I'm in the middle of a gay soap opera

[G-Lexington]

It's not my mind I have to put to it.

...I guess I'm not done here. Maybe I should head out again. With you over my shoulders.

Lex

 

[HunterM]

To the OP,
If you want to stick it out or stick it to X, it's your dick to do what you want. If you're looking for a long term relationship where X will take you as his first priority over the Rev., this ain't it. Perhaps, X wants to stay is because the Rev. is his sugar daddy?

 

[Benvolio]

He tells me I'm the first. I trust him about that. The reverend wouldnt know about it. They don't talk about the openness of their relationship.

If you do not want to drop him, I think that if it becomes public that he has gay lovers, the publicity probably will not extend to friends of his roommate. There is some risk but not much. The other alternative is to tell him you saw the envelope and express your concern. Perhaps he will decide to drop the Rev.

 

[ChickenGuy]

*cough*

At the risk of being very dry and literal and banal....

There are other explanations for seeing a letter with a name on it without instantly jumping to the conclusion that X's partner is automatically the one and same person.

First, did you check that the address on the letter was the same as his own?

Second, couldn't the name you saw have been the landlord, or a member of the local resident's association?

Third, couldn't the name you saw have been a former occupant of the apartment?

I've had both the second and third instances happen to me.

So is it realistic at this stage without further evidence to think that a Baptist pastor is living with X?

 

[refujiunderground]

had to edit this. i don't know what to tell you except you should still run away while you can. why are you sticking around like you have no other options? are you that into this guy where you feel the need to get yourself involved in something you have nothing to do with?

 

[G-Lexington]

It's his first guy - first time having sex after years (decades?) of feeling unlovable and unfuckable. It's not easy to up and walk away from the one guy who has expressed interest in you sexually, ever.

 

[doctorsun]

It's his first guy - first time having sex after years (decades?) of feeling unlovable and unfuckable. It's not easy to up and walk away from the one guy who has expressed interest in you sexually, ever.

Exactly. And just for the record, I didn't exactly make it easy for this guy. It took weeks for me to agree to meet him. I was wary of the situation from the first time we spoke on Growlr. I didn't just dive head-first into anything. If all he was looking for was a fuck buddy so he could cheat on his boyfriend, he had every opportunity to move on and find someone easier. He didn't, though. He pursued me and gained my trust. Despite the outward appearances of our relationship, I truly believe there's something real to be had from all of this. He knows what my feelings and intentions are, too. He knows what I'm looking for. I honestly don't believe he would have taken things this far if I was nothing but an orgasm machine for him.

*cough*

At the risk of being very dry and literal and banal....

There are other explanations for seeing a letter with a name on it without instantly jumping to the conclusion that X's partner is automatically the one and same person.

First, did you check that the address on the letter was the same as his own?

Second, couldn't the name you saw have been the landlord, or a member of the local resident's association?

Third, couldn't the name you saw have been a former occupant of the apartment?

I've had both the second and third instances happen to me.

So is it realistic at this stage without further evidence to think that a Baptist pastor is living with X?

I also looked at the pictures they have in their house (of which there are none featuring X, by the way) and the website for the church has a picture of Rev. Closet Case. It's the same guy. So, either X is living with him or X and his real boyfriend get Pastor Penis' mail and have pictures of him hanging in their house.

 

[rareboy]

Why isn't this just moved to the 'safe harbour' of Coming Out and Relationships?

My advice.

Cut your losses.

You don't need to waste your life being the star in a soap opera unless you are either desperate for the attention or getting paid to be in the role.

 

[AlmondMilk]

For me it's too complicated. If I'm dating a guy, I don't want him to have feeling for someone else and still "date" him even though he considers the guy a roommate.