I'm out

[valis23]

Congratulations! Your membership card should be arriving in the mail shortly. Be proud and be happy! If your mother said your father has an inkling, that means they've discussed it and he's somewhat prepared, so tonight should go smoothly.

From here on out you get to be yourself! Isn't that cool?

If I had emailed my mother, it might hvae taken as long as two months before she read it. There's no way I'd have survived that wait.

 

[woaini]

Well, I hope you have brothers to carry on. I'm the only child~~ aaahhh

 

[star-warrior]

Aww....

Psst, parents always have an inkling Well, the sensitive ones anyway.

 

[Pushover]

UPDATE

Well, shit. Dad, apparently, had a good 'inkling' too. He and my mother went out to eat together (which I agreed upon, because mom suggested it) and when they came back everything was the same. He knew, but his attitude just says "I don't really care one way or another as long as you mow the lawn."

So, everything is fine on the gay front at home. It's just now I feel like I'm constantly being watched; like I'm going to do something 'gay' or whatever.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

Congratulations! also glad mom took it so well, maybe you'll luck out with dad too. i have a feeling they've talked about it, so i think you're in good shape.

edit: opps sorry just saw your post above. quick, go do something gay and get it out of the way, maybe they will stop watching.

 

[Jeimuzu]

UPDATE

Well, shit. Dad, apparently, had a good 'inkling' too. He and my mother went out to eat together (which I agreed upon, because mom suggested it) and when they came back everything was the same. He knew, but his attitude just says "I don't really care one way or another as long as you mow the lawn."

So, everything is fine on the gay front at home. It's just now I feel like I'm constantly being watched; like I'm going to do something 'gay' or whatever.

I love that comment! As long as you mow the lawn...

So, well done! You're more out than me now I've still gotta come out to my dad. Isn't gonna happen soon, mind you.

Quick! Go shag a man!
What? It's 'something gay'! You've got a reputation to keep up now...

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Pushover,

Mate, I moved your thread to Coming out and Realtionships because its such a great inspirational story and I'm certain it would benifit and help others so much in this forum.

Congratulations mate on being the son that your parents obviously love and care so deeply about...

As to what to do now... you dont let anything hold you back anymore... you reach for the sky and dont look back until your dreams are fulfilled. You've gotten rid of that burden... the rest of your life is yours to live!

 

[Pushover]

hehe, thanks

I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off me, but now there's an emptiness like there's something missing, and I have this chronic pain in the back of my neck and shoulders. Sounds funny, having a pain on your shoulders and you've had a non-literal weight lifted off of them, but it's still there.

Is it stress?

 

[fitglasgowlad85]

Congratulations mate, that sounds ace! Well done.

I still have to go through this stage

 

[G-Lexington]

Congratulations. Don't neglect to tell your parents how cool they are.

The emptiness may be the "now what" factor. This has probably been weighing on you (even if not terribly heavily) for some time, and it's been on the top of the "to do" list. Now that it's done...well, now what? But I think you'll come to a conclusion about that soon. I've enjoyed getting to know you here on JUB, and am pleased as a pigeon that this stage of your life has passed.

...and, lest you think the gargoyle doesn't say it anymore, welcome to the other side.

Lex

 

[Lube]

"I don't really care one way or another as long as you mow the lawn."

Classic!

Yeah, you almost sound disappointed. That's why your neck hurts. You built up this BIG issue in your head, thinking NOBODY KNEW. Every closeted guy thinks that. But your parents usually know. You're just very lucky that your parents know and they accept it so easily. It's that second part that's the hard part.

Congrats. Isn't it great?

 

[EvilForce]

hehe, thanks

I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off me, but now there's an emptiness like there's something missing, and I have this chronic pain in the back of my neck and shoulders. Sounds funny, having a pain on your shoulders and you've had a non-literal weight lifted off of them, but it's still there.

Is it stress?

Keep in mind, that now that YOU have come out of the closet, your parents now must decide what they should do. Many times you force your parents into the closet with regards to their friends, your extended families, etc. Be patient. You've just dealt them a life-altering idea overnight. An idea you have had years to come to. It wouldn't be fair to expect them to come to a level emotional level after only a few hours, or day or two. Be glad.....sounds like it went as well as humanly possible.

When I came out to my parents it didn't go nearly as bad as I feared, but it didn't go nearly as well as I hoped, and as well as it went with your parents. Being gay ain't easy. As you come out, it makes those around you have to deal with the same issues you've struggled with for years.

 

[Pushover]

Yes, my father seems indifferent and hasn't really said anything about it, but my mother has begun asking the 'questions'. It's mostly along the lines of "Did you hear about that California Gay Marriage Ban?" and "So which candidate do you support for gay rights?".

I dread it when she starts asking more personal questions. I mean, it's obvious that a large part of being gay has to do with our sexuality, and those questions might get a little uncomfortable explaining to her.

 

[G-Lexington]

They needn't be. If you get a question that you feel you can't answer in person, let her know you'll give her a full answer via e-mail. Then do just that.

Lex

 

[Lube]

Ick. You don't have to explain the sexuality part of it to your mother! Tell her to read a book, for heaven's sake.

 

[landers]

Yes, my father seems indifferent and hasn't really said anything about it, but my mother has begun asking the 'questions'. It's mostly along the lines of "Did you hear about that California Gay Marriage Ban?" and "So which candidate do you support for gay rights?".

I dread it when she starts asking more personal questions. I mean, it's obvious that a large part of being gay has to do with our sexuality, and those questions might get a little uncomfortable explaining to her.

Maybe you should direct her to a support group of her own, something like PFLAG. It sounds like while she supports you she's a little ignorant on some matters of homosexuality and something like PFLAG could help her out.

Congratulations! I can only dream of telling the truth to my family. My mother passed away a few months ago and I'm only living with my dad and my brother now. I keep thinking that I'll probably never come out for the rest of my life. Plus, I'm still very much confused. Am I gay or bi?

It's nice to hear your story.

Gay or bi you like guys. Why not explore man-sex and everything else that comes with homosexual relationships and figure out if you like girls later?

 

[tallguy297]

hehe, thanks

I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off me, but now there's an emptiness like there's something missing, and I have this chronic pain in the back of my neck and shoulders. Sounds funny, having a pain on your shoulders and you've had a non-literal weight lifted off of them, but it's still there.

Is it stress?

No mate.... thats standing upright for the first time in a long time... and its your back stretching as your chest pushes out!

I mean, it's obvious that a large part of being gay has to do with our sexuality, and those questions might get a little uncomfortable explaining to her.

Yes and no mate.

Is everything that a str8 person does defined by their sexuality? Does it change the way they laugh or cry, the things they enjoy or dislike? Dont let yourself... and more importantly your mum and dad get too fixated on the physical aspect of being gay.

Yes... you find the love support and comfort of being with another man. But you still love, laugh and cry like any other male. You still have a sense of humour that sets you apart, a smile that sets you apart, an intellect and a sense of right and wrong that set you apart. None of those things are influenced by the fact that you are gay... they are your unique combination and code. Being gay is just another factor.

You are you... and in time your parents will realize that nothing has actually changed... they simply found out something they didnt know... and that happens to all of us everyday.

 

[VoodooSmiles]

you is so sexy

 

[Pushover]

No mate.... thats standing upright for the first time in a long time... and its your back stretching as your chest pushes out!



Yes and no mate.

Is everything that a str8 person does defined by their sexuality? Does it change the way they laugh or cry, the things they enjoy or dislike? Dont let yourself... and more importantly your mum and dad get too fixated on the physical aspect of being gay.

Yes... you find the love support and comfort of being with another man. But you still love, laugh and cry like any other male. You still have a sense of humour that sets you apart, a smile that sets you apart, an intellect and a sense of right and wrong that set you apart. None of those things are influenced by the fact that you are gay... they are your unique combination and code. Being gay is just another factor.

You are you... and in time your parents will realize that nothing has actually changed... they simply found out something they didnt know... and that happens to all of us everyday.

Oh, I don't hold to the double standard belief at all. I'm just saying it's that one sexual aspect that gets us labeled by everyone else as 'different'.

I mean, eventually she's going to ask questions about it, and I hardly want to explain it in graphic detail. I think I'll go with Lube and tell her to go read a book.

 

[tallguy297]

I mean, eventually she's going to ask questions about it, and I hardly want to explain it in graphic detail. I think I'll go with Lube and tell her to go read a book.

hahaha... and that should be the last time you have to worry about that lot of questions then mate!!!!

Make sure you let us know how it goes!