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I'm Letting Facebook Out Me to My Friends

RicanDAB

RicanDAB

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I prefer to discuss my personal life with friends in person and I do that if they are near, but given that many of them are across the miles and I don't have the time to call everyone, I thought this was a great idea.

I've reconnected with many old friends on Facebook recently, and I found it to be a great vehicle to passively let them know more about me. Most all of my friends there are far away so I find it to be the best way to communicate with them all in one place.

I don't have anything that is screaming GAY on my profile. What I do have plainly noted is that I am in a relationship and I leave it at that. Many of my old friends have not heard of me having a relationship in a long time so I figured this little highlight will prompt people to ask.

Two of them have already noticed and have messaged me for info, and I took the opportunity to tell them that I am partnered and happy. I have received very positive replies from both (from one high school friend it was a natural reaction ... because I learned that he TOO is partnered ..|) ... I will continue to honestly answer everyone that asks, it's only fair to do that to a friend. I've also learned that there is no need to go through the drama of the "I'm gay" speech when you can simply use other words that will convey the same message. It's actually easier and more natural.

Not saying on here that this is the best way to come out; just saying that this is a good way for ME to do it with so many that I cannot reach personally. I remember starting the coming out process right here on JUB in Jan '07 ... I sure have come a long way since then, thanks guys (*8*) !
 
so far the only friends i seem to have on fb are my jub friends. and i have to admit that i've thought about opening up my account to others as i've seen some old familiar faces pop up in that 'you might know' feature.

it seems so much easier, you just let it all out there and let everyone else sort it out for themselves.
 
Coming out just means "no more lies"- to yourself or anyone else.

In most cases, it's not important how you do come out- honesty is honesty whether it's out loud, in writing or on Facebook.

Relatives (particularly parents) and close friends should be told in a more personal way, though.
 
I think everyone knew before facebook, but it's a pretty easy way to let some of my cousins know for sure who probably already guessed years ago.
 
I'm explicitly out on myspace in my "personal info" section but in a more subtle way on facebook. I have some queer-related groups in my profile on facebook, but my "personal info" section says nothing about any of my identity categories.
 
Me too!!!

KaraBulut said:
Coming out just means "no more lies"- to yourself or anyone else.

In most cases, it's not important how you do come out- honesty is honesty whether it's out loud, in writing or on Facebook.

Relatives (particularly parents) and close friends should be told in a more personal way, though.
Click to expand...

Nicely put!!

I spoke to a few people personally (incl. my parents & close friends) about me being gay, and after that happened, I put it on my profile that I'm interested in men, and the reaction has been good thus far.
 
Well, it has been a few weeks since I started the out process on FB and I feel things are going quite well. Mentioning my partner in a casual conversation within chat or a message in my inbox (most of the time it has been with people asking me who I went with on my recent vacation) is being received fairly well. Most everyone to whom I am conveying this information are not close enough to me that would warrant me telling them in a more personal way, so in fact this is working out nicely. The more the opportunity comes across, the easier it becomes and I start to realize that it's really not that big a deal anymore.
 
I think someone should come out via the status thing.

ashonfire is... enjoying the intimate company of other men.
 
Well I put myself down as atracted to men and women, no ones asked any questions.... I'm either thinking that people don't pay much atention to it, people already knew or people dont care!
 
Have it showing correctly on Friendster while blank on FB. Figures nobody visits friendster anymore
 
Does anyone who is out on one of these social networking sites get random messages from strange men in your area looking to hook up? It's not really my thing, so I always politely decline them. I'm just confused b/c I'm new to the whole social networking thing, and I don't know if this is considered common practice and ok etiquette for guys to do this out of the blue... or if it is considered creepy. I don't even think my profile pic is all that attractive.
 
Cedric said:
Does anyone who is out on one of these social networking sites get random messages from strange men in your area looking to hook up? It's not really my thing, so I always politely decline them. I'm just confused b/c I'm new to the whole social networking thing, and I don't know if this is considered common practice and ok etiquette for guys to do this out of the blue... or if it is considered creepy. I don't even think my profile pic is all that attractive.
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I think if your profile states that you are "single" and "interested in men", then you will probably get more of these random messages. There is a way to do a search within your network for profiles which filter by these two categories and people probably find others that way. However, you did state earlier that you are subtlely out on FB. I would then have to assume that you are getting the messages from people on the queer-related groups you belong to or that notice you belong to them.

In general, I would think removing any reference to the fact that you are the "single" and/or "interested in men" would help decrease this random targeting. I don't think there is anything wrong with politely declining. Many of these guys I think are lonely and just fishing the single gay men in the hopes that someone bites! They usually get the message once, but if someone keeps harrassing you, you can always block them.
 
RicanDAB said:
However, you did state earlier that you are subtlely out on FB. I would then have to assume that you are getting the messages from people on the queer-related groups you belong to or that notice you belong to them.
/QUOTE]

I actually don't mind getting messages from the queer-related groups b/c they tend to be about political issues, and I welcome the messages because I'm in the groups for that reason. But, in any case, you've given me good advice about cutting down on the traffic from random lonely men who search for single men on the web. Maybe I will make my profile private and viewable only to my friends. I haven't been harrassed by any guys, though, since they just stop when I say I'm not interested. I just find it kind of weird that someone would do that.
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OK, I just realized that I may have outed myself more than planned on Facebook :badgrin:

For those of you not familiar with the site, there are these applications you can add to your profile. One of my friends who is gay sends me a "Super HOT Gay Men" gift (little icons of semi-naked men that go on your profile). If one does not have the application already, one has to install it - so I do, and I uncheck the boxes that puts these actions on your newsfeed and that puts the box in your profile for all to see (my intent was to keep this for my eyes only - was not looking to be ALL out there right now). Despite these precautions, little did I know that it ALSO places a link to "Add Super HOT Gay Men" as attachments to messages in the box where people can go write on your Wall! :eek:

Was I shocked? Yes.

I now assume there are some of my unknowing friends that saw it and now are like "OK!" ... Am I mortified? Surprisingly not at all.

I'm pretty unfazed about it now, I am actually kinda amused by the snafu, and am like, OH WELL. No one has written me about it, but I have since removed the application from my list which has subsequently removed the link from the Wall.

Life goes on ... ..|
 
I've outed myself on Facebook. I listed myself as Interested in "Men." My sister's on there, a few cousins, an uncle. I did it on MySpace too, which covered my brother. Problem for me is that nobody in my family ever really talks about anything, so it still feels like I'm in kind of a glass closet. (Maybe those picutres I posted from the NYC Pride Parade will help, LOL.)

I did definitively come out to my brother though. I knew he'd see the pictures on MySpace, so when he asked where I spent the day, I told him I was at the Pride Parade. His response: "Were you loud and proud?" I answered, "Not loud." Quick, to the point, and drama free, just how I like it.

Sometimes -- scratch that, all the time -- I wish I could just be out of the closet without having to come out. I can't stand the idea of thrusting attention upon myself. I don't think anyone in my family would disown me, but I also don't want pats on the back and a round of "Good for you's." I just want to be who I am without all the pressure and anxiety. Thank goodness for the age of social networking, or I might not have come out nearly as much as I have.
 
ashonfire said:
I think someone should come out via the status thing.

ashonfire is... enjoying the intimate company of other men.
Click to expand...

This is how i came out on myspace.
on my status: "IS BISEXUAL".

dat was after i posted a bulletin.

lol. wat a great relief it was!:gogirl:
 
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