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KevinBE

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hi everybody,

This is the first time i'm posting something on this forum. But, i have questions.
I'm 19 years old and still a virgin. But i have been looking to experiment with someone.
Now, the question is. I've been looking on the internet about information, but all i see is HIV this and STD that. If there are so many STD's then why do men even dear to have sex with each other?
I want to experiment , but on the other hand i'm actually scared to catch something.
Please, help me ease my mind.
 
I get you! We are constantly bombarded with information about STD's and the dangers of sex, that it can seem very scary to engage in, especially as a virgin.
As long as you use protection (condom) and take care of yourself, you should be fine.. Be sure that the guy you're with respects you and you're boundaries and be critical as to who you're with: if something seems fishy or shady, it probably is.

Hope this could ease your mind a bit.
Have fun boy :-)
 
Instead of experimenting, which sounds like casual sex, why not look for someone you can date and get to know first? You don't
sound like you are ready for sex, imo.
 
KevinBE said:
hi everybody,

This is the first time i'm posting something on this forum. But, i have questions.
I'm 19 years old and still a virgin. But i have been looking to experiment with someone.
Now, the question is. I've been looking on the internet about information, but all i see is HIV this and STD that. If there are so many STD's then why do men even dear to have sex with each other?
I want to experiment , but on the other hand i'm actually scared to catch something.
Please, help me ease my mind.
Click to expand...

Let me rewrite your post.

I'm 19 years old and have never driven a car. But I've been interested in trying it out. Now the question is - I've been looking on the internet about information, but all I see is car-crash this, and accident that. If there are so many car accidents, then why do men even try to have sex with each other? I want to experiment, but on the other hand, I'm actually scared to have something happen to me.

Believe it or not, the ideas are very similar. Both sex and driving can be very fun activities, but they come with risks. And those risks are severe. If you don't know what you're doing, if you're not careful, your life could be in jeopardy. But that doesn't stop most people from getting in their cars and driving, and it shouldn't stop people from having sex.

So what do you do? The same thing you do if you're driving. Learn the hazards. Learn how to protect yourself.

Condoms are your biggest protector when it comes to anal (and vaginal) sex. If you've never worn a condom, buy some. Try masturbating with them on. Learn how to put one on and take one off. Learn how to lube one up. Learn how to put a bit of lube inside the condom to increase the sensastion for you.

STIs can be transmitted via oral as well, but the odds there are much much smaller. Diseases like HIV need a direct line to your bloodstream in order to "take", so if you have an open sore in your mouth, don't do oral. Don't brush your teeth beforehand, since that might make your gums bleed and provide an entry point. As an added bit of safety, take the cock out of your mouth before orgasm.

Learn how to meet guys safely. Always meet in a public place first, so you can be in his presence, interact with him, and see if you get a negative vibe from him. Never be afraid to say "I'd rather not do this" - whether during the meeting up phase, or in the bedroom. Make it very clear what you want, what you're willing to do, and what you expect to happen. Don't change the gameplan because he switches it on you once you're in bed, and "he must know what he's doing". Say "This is what I want to do", and stick with it.

It may sound like a lot, but it's really not. There might be a ton of rules, guidelines and hazards on the road each time you get in the car, but you probably don't give them a lot of thought. You know what you're doing, and you just do it. Same thing. :)

Lex
 
hi,

i just want to say thank you for the answers, they really help.

@ Lexington. If you put it like that, then you're absolutely right. there's no point in worrying so much about something that's just natural.

This week i even had the courage to say to my brother, my parents and some friends that i'm into men. And I was pleased to hear that they were ok with it.
I still have friends who don't know that i'm gay because i don't know how they would take it. Did anyone else have the same problems when coming out of the closet.
 
Hey dude, I'm in the same situation as you. I'm still new at all this too and STDs/STIs totally freak me out. In fact, there is a new drug-resistant (currently incurable) strain of Gonorrhea right now that is spreading... A new 'superbug' strain of gonorrhea could be headed to U.S. - latimes.com
It's important to stay up-to-date and just read the general news.
And then there are things like neurocysticercosis (getting tapeworms in your brain) from human feces so butt licking is definitely a no-go for me....
Hidden Epidemic:
Your risk can be partly dependent upon the economic standing of the country where the person is from, from whom you're licking if you're into that.
Here is a complete chart of risks for common sexual acts & what you can get: SFCC :: STD Basics : STD Risks Chart

If you know someone for a while though and you think they are honest and have been tested for STIs, there is virtually no risk. If you want to venture out and have random sex, personally I wouldn't do more than a hand job and some cuddling or massaging but don't do it without meeting them first in a public place and telling someone where you are first. Also, don't let any cuts or wounds come in contact with them. And, if you have sex in a public place, depending on where you live, you could be put on a sex offenders list if you get caught which will really screw you over. You're always at risk of herpes, HPV, and crabs from skin to skin contact even if the person is asymptomatic but it's less risky if there are no sores so it's always best to look for sores first if you do decide to kiss some random person. It's not the end of the world though if you do get something like herpes cause there are hundreds and hundreds of different types and you may not ever get the type that would give you any symptoms from it anyway and the types that do have symptoms do get better over time but they are a pain to live with from what I've heard. Everyone reacts to it differently.

Congrats on coming out of the closet! You're really lucky to have a family like that so enjoy your freedom. I'm still having those problems with friends since so many are religious. I hope your situation is better with your friends. If you run into any christians, I found this that really helped that you can use: Homosexuality and Christianity: Does God bless same-sex marriage? Or just ask them what harm it does, being gay, and they can never give you a straight answer. If they use their brain then they'll figure out that it's fine and normal that you're gay and much healthier to be out! Oh, and don't ever fall for any reparative therapy shit: Former Ex-Gays - YouTube
 
It's easy to worry about what others will think, or how they'll react. Know that in generally, people react better than we expect them to. They generally don't care much about who we fuck. :)

Lex
 
i needed 3 days to build up courage tot confront my parents. I was thinking about all possible scenario's that could happen. I eventually told them and indeed it went better then expected. It's human nature to expect the worse, i think.

But aren't their times you see someone in a bar or a club and just go for it? I'm new at these kind of situations. Do you control yourself and just make friends and see what comes out of it. Or what if someone comes up to you and says that he would like to go to bed with you, and you would like it to. Do you just make it a standard to say " NO, we first have to know each other" (even tough you want to have sex with the person)

these are al the random questions that are going trough my mind.
 
Its good to have sex with people you know really, really well. And whom you can trust.

Now if that isn't in the cards, then, yes, your risks increase. Because you don't know or know much about the other person penetrating and squirting body juices into you. But then, conversely, they don't much know who is squirting his body juices either if they're having sex with you.

So you'd be right. There are some risks in that and I suppose those risks ought to have you scared (as you apparently are).

But why wouldn't you be scared when you clearly understand that juice squirting between people who barely know one another (or know one another not all) has its risks?

So how to avoid or minimize those risks? Again, try to have some sex with somebody you know and trust really well. I realize that can sometimes be a novel idea among guys. But that's one alternative.

Another is to always be certain to wear a condom. And wear one especially when you know there will be juicing with guys you hardly know or don't trust or just met in a dark corner somewhere.

But then, in those instances, you ought to also worry about contracting MRSA, warts and even psoriasis. Let alone the fact you run the risk of being killed and perhaps cannibalized.

So again, I highly recommend that you try to meet someone, get to know him well and then broach the topic of doing the penis fun with him. If you're this worried about disease, that is.

If you need sex and need sex NOW you may turn to the handiest penis you can find. Just know that some acquaintances lie. A classic fuck buddy, for instance, may or may not tell his status (whether it be HIV or marital).

And expect even less from some shadowy stranger in, say, a public toilets where he might have a very ample penis hanging out of his jeans' fly. After all, what's such a guy expected to have to tell the dudes sucking on his cock? You're all strangers to him, as well, don't forget.

And you're 19. Young. But not too young to have been sent to war...last year. So MAN UP and make some decisions in life. You have to make the best decisions that you can. You seem to know there are risks. So any decision you make - if responsible - ought to include that pre-existing knowledge.
 
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