I'm In Love, But Should I Pull Back?

[dahighest]

Three months ago, I met an awesome guy and we had an instant connection. Upon meeting, we were very passionate, although we still haven't had penetrative sex. We continued to date, and now I feel I have fallen for him. He has previously demonstrated behaviors that indicate that he relationship-material & I know he is a genuine good person. However, in the last 3 weeks, he has slightly started to pull back. I still get daily texts from him, but he doesn't come over my place as much anymore.

Anyhow, he is having some financial troubles, which he has started to open up to me about. When I questioned his vision for us, he says he can see us together, but he is very insecure due to his current situation and that he doesn't want to hurt me. He revealed he had sex with someone else about 2-3 weeks after we started hanging out. I attempted to have sex stupidly last week, hoping this would return the closeness we shared in the first few weeks, but he resisted and, frankly, wasn't much aroused. When I asked how he could sleep with someone else, he mentioned that he really respects me & wants our sex to happen naturally (not forced).

I seem to keep pressing the issue of a relationship, but now friends are telling me to pull back. I see the same advice in Google searchs, but I'm so scared this will cause even greater distance between us. I really want to be there for him, since he's going through a hard time financially. I also really want to be with him, but I feel that pulling back may be best for me, as I'm very sensitive and emotional.

Anyone have any advice or been in my shoes before? I'd love any feedback.

 

[Disturbance]

Keep in touch with him, but restrain your interactions with him.
Sometimes people need time to figure out what they really want.

 

[sixthson]

Whatever you do, don't get involved in his financial situation. You don't want that to be an issue between you. Money, like sex, won't make things better between you. I think you should pull back and see where things go. There is not much you can do if he is pulling back, either.

 

[bruce379]

So he hooked up with somebody else. Big deal. He's gay and you're not married. He's entitled to hook up with anyone he likes. Same thing with you.
If you have gazillions to spare and willing to help him out just be careful he doesn't pull you under. An even better proposition would be to help him find a better job if you're in that sort of position. I personally know of some acquaintances that helped out other guys by pointing them out to a job opening and opening doors to better careers. But like what others said direct financial involvement must be treated delicately.
Also try to give him some space but offer meaningful help if you are in a position to do so.

 

[QueenxElsa]

I wouldn't go for it.

 

[HunterM]

Keep in touch with him...but start dating other people.

 

[Seasoned]

It would be a good idea to pull back so as not to get hurt. Sometimes the intellect and the libido are at cross purposes. I'd stay friends and be open to more, but I wouldn't put my life on hold and I wouldn't financially subsidize him.

 

[KaraBulut]

I seem to keep pressing the issue of a relationship, but now friends are telling me to pull back. I see the same advice in Google searchs, but I'm so scared this will cause even greater distance between us. I really want to be there for him, since he's going through a hard time financially. I also really want to be with him, but I feel that pulling back may be best for me, as I'm very sensitive and emotional.

Pulling back sounds a bit like running away in this context.

Walk, instead.

Make a conscious decision that this guy is not ready for a relationship. He needs to get things together. Have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel and that you don't want to push the issue when you feel like he's got some other things that he needs to focus on.

Then give him the space to focus on his issues while you move on.