I'm not sure I'm gay

[AngelFromAbove]

^^^You are actually a bit defensive. I told you that I know a lot of straight people who have lost interest in sex or romance...for a zillion reasons...and my point was that not a single one of them wonder if they are not straight anymore (in response to your Says Who?)...and this was because you wondered if you were not gay anymore. My point was entirely relevant and in direct response to what you were talking about. I was not arguing at all.

Your subsequent response led me to believe that you think sexuality is a choice. I don't think you "cannot be gay anymore". That is what I was implying.

Again, am I defensive or am I simply addressing your points? Regardless, I never said or implied sexuality is a choice. However, by definition, being gay and all that it entails does not apply to me at this point in my life. Celibacy would be a choice; in my case, it is not celibacy. If this were not an issue relating to sexuality and a person experiences some sort of change in his or her life that would cause him or her to reapply a label, would it be as much of an issue? Ultimately, the label is not the issue as much as what I am experiencing or not experiencing.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Yeah, as far as the thread title goes...

People like throwing around that silly phrase - "sexuality is fluid" - and it creates a lot of misconceptions. Because while yes - sexuality is more fluid than a black/white binary system, it most certainly doesn't actually change. You are born with a certain sexuality, somewhere in the spectrum (in the MANY spectrums really), and you die with it. Only two things about your sexuality can change throughout the course of your life. One is your sex drive. The other is your UNDERSTANDING and SELF-AWARENESS of your sexuality. A frat boy who was half-heartedly fucking girls until he discovered his endless craving for dick, didn't "turn" gay. He was always gay, but for multiple reasons - cultural, emotional, intellectual, etc. - was willfully or unwillfully unaware of it. His sexuality did not change - his self-awareness did.

Just wanted to post this, because so many gay guys say "sexuality is fluid" when what they mean is "I hope I might turn/have already turned straight".

Sexuality does not change? I am typing right now that I've had a dramatic change in sexuality and you're telling me it does not change. There are plenty of people who experience changes in various aspects of their sexuality from sex drive to fluctuations in emotional attachment as well as sexual orientation. If sexuality is not fluid for you, fine. However, do not speak for everyone. I assure you, as an individual, I have been completely aware of my sexuality and I have had no qualms with it. I am also aware that there has been a change.

Personally, I'm fine with the physiological change. As I have said before, it leaves me unsure about the path in life to pursue. As for your last statement, I'm sure you've met several gay men who have made that statement due to self-hatred or denial. However, there are also those gay men who simply have a better understanding of sexuality than you.