other person, even my 1st boyfriend (ex) In a way I feel like we were made for each other. At birth, his right ear was not full formed and he has trouble hearing and I can't really use my left arm/leg very well because I have cerebral palsy. So we are somewhat perfect for each other as far as the right/left side is concerned (haha!). I also have a stutter when I talk as well.

He is out and seems to understand me not being out yet. I really don't mind if my friends know or not it is just my parents I am worried about. I am graduating in May and was going to start coming out after I graduate anyway.

This past weekend was the first time I've ever did anything with another guy in public (not sexual) but just holding hands, hugging, and a couple kisses. I felt a bit nervous yet comfortable at the same time. Actually Sunday we went to the park and the lake, held hands the entire time and I did not really feel uncomfortable at all then!

I know this is mundane but do yall have any tips for me as far as coming out? My mom said in the past that if me or my sister would turn out to be gay she would be ok with it. My dad is another story. In a way I think eventually he would be ok with it however another side says otherwise. He is VERY stubborn.

 

[landers]

First off. Woohoo, good for you.

Second. I'll tell you what my best friend told me. You have to come out in the way that's best for you. I would tell your mom first though, and your best friend. As for your dad, well mine is also incredibly stubborn, but the first thing he said to me was "I'm not stupid", don't count him out, but do it with your mom there she can mediate if necessary.

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

In a way I feel like we were made for each other. At birth, his right ear was not full formed and he has trouble hearing and I can't really use my left arm/leg very well because I have cerebral palsy. So we are somewhat perfect for each other as far as the right/left side is concerned (haha!). I also have a stutter when I talk as well.

When I read this, I swear I teared up. Beautiful! I am guessing you might be more than somewhat of a perfect match - how about just a 'perfect match'?

I guess it would be easy to say who cares about what the old man thinks. But I would suggest you come out to your mom and sister first. Assuming they treat this news as 'no-big-deal', chances are your dad will come around knowing that you, a fully-grown adult human being, are entitled to live your life filled with joy and happiness - regardless of his acceptance or not.

Best of luck to you both.

 

[biguy562]

Thanks Landers and SteveyBoyLA! Both my parents have health issues and they are down all the time about not being more "happy" around me. They care about me A LOT and in a way I feel like they will just want me to be happy. Like you said Stevey I am a fully grown adult and I feel like I need to be able to be happy whether he accepts me or not. My sister is about the same way though (she might even be worse than my dad) I also think my parents may have an idea because for the past couple years I have only told them about "guys" and no "girls" haha.

Stevey, we get along so well together! We are from the same town and never thought we would ever find anyone in this town.

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

Too good buddy! Also, it's very refreshing to see a post about a 'bf' that doesn't include his or your physical 'hotness', sexual compatibilty, penis size, etc. It's about the heart, holding hands, hugging, and kissing that does it for me.

You sound like a great guy, and you deserve all the love from a special person! I'm happy for you!

 

[terps420]

First of all, congratulations on finding someone you feel is worth coming out for and congratulations again for feeling like you're ready to at all.

I have a niece with cerebral palsy and I must say, I do not even know you, but you are a much stronger man than I could ever even dream of being. To have such a positive view on things, jesus; may life bring you all the joy and happiness that I'm sure you deserve.

To the advice part, let your parents be your parents. The thing a lot of us don't realize is that our view of happiness and theirs are completely different. They view happiness as an idealized version of what their life is now, and therefore we will not be even close to that solely because of our sexuality, which of course isn't true. Stress it to them that this guy makes you happy. Smile like it's going out of style when you speak of him. Stubborn parents or not... they'll notice the difference in your smile.

 

[Seasoned]

99.9% of parents want their children to be happy. The rest are sociopaths. The problem is that a lot of parents define happiness on their terms and not their childrens' terms. And, of course, some extend that happiness into the next world and that's when religious views come into play.

I have the feeling that your parents are quite in tune with your happiness given the challenges you've met in your life. I think the great fear that parents of differently abled children have is the fear their child won't find a partner. I am overjoyed for you guys and hope all of your parents will feel the same way. Smiles and sunshine on your relationship.