I'm not sure what to do...

[coolcats]

Okay, before i begin, howabout some background info, yes?
I live in a pretty accepting small Oregonian town. Only one friend knows i am bisexual, and I have no intention of telling anyone else anytime soon. Its not eating away at me or anything... Like I am very lucky because most, if not all, of my friends and family wouldnt care less if i was gay/ straight/ alien/ had three tits lol etc. however, whats stopping me is the knowledge that people will treat me different, wether they think they will or not, it will definitely be different and i wont like it. Everyone thinks im straight and im fine with that lol. I certainly am not the stereotypical gay. NO one suspects anything. ANYWHO...thats a story for some other time.
Now, onto the main problem (Actually i lied...a little more background info
I fell in love with a straight guy earlier this year. Well, maybe it wasnt love, but it was definitely the closest thing ive ever gotten to it in my life. obvoiously, that ended up in failure...
BUT theres this other boy i work with...I thought he was liking me for a while, but now im almost positive he does. He always goes out of his way to touch me. its...hard to explain. He flirts alot too. And then his best friend texted me once and said "If you were gay you know i wouldnt treat you any different right?"
i was like "uhh...okay? thank you? lol" then he said "Well if you are you can tell me, because i know someone who is interested"
that got my heart a racin. lol. My first gay relationship? holy shit. THe thing is i absolutely will NOT make the first move...due to paranoia etc etc... however he is younger than me, and probably even more nervous, so idk what to do...any thoughts/suggesstions?

 

[rareboy]

Look in your pants.

You'll see a pair of balls.

Use them.

Ask the guy if he'd be interested in hanging out sometime.

When you go out, tell him that you're bisexual.

See where it goes from there.

 

[coolcats]

fine. But easier said then done. Ive always been a little bit of a pussy, always imagining the worst out of every scenario, and id really rather my life not drastically change because of some stupid mistake i make or something.... i dont really know

lol im actually blushing right now. after reading other stories, i pretty much have it made, what the hell am i waiting for right?
but like i said above, having people treat me different over something i can control (if that made any sense) sickens me. I am very social, I love people loving me (and not to be cocky...but alot of people do), and im afraid all of that could change in an instant if word got out, and im not strong enough to have a huge emotional roller coaster right now.

 

[NineOfClubs]

fine. But easier said then done. Ive always been a little bit of a pussy, always imagining the worst out of every scenario, and id really rather my life not drastically change because of some stupid mistake i make or something.... i dont really know

When was the last time you were "bold" in a situation like this and it all turned out wrong?

Never, I'd guess.

I can tell you from experience all the meaningful relationships, and the very fun, fulfilling flings I've had--they all came about because at least one of the two parties had the nerve and daring to start something....

 

[coolcats]

>_> your right.
I let my mind escape me many a time, and i tend to overthink things alot, thats my main err...fault.

ugh. my gut tells me not to, but my heart tells me yes. hahaha as corny as that sounds, its true. I just wish...i dont know.
How did you find the guts to actually do something? Im at a loss trying to figure out how other guys do it. How brave these other guys are in telling their homophobic parents or best friends, and i cant even tell a guy i like (that possibly likes me back) i like him. whats wrong with this picture? bah. whatever ill try tomorrow. If all goes awry and he tells everyone that im bisexual, im blaming you, kay?

 

[NineOfClubs]

If all goes awry and he tells everyone that im bisexual, im blaming you, kay?

Don't do anything just 'cuz I say it's right.

But if it did come to that, which I doubt, you might eventually count being outed as bisexual a great blessing and reckon it as the day your freedom began...

 

[coolcats]

lol idk you seem pretty knowledgable to me. ANd were from the same state, i know i can trust you

yeah, i think ill wait till college to come out tho. Like many before me, its easier now that i wont ever see half of my high school ever again. And plus in college, theres all those fun one night stands to look forward to. hot dog!

 

[NineOfClubs]

^I'm not sure just being from Oregon is enough to engender trust, but it could be.

We're different here.

And you're right. It's always easier to make changes, lots of them, all at once.

It's amazing how often people get new jobs, homes and relationships all in the space of a month or so..

 

[KaraBulut]

The interesting thing is that you're kind of like a runner who is in the blocks ready to start a relay race but you're already thinking about whether you're going to drop the baton in one of the handoffs.

Well, you won't ever drop the baton if you don't get out of the blocks.

Start by responding to the friend's question with, "I'm not gay but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be interested".

The only thing that should be be analyzing and thinking about is whether you want to be doing the horizontal mambo with a coworker. These forums are full of threads about sex with coworkers gone bad.

But enough of this. Get out there and start meeting guys, dating, making out and doing what comes naturally. Really, life is too short to stress over things that seem to come naturally. Just be safe.

 

[coolcats]

thats a really interesting metaphor. The Irony of it is i actually am a runner, and i DO think about dropping the baton before every race...haha

yeah, tomorrow (well, today i guess) im going to ask him to chill tonight, invite him over, see what happens... i dont want to get my hopes up too much tho cuz thats what happened wit hthe last guy and im still not over it. but hey, i learned alot from it so...anywho

your right. Life is short. i need to start to embrace life, and whats more, myself. I need to learn that lesson now preferably while im still young,over when im 35 and life will be a hulluva lot more complicated