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All that spitting up....
All that pooping....
All that colic after stuffed cabbages....
NO THANK YOU!
Like father like son.
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No Animated GIFs I'm Keeping My Baby.
- Thread starter Cormac135
- Start date
Like father like son.
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Not sure if it was a 9 pounder, but definitely overweight.
GreyUnderscore
JUB Addict
Maybe one day.
72-Jay
Daydreamer
Hell no. I'd rather someone shoot me dead. 
NotHardUp1
What? Me? Really?
Hell no. I'd rather someone shoot me dead.
If you time it just right, when you go to pick up your kid at school, you can have both.
luckynumbah7
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I think my brain just penciled in its nightmare fuel for tonight, thank you very much.
Nope, nope and nope again.
Peloso
no, really, I'm fine
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I would never inflict my version of fatherhood on an innocent child.
Besides, with my past, it would come out looking like one of those unpleasantly misshapen yams that everyone passes up and ends up in the bottom of the bin and is still there there after two weeks. Eventually, you start to feel sorry for it and consider buying it as a curiosity or something but then you notice it's starting to rot so you tell the proprietor but they only speak Chinese and misinterpret what you said to mean "Your culture is vapid and rife with maggots" so they start screaming at you to get out of their store but your arms are filled with produce and you're not sure if you should try to pay or just leave, but figure you should probably leave because their ninety year old uncle appears with a samurai sword so you put down the produce but unknowingly drop a lemon which you trip over on your way out of the store and fall face first onto the sidewalk, smashing in your front teeth which leads to hours and hours of time with an oral surgeon who is secretly a peyote-fueled psychotic and before you know it you wake up tied to a life-size statue of Crispin Glover in a dank basement while the oral surgeon taunts you with the very same rotting yam you once considered buying but is now covered with mold and tiny, tiny little goats with the head of your grandmother and that's when you realize you've been given peyote by the mad surgeon and suddenly everything starts to spin and get blurry and the next thing you know you're waking up on the floor of a South African prison next to a flatulent Hillary Clinton impersonator while sadistic prison guards spray you both with a hose.
No, no kids for me.
Besides, with my past, it would come out looking like one of those unpleasantly misshapen yams that everyone passes up and ends up in the bottom of the bin and is still there there after two weeks. Eventually, you start to feel sorry for it and consider buying it as a curiosity or something but then you notice it's starting to rot so you tell the proprietor but they only speak Chinese and misinterpret what you said to mean "Your culture is vapid and rife with maggots" so they start screaming at you to get out of their store but your arms are filled with produce and you're not sure if you should try to pay or just leave, but figure you should probably leave because their ninety year old uncle appears with a samurai sword so you put down the produce but unknowingly drop a lemon which you trip over on your way out of the store and fall face first onto the sidewalk, smashing in your front teeth which leads to hours and hours of time with an oral surgeon who is secretly a peyote-fueled psychotic and before you know it you wake up tied to a life-size statue of Crispin Glover in a dank basement while the oral surgeon taunts you with the very same rotting yam you once considered buying but is now covered with mold and tiny, tiny little goats with the head of your grandmother and that's when you realize you've been given peyote by the mad surgeon and suddenly everything starts to spin and get blurry and the next thing you know you're waking up on the floor of a South African prison next to a flatulent Hillary Clinton impersonator while sadistic prison guards spray you both with a hose.
No, no kids for me.
HoodedRat
Rat Lives Matter
Bear a child and ruin my figure? No chance!